


The Virgins Lover

by childofsurprise



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Tudor Era, Civil War, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mutual Pining, Sexual Experimentation, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), War, Whipping, lots of aftercare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:14:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 45,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofsurprise/pseuds/childofsurprise
Summary: 1500s. During a civil war, Rey is taken as a prisoner of war by Kylo Ren. Sick of being mocked by his friends for being a virgin, he offers her freedom from confinement in exchange for taking her to bed to practise on before he is married. As their physical relationship develops, they begin to bond and as the war grows closer to their gates, both must decide which side they will stand with.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Kira, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 253
Kudos: 282





	1. I

Kylo slashed his sword in an arch, slicing through the mans face. His skin parted and blood gushed out like a waterfall. The man’s scream pierced Kylos’ ears making him inwardly wince, as his eye burst from its socket and fell into the mud. As his sword comes back, completing the circle, Kylo clenched his abdomen and kicked the man in the chest so he tumbled down to the bloody field. Kylo steadied himself and drove the point his sword into the mans neck, blood bubbling out. He grit his teeth and twisted the blade. The mans garbling stops. Kylo pulled it out and looks about the field.

Mattered bodies lay across the once green grass. The majority were the peasants, the rebels who had assembled to fight in the civil war. Some are his own soldiers, their battered armour glistening in the sunlight. A few are left fighting, his knights making quick work of them. The majority have fled by this point, either cowards or injured. Kylo wiped his sword against the peasants clothing. His hair was slick with sweat, his clothing drenched in blood, mud and innards of his victims. His body ached, his adrenaline wearing off. He sighed heavily and let his sword dangle by his side. He longed to remove his helmet but could not until back at the castle under Snoke’s orders.

He felt the swing of the sword before it entered his line of vision, the sun glancing off its steel.

He ducked, his hand tightening his own weapon and faced his opponent. They were fairly short, slender, quick in their movements. Dressed in all black leather, with a breastplate and a helmet, their visor covering their eyes.

Same as him.

His stomach twisted and he dug his heels into the slick earth. They lunged towards him. He blocked their sword, immediately switching to the defensive. His muscles are waking up, adrenaline once more coursing through his veins. The stranger turned and attacked, the noise of steel ringing in his ears as Kylo brought his sword up to meet their blade. Blocking, countering. He lunged and they defect his blade with a flick of their wrist. Kylo clenched his jaw, breathing out his nose, scrunching up his face under his helmet. He dug his heel into the ground as he turned and slashed at them. They leaned backward, his blade carrying over them.

Hegrowled, spun and raised his sword and brought it down. The stranger lurched away from him, spun their sword and attacked. Kylo could hear them breathing heavily beneath their helmet as he parried their blows. He smirked. _So long as I can keep them in this dance, they’ll tire and then I'll finish them._ He relaxed slightly into the movements. Their feet danced around each other, both trying to shove the other one backward.

With each parry and attack, the stranger did not tire but seemed to grow in confidence. Their blade stroked his leg and he roared. His body tensed once more and he shoved them with his body, swinging his blade with a primal savagery. The stranger roared back, blocking him with ease. Kylo grit his teeth and dodged the blade. But not far enough; it cut through the small gap in his gauntlet and his vambrace on his forearm, piecing his skin.

Kylo wrenched his arm away, pain ripping through him. He swung his own sword towards the stranger, blindly lashing out. They dodged him with ease. Kylo bellowed; cursing, screaming, and drives himself at them. They stranger jumped out of his path, centred, fortified for a moment. Then they lunged at him.

Kylo could feel his sweat pouring down his body, his was armour hot and heavy; his arm ached, the cut stinging, making him clumsy. Their weapons pounded together, steel ringing. The stranger met his attacks smoothly with single handed swipes. Kylo could hear jeering, laughs, mocking sentences. He could hear Snoke’s laughter in his ears, his knights derogative comments. He could see their smirking faces in his minds eye, laughing at him for losing. He yelled out, to drown them and keeps the noise pouring out of his mouth.

As their blades brought them closer, the stranger drove their weight into him, unsteadying him and slashing at him. He ducked, his feet sliding in the mud and blood. His screaming grew louder and more piercing. The stranger twitched, as through his cries hurt them.They slash again, more ferociously, and struckhis swords hilt. It twisted out of his hand, tumbling into the dirt.

In the split second Kylo watched his sword leave his body, the stranger hit his face with the hilt of their sword. Pain exploded where they made contact. He heard a crack and knew his nose was broken. Hot liquid exploded on his face and he yelled incoherently as he falls. His body hit the damp field, sliding in the mud and blood. It stunk of death. Metallic. Fruity. Shit.

His ears were ringing, his breath stopped, his mouth dry. Bile was rising up his throat. Through glazed eyes, he looked up and saw the stranger holding their sword above their head.

He closed his eyes and saw his mother’s face.

The blow he was expecting never came. He opened his eyes. His six knights were wrestling with the stranger. They had managed to take their sword away from them and were forcing them onto their knees. The stranger was writhing, snarling, biting yet they over-powered them.

Kylo stood, brushing what he can of the dirt off his armour. Hux and his knights were staring at him. He couldn’t read their expressions through their helmets but their bodies were tense, their shoulders held back, their heads tilted downwards. Kylo swallowed and straightened.

He nodded to Hux who ripped the helmet off the stranger. They all froze.

_A girl._

Her hazel eyes met Kylos, fierce, unwavering. It took everything he had not to flinch under her gaze. His jaw slacked, his eyes widening, and his breath left his body

She was beautiful. Her dark hair was scraped back with curls fame her face, emphasising her cheekbones. Her eyebrows were knotted together, her nostrils flared, her lips pursed, highlighting her jawline. Her face was flushed and shining, fierce, passionate, enticing.

She bared her teeth at him and he wiped his face blank, straightening up. Hux handed him back his sword and he tucked it under her chin, the blade scraping at her throat. Traces of blood and mud transferred to her pale skin. She didn’t flinch but jerked her head up, offering more of her throat to him. Kylos saw her swallow, her veins fluttering. _She’s scared_.

His lip curled.

He stepped forward keeping the blade to her, until he loomed over her. Her face in line with his hips. A perfect height. He felt his body stir. Her eyes looked up at him steadily, not betraying her. Kylo gestured for his knights to back off. They released her. As they did, Kylo raised his sword and drove the hilt of it into her head. It smacked her with aloud crack. Blood started to pour down her face. Her eyes rolled back into her skull and she fainted, mud splattering her.

Kylo tossed his sword to Hux and lifted her up in his arms. She hung there. She was light but muscular. She felt so small in his arms and his shifted her closer, so she didn’t slip from his grasp. The scent of sweat, blood, oranges and the gladiolus flower rippled off her, filling his nose with the smell. She looked peaceful, despite the blood. Her eyes rolled under her lids and he wondered what she was dreaming of. He shoved the thought aside, squared his shoulders and stalked off the field, towards his horse to ride home.

“Ren!” Hux’s terse tones followed him. Kylo ignored him, slinging the girl onto the horse,in front of his saddle.

“Ren. Leader Snoke forbade prisoners-”

“She could prove useful.” Kylo placed his foot in the stirrup, placed his hands upon the horses back and swung himself into the saddle his other foot hooking into place. The girl jolted slightly and he shifted to accommodate her response upon his horse. He looked down at Hux who pursed his lips.

“For who?” Hux demanded.

“For himself,” Ap’lek’s voice cut through the tension, leaning on his ax. Light but with an edge. Kylo glanced at him. He smirked in response. “To practise before his wedding night with Kira.”

Hux and Kylo ignored him. He was grateful for his helmet, hiding his reddening face.

“Upon your head.” Hux muttered.

“Kill any survivors and then follow on.”

“Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit.” Hux continued. “Destroy the rebels. Not capture some girl.”

Kylo stared at him, drawing himself to his full height. Hux stared back, his cheek twitching. They shared at each other until Hux blinked. Kylo smirked.

“How capable are your soldiers, General?”

“I won't have you question my methods.” Hux snarled.

“Because,” Kylo drawled. “Theres a number of rebels feeling right now who should be destroyed.Perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a different army.”

“My men are exceptionally trained, programmed from birth-”

“Then they should have no problem hunting down and killing any survivors.”

“Careful, Ren.” Hux eyes glinted. “That your personal interests not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke.”

“I want the rest hunted down and killed.” Kylo wound his reins in his hands. “For your sake, I suggest you get it.” He gave his house a soft kick, setting off into a trot, not looking back at the sea of corpses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story! Please feel free to leave me a comment or a give a quick kudos. They mean so much to me and I really appreciate them ❤️
> 
> I studied history, specialising in the Tudor period and I've tried my best to make this story as accurate as possible. If you do spot any mistakes, feel free to notify me so I may fix them in the future.
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful [Ash](https://twitter.com/daisyridlevs) for being an amazing beta! ❤️
> 
> Come say hi to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kylosgal)


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blown away by the response to the first chapter. Thank you so much! ❤️
> 
> CW: violence and mention of rape (none takes place nor sexual assault of any kind) - If you would like to skip over this mention, the opening sentence of the paragraph is:  
>  _She sighed and stared at the ceiling._  
>  The ending sentence of the paragraph is:  
>  _He hadn’t moved._  
> 

Rey's head pounded. It was like an elastic band was wrapped around it, and pressing inwards while she regained consciousness. She could smell blood and licked her lips, tasting the old metallic twang upon her tongue. She groaned and shifted, fire ripping through her body. One of her eyelids fluttered, the other was swollen shut. She attempted to open it, pain coursing through her head, and cried out softly. 

She became aware of the straps against her wrists, ankles, and chest, pinning her to the iron chair. She reacted immediately, without thought, jerking against her restraints. She shook herself and took a deep breath. She relaxed her arms and tried to wriggle out of the straps, twisting her wrists. No matter how she scrunched her hands up, interlacing her fingers, they could not squeeze through the restraints. She gritted her teeth, her forehead crunching, pain tearing through her as her wound reopened. She began to shake, a scream building. Her body arched, her back leaving the metal, turning this way and that, as she thrashed against the restraints. 

Footsteps sounded nearby, approaching the room and she sank back down. She closed her eyes, letting her head hang, and took deep steady breaths. In for ten, hold for five, out for ten, hold for five. 

It sounded like two people, but she couldn’t be sure without revealing she was conscious. She could hear one of them pacing around her, leaning over her, their hot stinking breath upon her face. She wanted to gag and flinch away from it yet held herself still, screaming only in her head. 

“The girl I’ve heard so much about.” A voice purred, their breath fanning over her face before fading away. It was a harsh voice, gravelly, deep. Twisted. Rey's stomach flipped, bile rose and she felt near to vomiting. “This girl resisted you?”

Another voice spoke. A muffled one. But it was still deep, rich, and powerful. Her stomach flipped again and her heart fluttered. Rey swallowed, hoping they couldn’t see. 

“She’s strong. Untrained but stronger than she knows.”

The gravelly voice hummed and the noise of feet against the stone floor stop. Rey’s body began to tremble with the effort of staying still. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from making a noise.

“And what will you use her for, Ren?”

“Information. About the rebellions movements.” She could hear shuffling. “Supreme Leader, I can get the information from the girl. I just need your guidance.” 

“So Hux was lying? About your intentions with the girl?” 

Rey's foot slipped from its resting spot and she froze, praying they haven’t noticed her. Tears threatened, pain tearing through her swollen eye. Her muscles started trembling softly against her tension. She was about to die. She was about to be tortured. She swallowed and sank into the chair slowly. She wouldn’t give them anything. 

“Yes.” The deep voice spat.

A charged silence fell about the room. She heard shuffling again. 

“Good. Then we will crush them once and for all. Keep yourself in check, Ren.”

“By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced.”

“We shall see. We shall see.”

Footsteps walked away from her, the door creaked and then banged. Rey let go of her breath. She heard the sound of something being dragged against the stone and clattering. A crash. A scuffling sound. Silence aside from the persons breathing and her own thumping heart. 

She knew she couldn’t feign sleep forever. Her stomach knotted and she steeled herself against the pain she knew would come. She would rather be tortured, beaten, starved, killed then betray her friends. Betray her family. The only one she’d ever known. Rey took a deep breath and opened her eye. 

She blinked, the room spinning slightly. She could taste blood in her mouth from where her teeth dug into her cheek. She swallowed and shook her head, trying to focus. 

She was strapped to an iron chair in a stone room with an open flame flickering in the corner, casting an array of shadows. Opposite her sat the knight she had beaten in the field. He was still wearing his bloody, filthy armour, his helmet sat upon his head. She started slightly and heard him chuckle. Her jaw clenched and she glared at him as best she could. 

“Where am I?” She demanded, jerking against her restraints. The silence stretched as the knight stared at her. She could feel heat rising under his gaze but kept her eyes on him. 

“You’re my guest.” He spoke softly, leaning forward a fraction. Rey blinked. She could feel sweat beginning to form on her forehead, her heart thumped in her chest. She tried to breathe slowly, forcing herself to calm down. Guest. Maybe he wouldn’t torture her. Maybe he was joking. Maybe he just wanted information as he claimed earlier and thought by making her comfortable she would give it up. 

“Where are the others?” 

“You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call allies?” He snorted. Rey growled at this and watched as his cheek twitched, hopefully in surprise. Her eyes flicked over him, curiosity getting the better of her. He was poised, controlled, but tense also. She could feel her body beginning to ache from her tension, her thigh pulsing in pain. She hissed involuntarily as the muscle twinged. 

“You still want to kill me.” He stated. Rey made no move to confirm or deny him. He let out what could either have been a chuckle or a heavy breath. Rey scowled at him, opening her mouth and speaking before her mind has caught up with her. 

“That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask.” She snarled, regretting her words the moment they leave her mouth. 

Now he was going to hurt her. She tried to sit up straight, jutting her chin out defiantly. 

He stood and she couldn't help her recoil. He raised his hands to either side of his helmet and pulled it off. Rey’s breath left her body. He was handsome. His face was chiseled; sharp cheekbone and a strong jawline, despite his broken nose. Moles scatter his skin and his lips were pink and plump. His hair flowed off his face, curling delicately at the tips. His eyes were glistening slightly, whether that be emotional or the fire playing tricks she couldn’t tell. Her stomach lurched, her heart quickened and she clenched her thighs and abdomen against the heat building. 

She scowled, shifting her body so it did not betray her. She carefully rearranged her own mask of defiance. 

“Tell me when the rebellion will attack next.” He demanded, his eyebrows knitting together.

She stared straight ahead, focusing on the wall behind him. “It will keep going until you raise wages, disband the statute of labourers law, the poll tax and-”

He stepped towards her, prowling, his feet making no noise against the stone. He walked to her side, bending down, his face close to hers. She could smell sweat and yew and something she couldn’t put her finger on. It was floral, but nothing she had ever smelt before. 

“You know I can take whatever I want.” He purred, his voice like a still black lake. She felt a thrill run through her. “I am a prince and you are nothing but a peasant girl, playing at swords.”

Rey blinked, tears threatening. He chuckled softly. His hand rose towards her and she recoiled but had nowhere to go. His fingertips hovered over her face, before once they made contact. Electricity zipped through her, scorching her. His eyes widen and she knew he could feel it too. The energy between them. He snatched his hand away, as though she’d burnt him. The electricity faded to a steady hum in her body. She couldn’t move, couldn’t break her eyes away from his.

“You're so lonely... so afraid.” He murmured. A tear spilled over her cheek, betraying her. He smiled slightly, knowing his assessment was right. 

“Little orphan girl with nobody to turn to, nobody to help you.” He continued, his tone was soothing.

Rey’s hands balled into fists, desperate to break out, to ram her thumbs into his eyes, to shove her hand down his throat and pull out his vocal cords. To make him stop. 

“You feel like that scum leading the rebellion are the family you’ve never had. They would’ve disappointed you.”

Rey took a deep breath and bared her teeth, trying to make herself look as ugly as possible. “Get away from me.”

Instead, he leaned in closer, his breath tickling her cheek. 

“I know you've seen the plans. It's in there... and now you'll give it to me.” He paused. His hand went to the side of the chair and pulled. Spikes began to creep upwards from the armrests, digging into her forearms. Rey bit her lip, determined not to scream, but her eyes filled with tears. As the spikes broke her skin, her tears tumbled onto her cheeks, and a whimper left her. 

At the sound, he seemed to flinch and stopped the movement of the spikes. His eyes flittered over her body. When they met hers there’s a yearning and hunger in them. His fingers brushed against her cheek and she gasped slightly, shocked once more by the jolt her body singing at his touch. She looked into his eyes and saw a glimmer of fear. 

“Don’t be afraid. I feel it too.” He whispered. She pulled her face away from his fingers and spat at him. 

“I’m not giving you anything.”

He raised an arm and wiped his face against this sleeve. When it dropped back down to his side, his face was blank. 

“We’ll see.” He peered into her eyes, his gaze burning into them. She met him and despite the pain and fear coursing through her, she felt a sense of calm fall over her. The way a lake stills after a pebble has been tossed into its depths.

“You’re afraid.” She whispered. He froze, his face twitching. She felt a glimmer of a flicker in her chest and edged forward, growing the flick into a flame. “You’re afraid you’ll never be strong or match your leaders' expectations for you.” 

He stumbled backward, his bottom lip trembling. He bit it, the smallest of hisses escaping as blood bloomed upon his lip. Rey watched as it formed, her stomach twisting, her mouth curling into a smile. He turned away from her, hiding his face. He walked to the wall and stared at it. Rey sat still, comfortable. A tense silence fell between them. When he did finally speak, his voice was low and inviting. 

“I’ll escort you back to your cell.”

“And do what?” she demanded, hating how her voice jumped in pitch.

“That’s your choice,” he purred, turning to face her. His face was solid now, a controlled mask. She swallowed and saw his eyes flicker to her throat for a moment. “You can the languish there for the rest of your days, or you can have a modicum of freedom if you share my bed.”

Rey's jaw dropped. So these were his aforementioned intentions. She felt heat creeping upwards, engulfing her neck and face. She attempted to speak but only spluttered instead. She saw him shift slightly.

“W–what’s your name?” 

He blinked, surprise engulfing his features. “Kylo. You?”

“Rey,” she answered automatically and then cursed herself for not giving a pseudonym. Kylo nodded, the mask realigning, and waited again. She shook her head and tried again.

“Wouldn’t you prefer someone with a bit more, erm, experience?”

He shook his head. 

She sighed and stared at the ceiling. Could she? She’d never been with anybody, but had seen couples together, and felt a pain her chest when she saw them. It made her curious and nervous and excited when she thought of sex. But not with him, her enemy, her oppressor. But then she’d stay in some horrid dank dark cell forever with god who knows, and they’d probably try to attack her too. Probably rape her. At least he was giving her a choice. A sigh left her lips and she looked at him. He hadn’t moved.

“May I think about it?”

He nodded. “Of course.” He came to her and unbuckled the restraints one by one. When her wrists were free, she rubbed her them, her skin burning her. He held out a rope and she sighed but held her arms out. He tied her wrists together, slightly below her chafed skin.

Rey wobbled as her feet met the solid ground, swaying as she tried to regain balance. Kylo held out a hand to steady her, cupping her elbow, and she leaned into him as an electric jolt pulsed through her once more. He waited until she was steady and then went and unlocked the door. He stood holding it open, waiting for her to follow. She did. 

Open flames hung in brackets upon the walls every ten feet or so, offering light and heat which she welcomed. The ground was damp beneath her feet and the smell of filth filled her nose. She coughed, trying to rid her mouth of the taste. Kylos’ arm brushed against hers a few times, warmth radiating off him. She blushed each time it did and he grew tenser. She shifted away from him slightly. He made a small noise, between a sigh and a grunt, but did not move from his path. 

As they walked, people pressed themselves gains the walls to allow them to pass. Each time it happened, Rey felt herself relaxing, her back straightening, her chest rising. She smiled at a few who did but got noting in return. Kylo did not acknowledge the people, but simply strode forwards. 

He stopped by a door at the end and opened it. A chill ran through her as she looked in.

It was dark. People's faces were highlighted by the light from the corridor. The smell of urine, sweat, and shit hung in the air, making her gag. Kylo's hand pressed against her lower back and shoved her lightly, so she tripped over the threshold. Her knees hit the floor, padded by the stuff she did not want to think of, and a gnarled hand shot out of the darkness and gripped her arm. She snapped her head up, coming face to face with a man. 

He grinned, showing his lack of teeth, and pulled her closer. Rey wrenched herself away from him, wobbling and toppling over the other way. Her face hit wetness and the smell of feces shot up her nose. She breathed out of her nose, frantically trying to push it out. The man was chuckling and his hand touched her shin. She kicked at him. He growled and bit her leg, his remaining teeth digging into her flesh. She cried out as he pierced the skin and sat up, whacking him with her bound hands. He released her and grinned, dirt and blood trickling down his chin. Rey glared, determined not to cry as she scrambled to her feet. 

The other prisoners sat and stared at her. They made no move to help her, or noise to tell the man to back off, or check she was okay. She turned to Kylo, stood in the doorway, surrounded by the golden light of the flames. She allowed her tears to flow as she looked at him. He stared impassively at her. She took a deep breath. 

“I choose you.” 

She thought she saw relief flicker across his face but could not be sure. He was stoic. After what seemed like an age, he nodded. She smiled weakly and took a step towards him. He beckoned her closer. She did and he drew a knife from the folds of his clothing. She held out her bound hands. He cut through the rope that bound her. She smiled at him, warmly, rubbing her wrists. 

He reached out towards her, his hand coming to rest against her chest. Her heart is thumped wildly. He sucked in a breath and then pushed. 

She stumbled, hit the ground, her head slamming against the floor. Through hazed vision, she looked up at the door. At Kylo. He was gone, and the door closed with a deafening bang. 


	3. III

Rey did not sleep that night. She sat in the corner closest to the door. The man who had bitten her did not move his eyes from her, and although she felt sticky under his gaze, she did not move her eyes from his either. The wall was cold against her back, the ground damp, her clothes sticky and beginning to smell. Tears threatened several times, as did sleep, yet she fought them off, opening her eyes widely and chewing on the inside of her mouth. Her head throbbed, her eyelids were heavy, her arms bled a little and throbbed with the pain of the spikes, the phantom rope dug into the flesh of her wrists– but she held on. Her swollen eye had gone down slightly, but it was sensitive still. A yawn rose in her throat and she clenched her jaw, forcing it to stay inside. 

A guard strode through the door at what she assumed to be daybreak. His hand closed around the scruff of her neck and dragged her to her feet. She blinked and stumbled along with him, fighting off another yawn. The guard scoffed and tightened his grip, making her gag slightly. Her feet scrambled to meet the ground in an attempt to walk in step with him, but she was being pulled too fast to do so. Left with no other choice, she settled on being half dragged along the corridor, back to the room with the chair. A giggle bubbled up inside her as the door opened, erupting as she was pushed inside. 

She held her hands up, laughter exploding from her mouth, ready to fight despite her bonds. But the guard did not push her towards the chair. He released her and she fell to the floor, her body hitting it with a smack, and she couldn’t stop herself crying out. Rey bit her lip, digging her nails into her palms, clenching her eyes shut to stop herself from reacting. She stood up, breathing heavily, wincing. She brushed the dirt from her hands and pressed her forearm into her eyes, desperate for relief. A deep cough sounded behind her, and she turned. 

Kylo stood in the doorway. 

He wore all black, aside from his chemise, which was pure white. His doublet with matching sleeve had little red diamonds sewn on to it. His trousers were loose against his legs, with black leash boots reaching to just below his knees. A black cape hung off one shoulder, almost touching the floor. His hair looked soft and thick, his face is solid once more. Someone had reset his nose, and had wound a tight linen bandage around his face to set the break. 

Rey stopped breathing. Her heart beat frantically within her chest, her stomach fluttering, her palms sweating. She blushed, aware of her swollen face, her dried cracked blood, her muddy clothing, the smell of sweat and shit wafting off her. Her hands shook, and she wished she could lie down and fade into the floor. 

“Do you still feel the same way?” 

His voice filled the room. Rey sniffed and raised herself up to her full height, still tiny against him, meeting his gaze. 

“Yes.” Her voice is steady. Surprise flittered across his face before he nodded. He stepped to one side, his fingers beckoning her to come towards him. She walked over and moved past him in the doorway, feeling the heat radiating off him. He sucked in a breath as she passed. Something lodged deep within her, pulsating, blossoming. Her hands shook. 

They walked side by side in silence. People step away, backs against the walls as Kylo stalked past, looking away from him. He doesn’t acknowledge them, staring straight ahead. Rey followed him in silence up the stone staircase, through many winding corridors. She could see people staring, grimacing, holding their noses as she walked by. She raised her head higher into the air, her feet meeting the ground more forcefully with each step. She could hear the sniggers and comments, but ignored them. They wouldn’t touch her anyways, not with Kylo by her side. He glowed with power, with importance. _He's the apex predator, and I'm in his pride._

He took her to a dingy grey coloured room with a fireplace, a chair with white clothing dropped on the back on, and a bath. A tall serving girl instead stood holding a few cloths and a few bottles of liquid, her black hair escaping slightly from her cap. The springy coils framed her face, bouncing slightly as she looked at them. Kylo undid her restraints and pushed her inside. 

“Bathe,” He ordered. “Then get dressed in those.” He nodded toward the chair. “I’ll be right outside.” He left the room.

Rubbing at her wrists where the skin was sore, Rey turned to the girl who avoided her eyes, her brown eyes darting back and forth between Rey and the floor. Rey sighed and stripped off before slipping into the hot water. A noise between a sigh and a moan escaped her lips as she did, and the girl’s own eyes widened. Rey fought back a giggle.

“I’m Rey.” She offered as the girl approached with a scrubbing brush. She gave no response, but began to run the coarse brush over Rey’s body, cleaning away the mud and blood to her white skin. Rey winced slightly at the movement but welcomed it. The girl rubbed the wounds on her arm with a cloth and dabbed gently at her eye. Rey smiled at her as she did, grateful.

Once she was satisfied with Rey’s cleanliness, the girl poured a bucket of water over Rey’s head and began washing her hair. Rey sighed and sank into the feeling, relaxing as the girl ran her fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp and then pouring hot water over her once more. Rey felt her tension melt away in the water, her shoulders unknotting for the first time in an age. She wondered if she could be happy here. She wondered what her friends would say if they knew she was whoring herself out to the leader of the first order in exchange for a hot bath. She shoved the thought aside, splashing the water onto her face. It burned her skin and she smiled as it did, focusing only upon the hot water and the sound of the fire crackling. 

She stood and accepted the towel the girl offered her, wrapping it around herself as she stepped out. She snorted slightly at the now brown coloured water as she dried herself. 

The girl handed Rey a black chemise, which slipped easily over her head. She then bent and held out a black hose for Rey. Rey lifted her feet one at a time and allowed the girl to slide them up and over her legs. She then gestured for Rey to sit in the chair, which she did. 

The girl took Rey’s arm in her hand, twisting it so her wounds were facing upwards. Then she opened a bottle and sprinkled the liquid over Rey’s arm. Alcohol. Rey hissed with pain and tried to pull away, but the girl tightened her grip. Opening another bottle, she rubbed an orange paste upon her arm. It smelled slightly of ginger and oranges, with a bitter twist. She repeated the actions on her other arm, and her leg at the bite mark. She rubbed the orange paste upon each injury, including her swollen eye. Then she wound bandages around each of her arms, her calf and her head.

She then helped Rey into her bodice. Rey winced as the bodice tightened around her body, digging into her bruises. 

The girl then got her to step into a light green gown, attaching the wide, open sleeves as she went. She adjusted various parts as she went along, tightening and loosening them to show Rey’s figure off; her muscular shoulders and back, her small breasts pushed up within an inch of their lives, her waist exaggerated, her hips and legs hidden under the layers of fabric but still hinted.

Rey stood still, unsure of how to move or behave. One finished with the dressing, the girl brushed Rey’s hair, arranging it so it flowed down her back and framed her face. Rey attempted to walk in the dress, stumbling slightly, wishing for her armour. 

The girl crossed the room and opened the door where Kylo was standing. He entered and surveyed Rey. His eyes pierced her and she blushed and looked away.

“Turn around for me.”

She did. Her feet made scraping noises against the floor, her arms stuck out awkwardly, all the while spinning slowly on the spot. She could feel his gaze drinking in the sight of her, every curve, every inch. Her body was stiff and her face was the colour of a lobster when she faced him again. He nodded, a smile creeping over his face. Kylo walked towards her yet veered off at last second, his hands curling around her old, comfortable, filthy clothes and flinging them into the fire. Rey gasped, unable to stop herself. Kylo looked sharply at her and she looked away. 

His hand was at her shoulder, his fingers curling around it, a familiar jolt coursing through her. She met his eyes and his flicked between hers, searching. Did he feel this too? She sighed, relaxing her face and he stilled. They stared at one another, their breath slow and in sync. Rey’s heart thumped painfully against her chest. He straightened, nodded towards the serving girl, tightened his grip on her shoulder, and pulled Rey out of the room. 

As soon as they exited, he released her and stalked down the corridor. Rey shrugged her shoulder and jogged after him. 

“K-Kylo,” she began.

He stopped dead in his tracks so she nearly walked into him and stared at her.

“What is this?” She pointed to her bandaged eye.

“Turmeric paste,” He answered, curtly, resuming his walk. “It’ll reduce the pain and inflammation and will accelerate the process of wound healing.”

“How long do I have to keep it on for?”

“5 days for your face, between 5 and 10 for your arms and leg depending.” 

She nodded and followed him in silence for the rest of the walk. He stopped by a door and pushed it open, waiting for her to enter first. She peeked around the door and saw a kitchen. 

A wooden table with a plate of food and a cup of wine sat centre of the room. Kylo gestured for Rey to sit and she did, falling upon the food. As she bit into the fruit, the juices trickled down her chin and she closed her eyes, savouring the scent, the taste, the sensation. When she opened them she saw Kylo looking at her, his expression hungry. She swallowed and ate slower, more observant of each bite, each flavour that met her tongue. The chicken was herbed, the vegetables slightly overdone, but she ate them with a passion. 

Kylo didn’t move from the spot, didn’t join her, despite her offers, but watched her every movement. Rey could feel his eyes on her, caressing her almost. She swallowed the final mouthful and pushed the plate away slightly. 

“Do you want more?”

Rey shook her head slightly and Kylo nodded. She cocked her head to the side.

“Why did you leave me in there overnight?”

“I wanted to be sure it was what you wanted.”

“I said it was.”

“I don’t know you.” He gestured for her to stand. She remained sat.

“So what are you doing with me then?”

“I don’t know.” He admitted.

“What do you want from me?”

The air stilled, soft, delicate, dangerous. He swallowed and shifted, looking away from her, his face reddening. She waited. She was prepared to head back to the cell and work out an escape plan. He mumbled something.

“What?”

He sighed and stared at the ceiling.

“Companionship.”

She blinked. Her heart swelled and her resolved softened. She greeted loneliness like an old friend and it seemed he did too.

She stood and went over to him. As always, he stood to the side to allow her to go past first. He was still the colour of a beetroot and looking away from her. As she passed, he breathed in deeply and murmured under his breath. She ignored him, despite the way her body reacted to him, and once more followed him to another small room. This one had a wooden bed and a small table with a candle holder on it. A small square window looks out over the garden. 

Rey's eyes pricked with tears, her breath hitching in her chest as a lump began to form in her throat. A room of her own. She went to the window, stood on tiptoe, and looked out. It was a sea of green with the odd flower dotted across it, and the sun's rays were warm against her skin, even from here. She closed her eyes and relished in the beams across her face. She fumbled with the edge of the window, searching for a latch, for a way to open it, to breathe in the scent of grass, flower, and sunshine. She found it in the centre, unhooked it, and pushed it open, taking a deep breath. 

The scent of the earth hit her and she laughed, basking in it. For that moment, life is glorious. She heard a cough and stepped down, turning to Kylo. A ghost of a smile danced across his features. Rey swallowed.

“Thank you.” Her voice cracked, but this time she didn’t mind. 

Kylo stepped into the room, her room, filling up space with his physical presence. Rey swallowed again, her mouth turning dry. She felt a flutter in her stomach as he approached. He came towards her, so close she could feel his heat, see his moles, see the nervousness in his eyes. She breathed heavily and her palms wet with sweat. Her eyes go to his lips and when she flicked them back to his, she sees his looking at her mouth also. Unconsciously, she licked her lips and he gasped, softly, almost silent. He shut his face down and pivoted past her, to the corner. 

“This panel,” he knocked it and it opened with ease, “leads to my chambers. When the sun goes down, come straight to them. Understand?”

She nodded and smiled at him. He did not return it but shut the panel with a harsh bang.

“You may decorate the room how you wish, but nothing to do with your… views.” His mouth curled. Rey nodded. A wave flooded through her.

“May I go into the garden?”

He paused, his jaw clenching. She waited, letting him fight this battle within. His face twitched and his hands clenched and unclenched. 

“Eventually.” He ended on. She felt the lump return but nodded and swallowed. Kylo moved to exit the room. He paused at the doorway, his back muscles rippling under his garments. Rey tore her eyes away and stared at the wall, heat rising within her.

“I look forward to seeing you.” He spoke so softly she had to strain her ears to hear him. 

“Me too.” 

He made a sound between a chuckle and a scoff, and left her alone in her room. Rey let herself relax, yawning and stretching. She pulled off her clothes and sank into bed. It was hard, and the cloths were rough against her skin, but still she drifted off to a dreamless sleep that her body longed for. 

When she awoke the sun had turned the once blue sky a fantastic light red. Rey, wrapped in her blanket, dragged her little table over the windowsill and sat atop it. The evenings' soft breeze stroked her face and played with her hair as she opened her window, drinking in the smells and sight of dusk. Her stomach grumbled and her head felt dull, yet she ignored them to watch the sunset. Watched as the sky turned from red to pink to a muddy purple, the sun sinking all the while. As it traveled below the trees, the branches become engulfed in red, glowing ominously. Rey shivered and wound her blanket tighter around herself. The purple grew deeper, fading into black. The first star came out to say hello. 

Rey smiled, pressed her fingertips to her lips, and sent her kiss out to the lonely star. 

She slipped back into her gown, running a hand through her hair, made her bed, and lit the candle on her bedside with the fire steel and tinderbox upon the windowsill. She transferred the flame of the char cloth to her candle, ensuring to extinguish the flame on the cloth before placing it back in the tinder box with the fire steel. Crossing the room, she tapped the panel as Kylo had done earlier. It opened and she slipped into the corridor, shutting it behind her. 

Despite the flame, the corridor was dark. Placing one foot in front of the next and extending her hand holding the candle was her safest option, she decided and did just that. After a few minutes past, she spotted a door at the end of the corridor, its outline illuminated by the light on the other side. Her pace quickened as did her heart. 

The door was warm against her palm and heavy as she pushed. She peeked around the door and saw Kylo, sitting at a table, writing. Despite his bandage covering most of his face, she could still see deep purple curves under his eyes and bruising around his nose and jaw. Her stomach flipped at the sight. She cleared her throat as she shut the door. He glanced up and stood hastily, knocking the desk and his papers and pen upon the floor.

“Fuck.” He spat, bending down to pick them up.

Rey placed her candle down on another table and went to help him. She bent down and picked up a piece of paper. Kylos head snapped towards her and he snatched the paper from her grasp, knocking into her so she fell onto the wooden floor. She gasped and winced as her body slammed into the wood, fresh bruises blossoming over her old ones. 

Snatching what remained of her dignity, she stood and surveyed his chambers. It was the largest room she had ever seen. It had shiny wooden floors, and wooden panels outlined the bottom of the walls. The walls themselves were varied; one was covered in windows, two were plain and one had a large tapestry on it. It told the story of Hercules; from when he was an infant and pure, to being cursed by Hera and causing death and destruction, his realisation and working towards becoming a better person. She frowned when she realised his death was not woven into the tapestry. Perhaps there was no room, given the rest expanded across the entire wall. 

A large four-posted bed was against one wall, tables on either side of it. Other than Kylo’s desk and chair, there is a bookcase, a table with two stools covered in food and a wine decanter with glasses, and several ornaments scattered around. Rey stretched out her hand to touch against an ebony bust of a handsome man with a pained expression upon his carved face. He had a similarity to Kylo that she could not put her finger on.

“So,” Kylo's voice brought her back to the situation at hand. She straightened and turned to him. 

“What do you want?” She asked, keeping a quaver out of her voice. He swallowed, his eyes roaming her body. 

“Take off your clothes.” 


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: speculation of violence and non-con (Nothing happens, it is simply speculated about)
> 
> If you would like to skip over this mention, the start of the paragraph is:  
>  _He inhaled, drawing backward, half turning away from her._
> 
> Then end of the paragraph is:  
>  _however, bound by the confinements of her injuries and clothing, he would swiftly overpower her._
> 
> CW: mention of death (Nothing happens, it is simply mentioned)
> 
> If you would like to skip over this mention, the start of the paragraph is:  
>  _She edged away from the door._
> 
> Then end of the paragraph is:  
>  _fumbling with the small material and cursing slightly._
> 
> Enjoy! 🥰

“Take off your clothes.”

Rey gulped. His eyes did not waver. Her hands went to the lacing at the back, her fingers curling around the fabric before going still. A hint of a scowl entered his features. 

She straightened.

“Only if you do.” 

He inhaled, drawing backward, half turning away from her. She fought to stay still, not to swallow, not to blink, not to shift. Just be. Her heart fluttered in her chest and the feel of nausea rose to her throat. He could easily call his knights to come in and tear her clothes off her. Or fight her himself. Before her injuries, she reckoned she’d give him a fair fight; however, bound by the confinements of her injuries and clothing, he would swiftly overpower her. 

She saw his hand open a drawer on his desk, which he stared into. His eyes glistened in the flame and his breathing quickened. Rey opened her mouth as if to speak, not entirely sure what she would say; before she could figure it out, however, when he shut the drawer and his face snapped up to hers, determination sweeping over his features.

Rey swallowed and braced herself. He crossed around the desk, coming within a few feet of her. She grounded her feet down into the floor. He reached up and pulled his one-shoulder cape off, allowing it to crumple upon the floor. Rey swallowed and slipped her hands under her dress to pull her hosen off. She saw Kylo’s eyes darting to her legs, following her hands as they moved down her legs and abandoned the hosen on the floor. His tongue swept over his lips so they glistened in the light. 

He swallowed and undid the buttons on his doublet, revealing his white linen shirt. Rey swallowed and fought not to stare as he peeled it from his body. The white shirt underneath was loose, yet still hinted at his muscular chest. Rey’s stomach clenched and she breathed out of her nose. She fiddled with the sleeves of her dress, unhooking them and laying them on the floor.

Kylo was breathing heavily, his chest moving underneath his shirt as he bent down and pulled off his shoes, his trousers dangling down by his ankles. His movements were clumsy, awkward. Rey pulled her dress up and over her head so she only stood in her bodice and chemise. Kylo’s eyes widened as they swept over her body. His breath became audible; he was almost panting. He twisted his body slightly, bending over, pulling at his trousers. 

“Um, are you okay?” She asked as he writhed in front of her. 

He ignored her and ran towards the door in the corner, to his bathroom she assumed. He slammed the door shut. Rey stood still, her fingers gripping the lace on her bodice. Was she supposed to remove it before he came out of the bathroom? 

She crossed the room and stood outside the door. She could hear shuffling, panting and groans coming from the room. She knocked delicately.

“Are you okay?” She repeated. “Uh, should I continue?”

“No.” A strangled cry came from the room. “Get away.”

She edged away from the door and retrieved her clothes. As she slipped her gown back on, the groaning became louder from the room, added with a choking sound like he was trying to stop from making the noise. She opened her mouth to call out once more but stopped herself. If he needed help, he could ask for it. Plus, what did she care if he choked and died? Then she could escape. She could dress in his clothes, take his sword, and run back to base. She’d have to cut his clothes down to her size first of course. She shook her head and laughed as she reattached her sleeves, fumbling with the small material and cursing slightly. 

She sat upon the edge of his bed to slid her hosen back upon her legs. As she was tugging them over her thighs she heard the door swing open. She lurched to her feet, took a few steps and stumbled, the hosen restricting the movement of her legs, the ground rushing towards her face. She closed her eyes and felt an arm encircle her waist, pulling her backward. Her back hit his chest, her feet dangling. She could feel his heart pounding, quickening. His breath was hot and strained in her ear. She clung to his arm which had lifted her as though she was a doll, her hands wrapping around his muscles. He seemed to press his nose into her hair and inhale but she didn’t turn to check. She inhaled herself, smelling yew and the floral scent once more and something else, something salty. Being held by him was like being wrapped in a warm blanket on winters night.

He placed her upon the floor, paused whilst she found her bearings, and then released her, and she could have sworn his hand lingered on her skin. As he stepped away from her, she found herself missing the warmth of him, the support. She hastily shook her head and adjusted her hair. 

“Do you want anything to eat?” 

She made no answer but her stomach rumbled at the mention of food. The corner of his mouth quirked and she nodded. He gestured to the table with food and followed as she sat on one, taking his place opposite her. He picked up a plate, filled it with a piece of everything; buttered bread, fish, spinach, cheese, grapes. He put it down in front of her. He next picked up the bowl and ladled some onion soup into it, placed a spoon in it, and put that next to her plate. Then he poured her some wine, the red liquid flowing into her cup. She sat stoically throughout, waiting for the moment where he’d snatch the plate back. 

He stared at her when he’d finished and she had not made a move. 

“Eat.” He ordered, making up his plate. Her hand shook as she raised a grape to her mouth and popped it inside. 

“Now, chew and swallow.” He continued, pouring his soup into the bowl. She rolled her eyes but followed his instructions. Once she swallowed, he was digging into his meal. When she hesitated to move again, he rolled his eyes and shoved her plate towards her. She began to eat, slowly at first and then with enthusiasm. 

Her eyes would flicker to him as she’d stretch put her hand to get more food from the spread, but he never stopped her. He didn’t acknowledge her movements either, simply ate in silence. She made no effort for conversation either, so the only sounds heard were their chewing and swallows and rustling. Rey was relaxed in her chair, eating at a steady pace. The food was warm and filling, the wine made her smiles wider, giggles escaping. Kylo twitched when one did and his ears went red. Her heart fluttered when he made eye contact with her, his eyes piercing into her. Heat spread over her body, causing her stomach to clench and her thighs to press together. Colour flooded her face and she brought her attention back to her food, avoiding his gaze. 

She finished her soup, noticing a small drop upon her thumb. She stuck it into mouth, sucking off theremnants. She glanced up at Kylo who was frozen, his mouth open. She stared at him, confusion engulfing her face, her thumb leaving her mouth with a pop. He snapped away from her, staring at his plate, squirming slightly, his face reddening. He took a series of deep breaths and appeared to be pushing his legs, growling softly as he did. 

“Erm, are you okay?”

“Fine.” He snapped, crossing his legs. He shoved a piece of bread into his mouth, chewing furiously and not looking at her. _Jesus, he’s acting weird._ Rey shrugged and continued her own meal. She tried to avoid noticing how his ears were a flaming red, or how his chest was heaving, or his constant squirming as he crossed and re-crossed his legs. _Maybe he’s nervous about eating food with an enemy._ She nodded to herself as she picked at her grapes. That was it. The more he ate and did not look at her, the more he stilled and calmed, until he set his utensils down. 

Once they could not eat anymore he stood, relit her candle in the holder, and help opened the secret door to for her, all the while not making any eye contact with her. As she took the candle, their fingers interlaced. His skin burnt her in a delicious way, making her body stir. She flushed and made to exit, but his hand circled and held on to hers.He looked at her for the first time, his eyes catching the candlelight, making them shimmer.

“When you wake, go to the kitchen. Then at the end of the day, come here again.”

She nodded. He released her and closed the door behind her softly. 


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you being patient with this update; I took a break due to what has been happening this week. [Here are some ways you can help](https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/#)  
> CW: violence, threats of death and suicidal thoughts (they are not acted upon)
> 
> If you would like to skip over the mention of **violence** , the start of the section is:  
>  _She felt hands seize her and begin to pull,_
> 
> Then end of the section is:  
>  _Then just as quickly as it started, it was over._
> 
> If you would like to skip over the mention of **threats of death** , the start of the section is:  
>  _“You should be grateful that’s all you got.” She hissed._
> 
> Then end of the section is:  
>  _Rey returned to her work._
> 
> If you would like to skip over the mention of **suicidal thoughts** , the start of the mention is:  
>  _Time edged by and sped all at once._
> 
> Then end of the paragraph is:  
>  _She felt an arm grip and she jerked away from them._
> 
> Enjoy and stay safe ❤️

Rey’s head began to throb as soon as she’d opened her eyes, her arms felt itchy but she knew better than to touch them. She rubbed her covered eye slightly, desperate for relief that did not come. She sighed and sat up, stretching and yawning. 

Sunlight poured through her window, half blinding her. She carefully got dressed, wincing slightly as she pulled her sleeves over her arms and then headed to the kitchen. 

The kitchen was alive; bustling with people at cooking stations, each surface covered with food and utensils, some maids stood giggling by the table where she had eaten yesterday, snacking on strips of bacon. Rey cleared her throat and felt everybody’s eyes turn to her.

“Who are you, girl?” A tall blond woman barked. If her face did not carry a constant revolted expression, she could have been pretty.

“I’m Rey. Kylo told me to come here.” 

This statement caused a ripple of whispers around the room. Rey felt her face turning red.

“Quiet! Get back to work. You,” the woman pointed at Rey. “Get changed into that,” she pointed at a white uniform on a countertop. “And then get scrubbing.” 

Rey picked up the uniform and made to leave the room but found her way blocked by the bacon-eating maids.

“Where are you going?” One sneered. “She said change.” 

“I am going to change.” Rey took a step towards her. She was shorter than Rey but her eyes glinted, her head cocking, her lip curling. The rest of the maids flagged behind her in a bundle, blocking the doorway. Had she been stronger, Rey would’ve simply shoved past them. But her arms ached, and so did her head; she’d be demolished. So she turned away from them, stiffly. 

She tried to slide the uniform underneath her green gown as much as she could, to preserve her dignity. She could hear sniggering but ignored them. She wrapped her gown up and shoved it into the corner before she tied her apron strings and adjusted the cap upon her head. When dressed, the tall blonde lady sniffed at her. She seized Rey’s arms, squeezing so Rey hissed as pain shot through her. She tied her wrists together, the rope biting into her chafed skin. Rey bit back a complaint and arranged her features into a blank expression.

“They’ll be no funny business from you.” The lady warned, shoving her backward into the counter with the dirty wooden pots. “Now scrub them clean.”

Rey located the scrubbing brush and the bar of soap. She rubbed the soap bar against the dirt in the bowl, filled it with water from another bucket by her side, and rubbed the scrubbing brush over the spot. Between her bandaged arms and the bound wrists, she struggled to find an effective angle. She grunted as she swung the brush back and forth over the wood. The bowl shook and twisted away from her. Rey cursed softly, hating the blonde lady more by the second. She couldn’t hold the bowl steady or scrub effectively, making her work slower. 

The bowl spun away and the maid next to her caught it. Rey looked up, surprised. Brown eyes met her hazel ones. 

“Hey,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

The maid nodded and smiled softly at her, before turning back to her own station.

“Thank you for looking after me yesterday,” Rey breathed. The girl flicked her head in a tiny nod but otherwise made no show of deviating from her task. 

Rey struggled on, occasionally lifting her leg to catch the bowl and push it back onto the countertop. By her third bowl, she had discovered a rhythm and settled into listening to the conversations around her to see if they had any news of her friends. 

“I don’t get why he’s said _she_ can be here,” one voice said. “She’s a traitor.”

“A criminal.”

“Yes, but someone has to clean the dirt, and rather her than me.”

“You don’t think…”

“What?”

“Think about what?”

“Spit it out, Albreda!”

“That he _likes_ her, do you?”

“Ew, no.”

“No! Albreda, how could you say such a thing?”

“Well, no other prisoners have entered Phasma’s kitchen.”

“Even if he did, what can he do?”

“Yes, Kira would chop his knob off.”

“He’s about to be married to the granddaughter of the most powerful man in the country, why would he throw it away for _her?”_

At the mention of marriage Rey’s hands slipped. The bowl clattered the floor, spraying soapy water and sending exclamations into the air. She paid them no heed. _Married?_ What was he doing with her then? Fun? One last hurrah? Practicing for his wife? She felt bile rising up her throat, tasting it in her mouth. She gripped the countertop, swaying, heaving. She tried to blink, to breathe, to feel the ground beneath her feet but both evaded her. She could feel her skin crawling, burning her. She wanted to rip it off, rip off every section he had touched and toss them into the fire. 

She felt hands seize her and begin to pull, she tried to swipe at them, pulling back, but there were too many and she was still weak. She shook her head, focusing upon her captors, and recognised some of the girls who had blocked the door earlier. She snarled at them and snapped her teeth. They forced her to bend over the table. She tried to shake them off, shouting at them, but they overpowered her. They pinned her down by her arms, one on each. Their nail dug into her, poking through the bandages to her skin. One girl was half lying upon her back, with the last pressing her face into the wood. Rey couldn’t breathe; she thrashed against their hold but they were strong as a unit and kept her down. The final girl’s hand was on her head, pressing it into the wood. Before her face met it, however, Rey managed to shift her face so she had some access to air. The hard course wood pressed into her cheek. 

The girl upon her black shifted and Rey took a deep breath, relishing in her freedom. 

“Open her dress.” The lady she now knew to be Phasma, spoke.

She saw the girl cross to the counter and pick up a knife. Rey squirmed slightly, trying to break free. The other girls simply tightened their grips. One undid her apron. Another yanked her cap off, tearing at her hair as they did. She heard the knife cut through her gown, slicing through it like water. They hacked at her bodice, slicing through that material also. They tore her partlet from her neck, the material pulling at the skin with a burn due to the force of the movement. The knife scraped along her spine, teasing her, cool against her flesh. Rey fought to stay still. She could feel the cool morning air skimming over her back, goosebumps rising over her flesh. 

Out of her line of vision she heard shuffling. Everybody seemed to be holding their breath.

“One for each second you left that bowl on the ground. So five altogether.” Phasma said.

“And five for being a traitor.” A voice spoke up. It was the voice of the girl who had blocked her earlier. Rey gritted her teeth and vowed to strike her when she was able to. 

She tensed and then tried to relax as she heard the air change. She closed her eyes, gritted her teen, and concentrated on not breaking down by reciting the names of her friends. 

The lashing started immediately. One, two, three - in quick succession.

_Leia. Han. Luke._

Four, five, six. Thick and fast. Covering her entire back, leaving no point uninjured. With each blow, her skin softened and the pain grew and grew to the point that her whole back felt like it was on fire.

_Poe. Rose. Kaydel._

Phasma seemed to slow for seven, pacing around Rey, finding a spot she hadn’t touched yet. When it did come the pain was unbearable. Rey summoned all her control not to move. She had never felt anything like it before, and she prayed that she would never feel anything like it again.

_Holdo._

Post seven, she lost count because of the pain, but someone else was counting each stroke out loud in a gleeful tone. 

_That bitch._ She thought vaguely before refocusing upon her friends. _Paige._

Determined not to make a sound and lie perfectly still, Rey bit her tongue and screwed her eyes shut as the whip hit her again. She would leave this room with her dignity intact. Her clothes were getting caught in the movements, sticking into her wounds, the fabric brushing against them. She scrunched up her face to stop the building scream. 

_Cova. Teza._

The last two strokes were agony. Her body felt on fire, she could feel blood pouring out of her back, taste it in her mouth, her arms throbbed. She could hear laughter from the onlookers. She thought she was going to pass out. 

Then just as quickly as it started, it was over. The hands released her. She staggered to her feet and felt someone cover her with a blanket. 

“Jannah, get away from her.” Phasma ordered her. Rey hazily focused upon the girl who had bathed her yesterday and helped her earlier. _Jannah._ She tried to smile, but Jannah walked away from her. 

Other hands pushed her back to her station, shoved the bowl and brush back into her hands. Phasma barked at everyone to return to work. Rey blindly held the scrubbing brush and put it inside the bowl which had caused all this pain. 

She couldn’t feel anything. She couldn’t see hear anything. Nothing was in focus. Her thoughts buzzed around her head like flies, zooming away before she could catch them. Her body felt numb, not her own. She saw her arm moving yet felt no connection. She sluggishly thought that this was her body's way of protecting her but the thought passed away like the others. 

Time edged by and sped all at once. Rey could feel people shift around her but made no acknowledgment. Part of her longed to walk out of the room, but where would she go? She was on enemy territory wherever she went. _Go to Kylo_ _,_ a voice whispered, but she shoved it away. He was getting married. He was using her, as everybody did at some point in her life. Least she was getting proper food and hot baths out of it. She began to laugh. She was sleeping with the enemy for food and baths– nobody would want her back now. She might as well climb to the tallest tower in this godforsaken castle and jump off. 

Everyone would be better off if she did. 

She felt an arm grip and she jerked away from them. Their hold did not relinquish but the bitch girls' face swam into view. Rey scowled. 

“You should be grateful that’s all you got.” She hissed. “We should chop your head off, and boil it in a pan, and give you to the dogs. Yet,” Her nails dug into Rey’s arms, scratching at her slightly. Rey bit her tongue, giving her no reaction. “Kylo has ordered us not to. I don’t know what you did to him, _witch,_ but you better watch your back.” With that, she flounced off, flanked by the rest of the maids. Rey returned to her work.

Phasma came over and pulled the bowl and brush out of her hands. “Your work is done for now. Get out.” She shoved Rey’s green gown in her arms and dragged her towards the door leading to the garden. Kylo had said for her not to go into the garden, but she allowed the woman to push her into it. _Plausible deniability._

Rey stumbled outside, the sunlight blinding her. All around sat various people, eating, relaxing. Reys stomach grumbled but she ignored it, pulling the blanket around herself tighter as she started to follow the wall round. Hopefully, she’d find a servant's door to enter and then go to her room. Her back was on fire, affecting her posture. She winced at every movement. She leaned against the wall as she made her way around the stone circle, desperate for a door. 

As she rounded, a soldier walked into her. Rey retreated backward, dropping her eyes. She bit her tongue to stop herself from crying out as her movement tore at her back. He cleared his throat.

“Sorry, I,” he faltered. “I’m Finn.”

She glanced up. He was smiling, his eyes were kind. He was holding a white bundle. She nodded, swallowing. She stood on the balls of her feet, ready to run if needed, her back be damned. Adrenaline would carry her through the pain. 

“Rey.”

“I know, I just… We heard what happened, and I’m sorry. Phasma is horrible and I admire you for standing by your beliefs.” 

Reys’ jaw dropped. Finn looked away, the tips of his ears turning red

“Here.” He held the bundle out. Rey took it and unwrapped it slightly. Food. Fresh and warm. She stared at him. He made a shhh gesture and walked on, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze as he passed her. Tears filled her eyes. She retied the bundle, tucked it under one arm, and slid in the next door she saw. 

After many twists and turns, she reached her room. She pushed her little table in front of the door, lay on her bed, and ate the food Finn had given her. She tried to eat slowly, to savour it, but her hunger won. She filled her mouth and nearly choked a few times. She could hear the sounds of people and animals outside but paid them no heed. 

Once she swallowed the last crumb, she lay on her front on her bed and cried. She bit into her pillow so her screams did not carry. Her whole body shook and her breath faltered as she wept. 

A knock sounded at her door. She wiped her face upon her pillow.

“Open.” Kylos' deep voice came through the door.

Rey stood, pulling the blanket around her body, wincing as it hit her wounds. She shoved the table away and pulled the door open for him. He stepped inside, a thunderous expression upon his face. Rey lifted her chin, aware her face was red and shiny. He paused as he took in the sight of her, then he kicked the door shut behind him.

“Did you cause trouble in the kitchen?” He demanded. She shrugged. “Answer me.” 

His hands shot out and gripped her shoulders. Rey grimacedas he did and tried to move away from him. He held on, his finger clenching around the blanket. She pushed him.

“Get off me.” She pulled herself backward. He kept a hold of the blanket, pulling it from her body as she moved. Rey's dress slipped and she clung to it; hugging it to her chest to as not to expose herself. Kylo glanced down at the blood-stained blanket and froze. His expression softened. Rey swallowed, her eyes pricking with tears. He slowly walked around her and inhaled sharply when he saw her back. 

Rey let her tears fall now he wasn’t looking at her. She felt his fingertips brush one of her marks and cried out. He snatched his hand away. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. ‘Why?”

“Because I’m a traitor…. And I dropped a bowl.” She added. He was silent. She felt him wind the blanket back around her, careful not to let it press into her back. 

“I’ll fetch Jannah.” He came back round to face her. “You’re not going back to the kitchens.”

“But I-”

“You’re not going back to the kitchens.” He repeated, his voice firmer. She nodded. 

“Thank you.”

He nodded and a flash of confusion crossed his face. He stretched out and wiped one of her tears with his thumb. He gazed at it upon his skin and then at her. Rey stayed still, her eyes flickering over his face. He closed down and went to the door.

“Are you getting married?” She blurted out. “To Kira Palpatine?”

He paused, his hand on the latch. “Yes.”

A charged silence fell between them. Questions burned on the tip of her tongue. If he was marrying her, why did he need companionship? Why was he risking his reputation for her, his enemy? Was this all some elaborate scheme to wear her down so she’d betray her friends or did he genuinely want to spend time with her? She clenched the blanket, her knuckles turning white. His hand next to his side was shaking, his body heaving, his breath engulfing the silence. 

“Congratulations.” _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

He left without a word or backward glance. 


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank all of you enough for the overwhelming support this story has gotten so far! It means the world to me. Thank you ❤️ I'd love to know your thoughts on this latest chapter!
> 
> If you ever want me to tag something, please let me know in the comments or DM me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kylosgal) or [tumblr](https://kylosgal.tumblr.com). It is honestly no trouble and I'm always happy to do so. I never want anyone to be upset or triggered through my lack of tagging, so don't be afraid to reach out and tell me ❤️

She closed the panel door softly. He was at his desk, scribbling away, running a hand through his hair. Rey wondered how soft, how thick his hair would feel between her fingers. Probably like textured silk. She cleared her throat and he stood, not knocking the table this time. He gestured to the table, once more filled with food and drink. Rey smiled and sat at her chair. He had left a blanket upon the back of it and she wrapped it over her shoulders, crossing it across her body so only her head and hands were visible. His eyes lit up at this sight, and the candlelight brought out the golden specks in his eyes. A small smile danced across his lips. She blushed slightly and they began to eat. Once again he poured her wine and served her soup, but she fetched her him food for his plate this time. 

“How’s your back?”

She swallowed her date. “It’s okay. Stings. Jannah looked after me.”

“Will it scar?”

She shrugged. “Jannah says if we keep using the ointment every day, it’ll fade and heal. We just have to hope it doesn’t become infected.”

He nodded and sipped his wine. Rey paused her piece of chicken halfway to her mouth.

“You removed your bandage.” 

He gave a small smirk. “Observant.”

“You said five days. It’s only been three.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“You shouldn’t! You may end up with complications. Not being able to breathe properly, or blood in your septum, or a hole or the bridge of your nose could collapse-”

“I’ll tell you what.” He interrupted. “You can keep an eye on it for me and I’ll let you know if anything changes. And if it does,” he continued as she opened her mouth. “You can say I told you so and take me to the court physician.” He held out his hand.

She took it on her own. His hand enveloped hers, soft and coarse in equal measure. He had a firm grip as they shook once. They loosened their grip, but did not let go of one another. Rey met his eyes, which were dark. His hand trembled slightly, and she stroked her thumb across his skin in slow circles. He let out a breath and focused his eyes on hers. Looking at him was like looking at the sun; blinding, warm, dazzling, dangerous. Her breath hitched and she felt heat spreading over her body. She took a deep breath and snatched her hand away, looking down at her plate. No matter how he helped her, fed her, clothed her, he was her enemy and she would do well to remember. 

“Where did you grow up?” 

“Painswick.” She mumbled into her brie. 

“And your parents?” He prompted. 

She shook her head. “Abandoned.” 

“Sorry.” 

She grimaced. “Don’t be. Least I’d never be taken for ransom money.”

“What happened to you?”

“I became a ward of the town. They handed me off to Unkar Plutt, a trader in town, and I collected stuff for him in exchange for a room and food.” She shrugged, taking a bite of pork. “Could’ve been worse.”

He fell silent, chewing on his food and gazing at her. She flushed and kept her eyes level with her plate. 

“I grew up in Carisbrooke.” He offered. She snorted slightly.

“At the castle? What a hardship.”

He stopped eating, his entire demeanour becoming dark. Rey sat very still, adrenaline coursing through her veins as his fury crashed over the atmosphere like a wave in a storm. 

“At least you knew where you stood with your parents, even if they didn’t want you.” He seethed, his anger twisting his face into something terrible. Guilt twisted her insides and she forced herself to met his eyes. Surprise flicked in his before he pressed on, his body seemingly becoming taller and wider as he rose from seat. “Mine were physically there, yes, but they didn’t want me around. Too busy running things.”

Without thinking, she stretched out a hand and lay her fingertips against the back of his clenched fist. He blanched but stopped, looking down at her hand on his. She couldn't see his face yet she saw how his body fluttered, felt his hand shudder as he turned it over their palms connected.She could hear her blood rushing in her ears, feel her heart pounding against her ribcage, her knees shaking. Time was an illusion that engulfed them as they connected. 

Kylo broke it first; pulling his hand away and wrapping it around his cup of wine, his knuckles turning white. He raised the cup to his lips and drinking its contents in one smooth movement, his face a careful mask of blankness. 

“They sent me away to my uncles' monastery when I was ten,” he continued, his voice low with an edge. “That’s how much they cared about me.”

“Are they her-”

“No.” He stood, undoing his doublet as he walked, and tossed it on the chair behind his desk.

He stood by the foot of his bed, waiting for her. 

Rey swallowed her mouthful, took a sip of wine herself, and went to him. 

He clenched his jaw and pulled his shoes off. She did not move. He scowled and pulled his doublet off, throwing it onto his bed. He closed the gap between them, his hands stretched out, curling around the blanket she was holding. His eyes met hers and she gave a small nod. His face relaxed a fraction and eased the blanket from her body. 

Kylo went to his knees, his hands resting upon her shins. His face was level with her chest and she saw his eye skim over her front, his lips curling inwards, his ears going red. His eyes met hers as he slid his hands upwards, hooking his thumbs around the waistband of her hosen. He paused again and she nodded. He pulled it down, offering her his shoulder to lean on as she lifted her feet to allow him to slide them off her body. 

He stayed on his knees in front of her, breathing heavily. Rey's legs shook slightly, her heart pounding. She placed her hands upon his shoulders and pulled him up. He followed her movement smoothly, eventually looming over her. His eyes were wide and wild. Unable to reach his shoulders whilst he stood to his full height, her hands had slid to his elbows. She paused, her eyes finding his. A glimmer of fear lay in them. 

She moved her hands to his chest. She could feel his heart hammering beneath his skin. He felt solid, strong. _Safe_. She flinched at the word and he misread it. He wound his arms around her and held her in an embrace. He rested his chin against the top of her head, his body moulding around hers. Rey froze, her body clenched. Kylo began to sway gently, humming to himself. Rey closed her eyes, and allowed the rocking sensation to relax her. She shifted her arms from between their torsos and gradually wound them around his waist. They did not touch in the middle and she smiled slightly. The smell of yew and the floral scent was filling her nose. He squeezed her and her heart swelled in her chest. 

She moved her hands to the hem of his shirt and lifted a fraction. He inhaled sharply, his chest heaving but nodded. She lifted his top, rising to her tiptoes, grateful when he stopped and manipulated his body so she could pull it off. She discarded it carelessly into the room and gazed at him. His pale skin was littered with old scars and bruises, each a different colour. Her heart fell within her chest as she drank in the sight. He gazed at her like an animal about to dart away from a predator. She smiled reassuringly at him and moved closer, her eyes roaming his body. He was handsome - devastatingly so. Something awoke within her; something deep, burning, coiling around her insides. 

His fingers deftly undid the sleeve of her gown and then lifted it from her body. Rey shivered as the cool night air hit her bare skin, only her chemise left. She faced him, trembling as his eyes swept over her. His hands went to the waistband of his trousers, and her eyes widened as she saw they were no longer flat. Redness engulfed his neck and his face, yet he didn’t hesitate from pulling his trousers off his body, leaving him in his braies. Although the white fabric hung loosely from his body, she could still see the outline of him. She flushed, her breath catching, and looked at her feet. 

Rey felt his hand tuck under her chin and raised her eyes back to his. They were dark and full of hunger. She saw him look at her lips, and looked at his. They were plump and pink, and she wondered how they’d feel against hers. Soft and delicate like the crook of her elbow? Or firm and unyielding like the back of her hand? 

His hand moved from her chin down her neck and slid the strap of her chemise off, exposing her shoulder. His fingers traced her collarbones to her other sleeve, pushing it off as well. The chemise slipped to just above her breasts. She could hear him breathing, and felt her own breath quiver as his hand rested over her heart. It jumped wildly in answer, thrashing like a hummingbird. 

He shifted closer to her; she could feel his warm breath. His fingertips danced over her skin, scorching her, brushing against the swell of her breast. Her knees nearly buckled. She felt light-headed, and the heat within her was scalding her. He needed to put it out. She needed him to put it out. 

Her hand found its way to his waistband and pulled the string. He jumped, but made no move to stop the material as it sliding down his legs and getting caught on his member. Rey watched in open curiosity as he pulled it upwards, out of the way of his sliding braies, and kick them from his body. She had never seen one up close before. It was longer than she expected, thicker too. It was pulsating slightly. She reached out and ran her fingertips over the tip, retracted her hand when he hissed. 

“Sorry,” she whispered. He shook his head, his words coming out like he was being strangled.

“No, that's nice.” 

Emboldened, she stretched out her hand once more and wrapped it around the tip. Hearing his moan, a soft grin crept over her face. She gently squeezed it, and he made a soft choking sound. She ran her hand down his length and back up, softly, slowly, smoothly. He made low noises all the while. She looked up at him. His eyes were closed, his mouth open slightly, a look of wonder and bliss upon his features. She did the movement again, watching as the veins in his neck popped slightly. 

“Is that nice?” 

He opened his eyes lazily and grinned.

“Very.” 

Rey tightened her grip, enjoying as he sighed and moved her hand a tad faster up and down his length. As she ran her thumb over the tip, feeling the wetness against her skin, he swayed slightly and put a hand against a pillar on his bed. She lifted her wet thumb and stuck it into her mouth, curiosity getting the better of her. It was a semi-thick liquid, salty, sticky. She looked at Kylo, who was heaving, his knees were trembling slightly and she felt a flame ignite within her. 

She curled her hand around his member and began to move it up and down, building a rhythm that she played with, increasing and decreasing her pressure as she went. She twisted her hand, running her thumb over the tip once again. He trembled slightly, his hand turning white against the pillar.

“Is that nice?”

“It’s all nice.” He breathed. She continued her movements.

“Am I doing this right?”

“Yes.”

“It is supposed to move like that, all twitchy?”

He chuckled. “Yes.” 

“Is this boring becau-”

“Rey.” 

She started, her jaw dropping, her body jerking. Her name sounded like music upon his lips. She didn't know her name could sound like that. He pressed a finger of his spare hand against her lips. 

“It’s amazing, and not boring at all. If you’re doing something wrong, I’ll stop you. Okay?”

She nodded. His finger drew downwards, causing her bottom lip to curl outwards, wetting his finger. He took a deep breath as this happened and closed his eyes. His hand came to rest on the back of her neck, his fingertips playing with her hair. Rey began to pump her hand, twisting. She gripped tightly around the base and as she twisted upwards, her grip became softer until the tip was merely a whisper between their skin. She went faster, each movement rewarding her with a groan from his chest. Her shoulder and wrist were beginning to ache and she shifted her weight from foot to foot. Her grip tightened and he bit his lip, sighing. 

She stopped as Kylo began to shake, his face screwed up. Rey began to pull away. His other hand caught hers and held it to him, still moving it up and down. She continued the movement after this hand had fallen away and covered his face, muffling his groans. He twitched in her hand and white liquid shot out of him. Rey lurched backward, watching as it landed on her chemise. His member bobbed as it dribbled out, covering the floor in shiny translucent liquid. Kylo was making a choking sound, low and rumbling. When the liquid had stopped coming out and his member was hanging between his legs, he moved his hand and looked at her. His eyes shrouded with arousal **.**

Rey flushed and avoided touching the liquid on her chemise. 

“Thank you.” His voice was hoarse.

“Thank you.” She responded and then looked away. _Stupid._ He stepped over the wet floor and took her hand in his. He raised it to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his lips brushing against them like the wings of a butterfly. He closed his eyes and kissed the back of her hand, his lips were soft and firm against her skin. Then he turned her hand so her palm was open and laid his face in it, breathing in her scent. He pressed his lips to the centre and closed her hand up. 

She let her fist fall to her side, her knuckles turning white. 

He straightened and took the hem of her chemise in his hands. She lifted her arms, fist still closed, as he lifted the chemise over her head. 

The cool air hit her skin; good bumps rose and her nipples hardened. She went to cross her arms over her breasts but Kylo caught her hands in his and placed them by her sides instead. 

“Please don’t hide yourself.” His eyes swept over his body, lingering. He stroked her hair framing her face, the back of his fingers caressing her cheek. His thumb brushed over her injured eye, closing the lid. 

He began to circle her. His hand touched the bandages on her left arm, leaving a hot imprint upon her arm. He forced when he reached her back, an audible exhale leaving his mouth. Rey screwed up her eyes, determined not to cry. She hadn’t cried at the event, so why would his viewing it make her cry? She swallowed the lump in her throat, focusing on her breathing. She felt his fingertips touch the whips marks. He was shaking, she realised, as he skimmed over her back. He was making a choking sound again, softer than when she had been touching him. She wanted to turn to face him but remained rooted to the spot. 

As he came round to the front, he sank onto his knees, his hand holding gently onto there other bandaged arm, his head ducked. He stroked her leg where the man had bit her and then pressed his lips over the bandage. He then kissed the identical uninjured spot on her other leg. Sniffling was coming from him, and her heart wilted as he stood and she saw his eyes shining. He turned away from her, picking up his clothes from the bed. 

“Wait here.” 

Before she could respond, he marched into his bathroom. She remained rooted to the spot. Her mouth was dry, and she ran her tongue over her teeth to generate saliva. Her hair was sticking to her neck; she wound it up into her hand and held it above her head, focusing on her breath. She could hear thudding and crashes coming from the bathroom, accompanied by the odd yell or muffled scream. 

She crossed the room, her feet sliding slightly upon the wood and knocked at the door. The sounds and movements stopped.

“Are you okay?” 

The door swung open. He stood, dressed in his clothes again. His hair was dishevelled, his face red, his chest heaving. He pushed past her, heading for his desk. Rey scowled. 

“Answer me.” she demanded. His brown eyes flicked to her and back down to the draw he had opened.

“Yes.” He spat. “I’m okay.” 

“Liar.” 

The room froze. She stopped breathing, hardly daring to believe that word had left her lips. Wordlessly, his blank expression back in place, he lifted his hand from the draw. He was holding a deep blue and white bundle of clothing. He laid them out of the bed. Rey gasped slightly. There was a new black chemise, a new white partlet, new white hosen, a new white bodice, and a deep blue gown. It was a square neckline, the edge outlined with pearls. The torso of the dress was primarily a triangle, the tip reaching below the waistline. The inside was silver and littered with pastel flowers; pink, green, purple, yellow, each with a jewel in the centre. The sleeves had puffy shoulders and then tightened around the elbow to the wrist. A line of silver wound around the edge of the skirt. A headband of flowers matching her dress lay there too. 

He picked up the black chemise and held it out for her, not looking her in the eye. She took it and slid it over her body. It fit her like a glove. 

“I had this made for you. If it is not to your taste, I can get it altered.” He spoke stiffly, not looking at her. 

“I love it.” She reached out and touched his hand. He made no movement back yet did not jerk away from her as he once had. 

“I’ve got other colours coming so you won’t just be wearing this all the time.” 

“Thank you.” Her voice cracked and tears threatened. She wiped them away with the back of her free hand. “What are they for?”

“Kira wants to meet you. And to do that you must be dressed appropriately.”

She felt her breath quicken, her chest heaving. Her confusion was clearly readable upon her face as Kylo squeezed her shoulder.

“You took me down in the heat of battle and had to be restrained by seven people. She-” He caught himself, rearranging his features into a blank slate. He tied the dress and accessories into a neat pile and held it out for her, not meeting her eyes. She took it and followed him to the panel door. 

Before he opened it, he paused and turned to face her. His face was still a blank mask yet she saw his lower lip tremble, the muscles in his jaw clenching to stop it. She could almost see the cogs of his mind whirling beneath the surface, battling something deep within. Without a word, he took her hand in his and kissed her palm once more, before stepping to one side to she could go through the tunnel. As she passed him, Rey raised herself onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips on to his cheek. He flinched away from her touch.

The sound of the door banging shut echoed in her ears as she made her way down the corridor. 

Back at her room, she pulled her chemise off, placing it on the little table along with the clothes he had bestowed to her. As she kept her hand clasped, her movements were slow, clumsy. with a grin of triumph she clambered into her bed, blowing out her candle and sank into the mattress.

She opened her clenched fist, and pressed the spot where he had placed his lips to hers.


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to [Punky](https://twitter.com/PunkyAo3) for the wonderful moodboard! And to everyone who has commented, bookmarked, recommended, and left kudos— I love you all!
> 
> CW: subtle physical and mental abuse from Snoke towards Kylo throughout the first half of the chapter. Please be advised and stay safe.

“Ren!” 

Kylo was yanked from his wandering thoughts of the previous night by his leaders' bark. He straightened in his seat, shoving the thought of Rey from his mind's eye; her smile, her spatter of freckles on her right thigh, her smooth skin, the way her hand shook when it passed over his skin. He swallowed, blinking roughly and placing both gloved palms upon the table, anchoring himself to the present. 

“Yes?”

“Were you listening, boy?” Snoke’s lip curled. Kylo fought to keep the blush off his face in front of the war council. He crossed his legs against his body's reaction to his thoughts, grateful for the solid wooden table between everybody’s gaze and his lower half. He felt Snoke’s foot cover his own and press downwards. He pressed his hands to the tabletop to stop them from shaking and swallowed.

“Yes, of course.” He leaned backward so his head came to rest against the smooth wood, the picture of nonchalance. “Scouts saw the small band of rebels heading this way. Around a week out.”

“No doubt for the girl.” Hux snorted.

“Where does she reside now?” Snoke’s eyes blazed. Not for the first time, Kylo wondered who had told his master he had moved Rey from the dungeon. The idea of it being one of his knights made his stomach turn. He forced himself to turn slowly, carefully arranging his face to not betray the depth of his growing emotions. He met Snoke’s eyes; they were full of interest, predatory. The ghost of a smirk playing at Snoke’s lips let him know his attempts were futile. A cold sweat broke out all over his body, his clothes sticking to him. He struggled not to shift under his master's gaze. 

“Kira is taking her as a handmaiden.” 

A chuckle rippled around the room. 

“Don’t know who I’m worried for more, our princess or our little rebel.” Kuruk grinned. 

“So long as the rebel doesn’t get her hands on a knife, Kira will be fine.” Trudgen brushed Kuru’s comment aside. 

“I don’t think a lack of knife would stop her from cutting the princess down if given the chance.” Ushar flashed an unsettling smile, baring his teeth.

“I’d pay to watch a princess and a rebel have a showdown.” Ap’lek’s eyes glinted. 

“Next Thursday works for me.” Cardo volunteered. All aside Hux, Snoke, and Kylo laughed. Kylo felt his body begin to shake, his breath quicken, rage blinding him. He began to rise from his seat. A sharp pain from a kick met his shin, pausing his movements. Snoke’s eyes were boring into him. He resumed his seat, his body already tense against the punishment he would receive. 

“What do you think, Kylo?”

Kylo swallowed. “I don’t doubt her at all.” 

Every eyebrow raised, a few smirked, but none asked him to elaborate which ‘her’ he referred to. He wasn’t even sure himself. His mind knew he must present a united front with his fiancee, Kira, and heaven knew she could cut someone down to size. Yet...

...a tiny voice, deep within himself, whispered _Rey._

“Supreme Leader?”

“I have no doubt princess Kira will work in tandem with our Prince to tame the girl and make her useful for our side. In time for the wedding in five weeks.”

With these words, the atmosphere altered within the room. Everybody’s spines straightened and noise turned to silence. Snoke’s foot remained upon Kylos, a dull weight reminding him of the true power in the room. _You are but a pawn._

“The coronation will be the following week, at which point we should have eradicated this rebellion. General Hux, how is our military plan proceeding?”

“We are still developing it, Supreme Leader. The consensus is to overthrow and exhaust them.”

“That won’t work.” Cardo interrupted. 

Ushar snorted. “All we have to do is keep attacking until they're exhausted and overwhelmed by constant raiding warfare and the weight of numbers.”

Hux nodded, a smirk settling over his face. He began to point at the map of England which consumed the table at which they sat. “We can start raiding and harassment, here-” his hand landed on Essex, “and eventual sieging.”

“What about the band making its way here?” Vicrul drawled. Hux waved his hand like he was batting a fly.

“We’ll defeat them. They won’t breach the castle walls. Then we should-”

“We aren’t impenetrable.” Kylo interrupted. Hux glared at him, and Snoke’s heel dug into his foot. He fought off his flinch and continued. “If they’re clever, we could eventually succumb to starvation or an assault using battering rams, catapults, and mining. And they are clever. We have to prepare for all eventualities, from their defeats to ours.” 

“Sieges are slow and painful,” Trudgen warned. “We should start prepping our food stock.” 

“It is substantially easier to defend a fortified position than to attack one.” Ap’lek fiddled with a miniature solider from the map. “We occupy a defensible place and thus have an advantage.”

“Over the next week, we need to place emphasis on our defensive fortifications, siegecraft, armoured cavalry, and food stocks,” Kylo ordered. “The rebels may have scaling ladders; battering rams; siege towers and various types of catapults that we should be prepared for if we are under forced under siege. I’m confident this won’t be the case, however.”

“Well said, my boy.” 

The word 'boy' set smirks off on each of his knight faces, as well as Hux's. Kylo fought to keep himself from blushing and clenched his jaw. _Boy._ The ever-constant fury settled deep with his bones flickered awake.

Snoke lifted his heel a fraction and placed a hand upon the back of Kylos' chair. The hairs on his neck bristled. “All of you, except you,” he pointed a gnarly finger at Hux. “shall hunt these rebels down and kill them. You,” his finger remained on Hux. “Continue developing civilian and military technologies. That is all for today. Get back to training.”

Being given their orders, all began to filter from the room, leaving Kylo alone with his master. Snoke relinquished his hold on Kylos' foot and stood. Kylo got out of his chair and sank to one knee, as per his want when they were alone. He felt Snoke run the back of his gnarled hand against his cheek, tucking under this chin and raising his eye line to his master's face. 

“How is the taming our guest proceeding?”

His recent memories of Rey scanned through his brain; her fury at their initial meeting, her unbridled joy at her own space, the tilted of her head, curiosity sparkling in her eyes as she asked him about his past, her chest heaving as he ran his hand over her bare skin, her tears sparkling yet not falling within her hazel eyes. He snapped himself back to the present moment as Snoke’s face inched closer.

“It is going well, master.”

Like a flash of lightning, Snoke’s hand curled under his jaw, his thumb and index finger pressing at the point just underneath his jaw, the rest curled around his throat. Kylo could still breathe yet not open his mouth more than a centimetre. Panic initially rose within him, the urge to grip Snoke’s wrist and yank him from his hold. _I deserve this._ The thought calmed him, the panic ebbing away like the tide.

“Do you think you can tame her?”

He swallowed. “Yes.” 

“Be sure before you speak, Ren.” Snoke leered over him. “If she is as powerful as you say, she could prove useful. If not, it’s the gallows.” His hand momentarily tightened around Kylos' throat, a second of white-hot fear flashed through his veins before he released him with a shove. 

He got to his feet, bowing to Snoke, who dismissed him with a flick of his hand. 

As he walked to the training room, Kylo’s mind drifted to the last fight he’d had. Rey. Her confidence, her control, her ferocious movements, her innate, raw power. His heart twisted. He’d never be comfortable in his skin to achieve that validity with a weapon. He flexed his sword hand. He was good, yes. The best in this castle, until she came along. His stomach fluttered, a lump formed in his throat, his breath constricted and he felt tears threaten. He swallowed and sped up to the training room, ducking his face downwards to avoid stares from passersby. 

His knights were scattered about the training room. It was a spacious grey stoned room. Whilst the room was a rectangle, with rows of various weapons lining the long walls, a large circle made of black plaster lay in the centre; the fighting ring. The wall opposite the large wooden doors, sat two large windows, overlooking the courtyard. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, lit only in the evenings. Training dummies were stationed around the area.

Every type of weapon was within these walls; swords, lances, spears, axes, mace, crossbows, longbows, daggers, clubs, and caltrops. All organised by their weaponry group and then size. Daggers lead to swords, longbows lead to crossbows. Kylos' heart ordinarily soared at the sight of this room, yet today he felt frustrated by it. He seized a dummy and the first sword he laid his palm to. He dragged it to the fighting circle and hacked at the figure with a blind ferocity.

 _Useless. Lazy. Inadequate. Untalented. Weak. WEAK._

He imagined each word was written upon the figure and drove his weapon into each of them over and over until the dummy lay in shreds upon the floor and he was panting and sweating. 

_Useless. Lazy. Inadequate. Untalented. Weak._

He turned to his knights who watched him with trepidation. _Good._ He straightened, his hand clutching the slick hilt of the sword. 

“I want Rey in here.” He announced to the room. 

He heard scoffs as the knights absorbed the news and gritted his teeth. 

“No.” Ushar was first to speak. 

“The more the merrier.” Kuruk countered. 

“That’s dangerous, Kylo. You heard Snoke.” Trudgen warned.

“I heard Snoke and I want her here. She’s the only one who can beat me and I need that challenge.”

“The only one, huh?” He swung his sword, spinning it in his hand, the picture of nonchalance. 

“We need to focus on the real war, not you play at swords so you can impress the girl who wets your dick.” Vicrul snarled, his hand wrapping around a spear. He met Kylo’s eyes, boring into them. Kylo did not move. 

“I need her.” He insisted. 

“Let us put it to a vote.” Cardo volunteers. “Those in favour?”

Ap'lek, Kuruk, and Trudgen raised their hands. Kylo joined them. Cardo shook his head and pointed his weapon at him.

“You don’t count. You’re biased. Those against?”

Cardo, Ushar, and Vicrul raised their hands. Kylo sighed. 

“You’ll have to duel it out,” Ap’lek said. All four stared at him. He shrugged. “How else are you going to decide? If Kylo beats you all, he gets his girl. If he doesn’t, she never sets foot in this room. The first one to hit the other loses.” 

They all nodded and shook hands before forming a circle with their weapons. 

Vicrul raised his scythe. 

Ushar's hands curled around his club. 

Cardo gripped his spear.

Kylo’s hands grasped his sword, turning it slowly; his right just below the crossguard, his left by the pommel and lifted the weapon. 

They began. 

Vicrul swung his scythe at Kylo’s feet. Kylo jumped over Vicrul’s whistling blade, slammed the hilt of this sword into Vicrul’s chest, fended him off, thrust, aiming for his cheek. Vicrul dodged, throwing himself back to avoid Kylos attack. He misjudged the movement and fell onto his back. Kylo leaped at him and pointed his sword at his opponent's neck. Vicrul released his weapons and held his hands up in surrender. 

Ushar stepped forward and swung his club. Kylo jumped backward, losing his footing momentarily. He regained his balance and slashed the club with a short blow of his sword. He sprang back at once but slipped. He landed, his heels digging into the floor and struck again with his sword, two-handed, the blade moving smoothly and easily. It hit the club and pieces of wood splintered from it. Ushar stared at his club and, using this second, Kylo rapped his sword across his hand, slicing open the skin. Ushar scowled, but dropped his weapon. 

Cardio stepped forward. Kylo resisted the surge to wipe his brow. He parried the first blow with his sword and instinctively protected himself from the second by raising his left arm. The pair began to dance. They leaped, spun, struck; once, twice, thrice, a rapid rhythm. Kylo cut from above with his sword and immediately swung it left, meeting Cardos’ attack with a flat blow. Kylo did not disturb the rhythm; he parried, leaped back, and once again circled, forcing Cardo to move. Cardo hissed. 

Kylo stopped and pretended to stumble, his hand becoming slack around his weapon. Cardo leaped forward and struck with a simple flick of the wrist. At last second, Kylo shot forward, spun, deflected the blow, bending his wrist and throwing Cardo backward with the momentum of the parry and slashing him across his left cheek the tip of his blade. Cardo staggered and clutched his face. Kylo held his blade to his neck. Cardo’s eyes darkened, yet he dropped his weapon and held his hands up. 

Kylo dropped his and all three shook his stretched gloved hand. They turned to Ap’elk, breathless and sweaty. Kylo tried to hold his glee within but could not stop the grin spreading across his face. 

Ap’lek smirked. 

“Looks like we’ve got another joining our company.”


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dear readers, for all the encouraging comments, kudos and bookmarks! I'm so happy that you're taking this journey with me! 
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter, and please do comment if so moved! The motivation is highly appreciated (and needed)! ❤

Kylo had to hold himself back from running to Rey’s quarters. His heart was near bursting from his chest. He had won. He had shown them. His shoulders went back, his chest outwards, a little swagger added to his walk. He smirked at one maid whose jaw fell open at the sight of it before she collected herself and stood aside to let him pass. 

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to slow, to wipe his face, to walk with caution. It did not do well to dwell on Rey in public. He focused upon his breath and his feet upon the floor; heel, toe, heel, toe, heel, toe until he stood outside her door. Only then did he allow his smile to break and his body to quiver with excitement. He flung the door open to catch Rey scrambling to her feet, clinging to her blanket. Her shoulders dropped and she smiled when she recognised him and bit back a giggle. 

He held out her new training clothes of black trousers, a loose grey tunic and some light chainmail, if she desired. She accepted them with a quizzical look. 

“Put these on under your dress. We leave in five.”

She nodded and laid them on her table. She began to drop her blanket before side-eyeing him. He blushed, his goosebumps erupting over his skin, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. 

“If I-I wait out there, it’ll look sus- suspicious. So I- I have to wait h-here.” He explained. She stared at him. “I’ll turn around.” He added hastily, facing the door. 

He could hear her shuffling around and the soft thud of clothing hitting the floor. His abdomen clenched and he felt his body beginning to stir. He took a deep breath and began to study the wood of the door. _Pine? Oak? Walnut? It is dark_ _,_ _so oak and walnut are more likely._ He heard Rey curse slightly and swallowed. He pressed his palm against the wooden door, focusing on the roughness under his skin. He turned his head a fraction, so he could see her out of the corner of his eye. She had her bare back to him; her shoulder muscles rippling under her skin as she began to pull the tunic over her head. His heart began to pick up pace, his mouth becoming dry. He snapped back to the door and pressed his hands against the wood, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself to think of something, _anything_ , other than the attractive near-naked girl a few steps away from him. He’d seen her naked before but this felt different. More intimate somehow. She coughed and he turned. 

Rey was smiling, at ease in the traditionally male clothing. She grinned at him and wiggled her body, her excitement bursting out of her, like sunshine from behind a cloud. His own face relaxed into a smile as he watched her in her element. She slipped her dress and shoes back on and followed him as he began to walk to the training room. 

They took the passage to his room, yet without a candle, he used the wall to be his guide. He heard Rey stumble and curse and without thinking, stretched out, found her hand and wound it in his. Her hand was delicate, and so much smaller than his own. He couldn’t tell if the sweating palm was his or hers, yet they remained clasped. He felt warmth spread through him, like a hot drink on a winter's day. He felt he could have said anything in that moment, and she would have accepted whatever secret left his lips. _Safe._ He flinched at the word and she misread it; she squeezed his hand in a show of support and comfort. His stomach dropped as his adjusted eyes saw his door. He wished the darkness and tunnel would last forever.

Once inside his room, he released her hand and moved swiftly away from her. _Stupid. As if she would accept me as anything less than her enemy._ He thought he saw hurt flicker across her face as he moved away from her, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. _Now you’re imagining things. Great._

A swift look outside saw the corridor was empty and they hurried to the training room. If she was wondering why they were tearing down each corridor and had to wait whilst Kylo checked the next one, she made no comment but followed him like his personal shadow. They made no physical contact the rest of the journey and he found himself missing her warmth. He shoved the thought away, and his feet met the stone beneath his shoes a tad harder than usual. 

He enjoyed watching her pupils widen and her jaw drop slightly at the sight of the training room. The knights stood warily within the room but she paid them no heed. She went straight to the swords and brushed a hand along them. She picked up a rapier and slashed through the air, delight bubbling out of her mouth as she spun. Kylo fought back his own smile at her movements. She was not smooth or refined, yet she swung the sword with a raw fluidity and comfort he had not seen within this room. Each of the rest of the room, merely used their weapons as a means to attack or to hit certain poses, never for the sheer joy of being at one with a weapon. 

She was stopped by Ap’lek, who moved in front of her. She grazed his arm as she spun and then snatched the blade away. 

“I could’ve hurt you!” She scolded. Kylo couldn’t stop his own smirk. 

Ap’lek chuckled. “What else are you trained in?”

She frowned. “I’m not trained in anything.”

Ap’lek gestured around the room and to his fellow knights. “We’re all trained on each of these, with a speciality of our own. You say you’re not trained in anything, yet _you_ bested _him.”_ He pointed to Kylo, who felt his chest tighten and his ears grow hot. “Let us see how good you are on each.” 

Rey shifted her weight, her feet pointing towards Kylo. She glared at him, her lips pressed together, her eyes wide. He went to her, careful not to touch her and they walked to the circle in the middle of the room. He introduced the knights one by one, gesturing as he went, alongside their weapon. 

“Ap’lek, axe. Kuruk, archery. Vicrul, scythe. Cardo, spear. Trudgen, cleaver. Ushar, club.”

“And you?” She peeked up at him. 

“Sword.”

“But you seem to be a strong contender to take that title away from him.” Kuruk quipped. Kylo scowled at him, yet his heart soared as he heard Rey giggle next to him. 

“What do you want to do first?” 

Rey cast her eyes about the room. “Spear.” 

Cardo stepped forward, grimacing. Rey ignored him and picked up a spear, tossing it between her hands experimentally. The rest stood back to give them the floor. 

“Lets see if you can take down us too.” Cardo picked up a spear also, his gaze fixed on Rey. She straightened and beckoned him over. They shook hands, each looking like they were trying to crush the others hand.

Kylo stepped in before they could. “Okay, Rey will try each weapon, and first to make contact with the weapon wins.” Both nodded at him and took a stance; Rey defensive, Cardo attack. 

“Ten on Cardo.” Vicrul whispered. 

“You’re on.” Kylo muttered as he watched a darkness cross over Rey’s features. She twisted her body, like a tiger before it pounces. Cardo growled yet she gave no response except to smile at him, her teeth glinting. Kylo smiled. 

Cardo jabbed and Rey danced out of his reach. She gripped her spear with both hands, spinning it and whacking him clean in the jaw. The knight's jaws dropped and Kylo snickered. Cardo looked dazed himself yet recovered to drop his weapon in admission and held out his hand. Rey dropped her own spear and shook his hand, a triumphant smile spreading over her features. 

Cardo came to join the rest of the knights, grumbling. Rey replaced both their abandoned spears and then picked up an axe, weighing it in her hands. She looked up. Ap’lek walked forward, collecting his own axe, grinning. Rey’s eyes met Kylos. He nodded and stepped into the fight space. 

“Throw it at the mark. One closest to the middle wins.” _I’d rather not let either behead the other when I need them both._ _Want._ _Need as in strategic. Not like need, just… oh god._

The pair lined up parallel, a few feet apart. They raised the axes above their heads. Kylo saw Rey’s arms shaking with the effort, how she narrowed her eyes, how her face scrunched in concentration. His stomach flipped. 

“Go.”

They both threw. 

Ap’lek’s landed with a dull thud in the centre. Reys landed a few inches short on the target itself. She sighed and turned to Ap’lek, holding out her hand. He took it in his own and lifted it to his lips. Kylo lurched forward, fire erupting within him. He caught himself before he had taken a step. The rest of the knights glanced at him and he straightened, arranging his face to a mask. He could see Rey’s pink cheeks, her soft smile, her eyes moving to the floor. He swallowed, fighting for composure. The knot in his chest tightened. Rey looked at him, her eyes bright. He bit back a snarl as Ap’lek came back into line.

“Next.” He spat.

Rey blinked and turned away from him but not before he caught her look of hurt. A lump entered his throat. S _tupid, idiot, worthless, fool._

“That one.” She pointed towards the cleavers. Trudgen went to the bars holding them and plucked two off, tossing her one. She caught it by the tip of the handle, nearly slicing into her own leg as she did. 

Trudgen chuckled. “Careful, little girl.”

Rey ignored him, taking a better hold of the weapon, yet her ears were red, her eyes glinting in the light. 

“We’re throwing again.” Trudgen said, lining up. Rey nodded and took her place again. She scrunched her face once more and Kylo’s knot loosened slightly. They threw the cleavers. Trudges hit the centre and Rey’s, whilst actually meeting the target this time, veered off to the left. She and Trudgen shook hands, giving off the impression of trying to out-glare. Kylo cleared his throat and they extracted, reluctantly tearing their eyes from one another. 

Ushar took a step forward this time, running his eyes over Rey. Although he knew it was an assessment of her as a fighter, Kylo felt the fire grow a little darker as he did. She was his. He shook his head and forced himself to focus as Rey and Ushar stood opposite each other holding clubs. Rey was shifting her weight, trying to accommodate the feel of the weapon in her hands. Kylo’s fists clenched. They began. 

Ushar swung it, aiming for her knees. She jumped into the air and swung her own weapon. He leaned out of the way of her club and twisted out of her following jab. He lifted it and swung for her head. She ducked and tried to swing at him. Ushar spun out of her reach and sent his leg out as a kick, catching her square in the chest. Rey tumbled to the floor. Kylo gritted his teeth. Usher raised the club and swung it onto where Rey was on the floor. She rolled this way and that as he crashed his club into the floor over and over. 

Narrowly missing her head for the second time, Kylo’s hand clenched around his sword. He couldn't intervene. _But what if she gets injured? What if she gets crushed to death?_ He bounced on the balls of his feet, sweat breaking out over his forehead. 

Rey rolled out of the way of another strike, rocking onto the feet, into a low squat, stretching her free arm forward. She wrapped it around Ushar’s ankles and yanked. He fell, letting out a yell of surprise. Quick as a flash, Rey half stood from her squat and jabbed her club into his chest. Kylo let out his breath and slipped his hand from the hilt of his sword. Ushar growled but released his club, and accepted Rey’s hand to stand. They shook and he took his place, his scowl ached into his face. 

Kuruk walked forward, to the section holding the bows and arrows. He jerked his head at Rey.

“Over here, Countess.”

Kylo could see Rey’s confusion at the name and felt his own stir but pushed it aside as he watched Rey fumble with the bow and arrow, having several attempts to notch the arrow into the bow. He held his breath as she drew it back and released. It flew into the target, a few inches shy of the bullseye. She saw her shoulders sag but she valiantly accepted her defeat to Kuruk. As Kuruk repelled their weaponry, Vicrul stepped forward, smirking.

“Just us now, _Countess.”_ He sneered out the nickname bestowed upon her. Reys jaw clenched and she caught the scythe he threw at her. Vicrul spun his in his hands, an effortless display of skill and power as they faced one another. Rey’s knuckles turned white against the stem. 

“Ten on Kylo’s girl.” He heard Trudgen whisper. 

“You’re on.” Cardo murmured back.

“Quiet.” Kylo snapped. Silence descended as Vicrul spun and struck his scythe at Rey’s face. Rey leant back, the scythe passing over her head. 

Watching the sweat glistening upon her face, hearing her grunts of effort, Kylo felt envy twist at his gut. He had strutted about the castle, thinking himself the best fighter within its walls, yet here were his knights giving Rey a run for her money; pushing her, nearly beheading her at times, when he had easily fallen against her. 

_You gave her a run._ A voice whispered. He shoved it aside yet it returned. _You were caught off guard, Vicrul has been given time to prepare and watch her style. NO._ Another voice within him roared. He physically jerked away from it, yet it continued. _You’re weak and lazy_ _._ _Y_ _ou need to stop being such a disappointment to everyone_ _,_ _and actually train instead of waving your sword around like a child._ Kylo jerked his head once again, to bring him out of his thoughts and focus upon the fight. He bit down upon his tongue, tasting blood. The knights paid him no heed, yet he saw Rey note his shaking and look at him. Her momentary pause led to her knees being knocked from under her and her scythe to slip from her grasp. 

Vicrul stood over her, adjusted his weapon and swung it down, tip first onto where her head lay. Kylo’s hand grabbed his sword, unsheathed it and ran towards Vicrul. He felt hands grab the back of his clothes but his movements were a second too fast for them. Both hands gripping the hilt, his feet carrying him to the pair, he shifted his sword to his side, to swing under the scythe and block its movements. He saw Vicrul see him, causing him to slow his movements a second. Their eyes locked. Vicrul shifted himself forward to get to Rey faster, and Kylo twisted his torso to add extra weight to his deflect. 

_You’re too far away._ His mind screamed. He shook his head. He _had_ to be close enough to deflect it. He couldn’t watch her die. _It’s your fault if she does_ _._ _Y_ _ou distracted her_ _._ _Y_ _ou’re selfish and self-centred and rude and insolent._

Neither of them noticed Rey slip out from between Vicrul’s legs and throw herself at him. Vicrul yelled and dipped his weapon. Kylo swung his weapon at thin air and skidded to a halt, looking down. Rey was straddling Vicrul, her fist meeting his face with a sickening crunch. Her knees level with his ribcage, her feet were hooked around his upper thighs so he couldn’t easily swing his legs up and away from her. One hand curled around his neck, pinning him to the floor, the other, a closed fist, meeting his face for the second time. As she raised it again for the third strike, Kylo saw blood covered her knuckles. 

Vicrul seemed to awake and shot his own hand out, grabbed her throat and squeezed. Rey gagged, her body going slack, and this gave him the momentum to sit up and attempt to shove her off. She clung on, joining her hand to his throat and squeezing. He yanked at her hair yet, she did not relinquish her hold. Vicrul’s thumbs went to her eyes. 

Kylo dropped his sword and wrapped his arms around Rey’s waist, pulling her away from Vicrul. The rest of the knights had caught them and were helping to separate the wrestling pair. Rey struggled against him, spitting at Vicrul whose arms were outstretched, spewing insults at her. 

“You traitorous bitch! You crazy churl!”

“You two-faced bastard! You skamelar!” She screamed back. Kylo struggled to hold on to her writhing form. Vicrul stopped moving, a dangerous smile spreading over his face. Kylo began to drag Rey towards the door before Vicrul could begin. 

“Least I know my place in all this. You’re a hedge-born traitorous whore who will offer out her cunt for a bed. No wonder nobody has come to rescue you.” His eyes moved to Kylo. His grip on Rey slacked slightly. He could feel her body vibrating with fury - or was that his? “And you’re the one who got her to agree and spread her legs, so hats off to you my friend. Shame you haven’t used it for our advantage in the war. Maybe you should pass her off to someone less weak who will break her.” 

Kylo was not aware of releasing Rey. His focus zeroed in on reaching Vicrul and ripping his tongue out. He vaguely felt Rey alongside him, running together towards the knights. He saw Ap’lek bundle Vicrul out of the way; towards the back of the room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kuruk lift Rey over his shoulder with a quick - “Come on, Countess.” - leaving him to deal with Cardo, Trudgen and Ushar. All three moved in sync to tackle him, barely restraint him as he kicked and struck them. 

They carried the pair of them outside and shut the door on them. Kylos chest was heaving, as was Rey’s. She rounded on him.

“I didn’t need your help. I _don’t_ need your help. Stop treating me like-”

He caught her arm, winding his hand around her bicep. 

“Not here. Come with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to alter Kuruk, Cardo and Trudgen's weapons as [multi-barreled custom-designed rifles ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kuruk), [arm cannon; laster blaster, bolt launcher, flamethrower](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cardo) and [ vibrocleavers ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Trudgen) did not, surprisingly, exist in the 1500s 😂
> 
> [ Churl ](https://www.bustle.com/articles/96756-12-medieval-ways-to-insult-people-because-you-are-being-such-a-cox-comb-lately): Peasant-like, coarse
> 
> [ Skamelar ](https://www.bustle.com/articles/96756-12-medieval-ways-to-insult-people-because-you-are-being-such-a-cox-comb-lately): Scrounger, parasite
> 
> [Hedge-born](https://www.bustle.com/articles/96756-12-medieval-ways-to-insult-people-because-you-are-being-such-a-cox-comb-lately): Low-born, illegitimate


	9. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HAMILTON DAY MY LOVES!!!! (disney+ released Hamilton and I've already driven my family mad by singing it constantly about my house) Come join the party on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kylosgal), alongside updates and meta regarding this story or just fangirling over various people, fictional and real, in general.
> 
> Thoughts on this chapter would be greatly appreciated. Kisses!

“Get your hand off me. Let go. Stop it.”

He ignored her as he pulled her into a side room and locked the door behind them. Fury was radiating off her in waves and she stood as though ready to tackle him. He felt himself shift to the defensive in response. 

“Why are we here? Let me out. I’m going back to my room.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why?” She started towards him, swiping at his face. He leaned out of her reach. She snarled and punched his stomach. He groaned and retched slightly yet caught her as she made to move past him. She shoved him, repeatedly, pounding upon his chest. He stood still and took it, sometimes dodging out of her way as she made to slap his face. She kicked his shin, making him wince. When he felt her slowing her attacks, he caught both her hands in his own, forcing her to stay still. She looked away from him, flushed. 

“Because if someone catches you wandering about the castle, you could get hurt or worse.” 

“Let them try.” She snarled, causing him to smile. She caught sight of this and rounded on him, with fresh venom. “Oh, and I guess _you_ think you’ll have to save me again, you-”

“Careful.” He warned, his own venom igniting within his veins. “I let you roam about the castle instead of letting you rot in a cell. ”

Cruel laughter burst from her lips. “Roam? _Roam?_ I have been ordered and escorted every step of the way in this bloody castle. And for what? To be beaten at every turn.”

“I never touched you.”

“We both know that’s a lie.” She flexed out her bandaged arms. He raised his head, the scar upon his face glinting in the light. Shame flooded through her veins, heat rising, redness spreading over her skin. Rey balled her hands into fists and leaned into her attack instincts. 

“Murderous snake!”

He smirked at her words. “You’ve got me down cold.”

“I know everything I need to know about you.”

“You do?” He gazed at her, watching her resolve crumble a fraction. “Ah, you do.”

“Put me back. I’ll rot in a cell before I come near you again.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“You’re promised to Kira. She doesn’t take well to being told she can’t have something.”

“I’m _not_ a _thing_ to be passed about-”

“I know.” He snapped. 

“Do you?” She marched up to him, her eyes ablaze. “Because it’s _all_ you do. We meet when you want to, we eat when you want to, we…” She stumbled and blushed. “We do everything when _you_ want to. You never ask me.”

“I’ve _never_ pressured you. Never commanded you.”

She laughed that cruel laugh again. It made his skin crawl. “You _haven’t?_ I’m surrounded by people who would happily lop my head off, you _must_ be aware of your reputation, I’ve been beaten and tortured and threatened and called despicable names. If our situations were reversed would you protest or argue?” 

“Yes.” He spat, but his voice had lost its rancour. In all honestly, he didn’t know what he would do. Fight his way out? Obey? _Sell out your master._ A nasty little voice whispered. He shook his head to stop it. 

“You’re a liar.” Rey hissed. “And a murderer.”

“So are you.” He snarled. He clenched his fists, aching to drive them into something. He saw the surprise flash across her face.

“E-excuse me?” She choked. He laughed; the same high, vicious sound she had made, stepping towards her. It made her shiver and shift backward, her body arching into the defensive. 

“What do you think someone who is driving their sword into someone and ending their life is called? Oh, yes, we were in battle, so it may not _count_ _._ But outside of it...” Her back had met the wall by this point and he continued, slithering towards her. “You’re a murderer too.” 

He could see all of her freckles littering her nose and cheeks, like constellations across the night sky. The scent of oranges and the gladiolus flower rippled off her, filling his nose with its intoxicating scent. Her eyes flickered across his face, lingering upon his lips before returning to his eyes. Despite the fear within them, they also contained a darkness he greeted like an old friend. 

“You’re just as bad as me.” He breathed, before he bent down and kissed her. 

Despite his vicious tone, his kiss was delicate against her lips. She froze for what seemed like an eternity, her mind racing at how he’d gone from bearing down at her like a wolf to kissing her with such tenderness. Before long, however, the sensation of the kiss overwhelmed her. 

_Like the crook of my elbow._

Rey lifted her shaking hands to his hair and wound the locks between her fingers. It was just like she’d imagined; textured silk. His scent of yew and the floral overcame her. She could feel his body, solid and steady, press into hers. She could not tell where the heat was coming from. She felt his hands rest upon her waist, curling around her slender frame, pulling her closer–– which she did not object to. His mouth was warm and soft, and gone far too soon. 

Their chests heaving, their foreheads rested upon one another.

“Was that your first kiss?” He breathed. She nodded a fraction. “Mine as well.” 

“Really? Not even Kira?” Her voice carried a bitter edge. Kylo’s fingertips stroked where they lay, sending shivers down her spine. 

“Not even Kira.” He confirmed as he kissed her once more. 

✥

“He only attacked when she was threatened with death?”

The knight nodded from his kneeling position. He craned his neck upwards to look at Snoke, who had begun to pace, his feet making next to no noise upon the wooden floor. As he turned around, he hastily brought his head back down. 

“Not when she was kissed?”

“No, my lord. He did react but made no move to stop him.”

“Interesting. You must keep exploring this.”

“Yes, my lord.” The knight hesitated before continuing “He’s… _feeling_ things he hasn’t before, so that is probably clouding his judgement.” 

“Yes.” Snoke paused. “He shall leave and Kira shall look after her. Hopefully, she will not fall for her _charms.”_

“I have the utmost faith in our princess, my lord.”

“As do I, my young knight, as do I. You may go.” He dismissed the night with a flick of his hand. The knight stood, bowed his head, and started towards the door.

“Oh, and do speak with him on the hunt.”

“Yes, my lord.” 

Snokes' mouth twisted into a cruel smile, which sent a chill running through his veins. 

✥

This, Kylo decided, must be what heaven was like. 

Rey's hands were stroking his hair, twirling his curls around her fingers. Her mouth was sweet against his, her body so responsive under his hands. She occasionally gave a sound between a sigh and a moan that made his stomach curl. 

Their teeth clashed together, their noses bumped, saliva occasionally covering their chins, but neither minded as they strove to find a rhythm and synchronicity between their mouths. They came to a silent agreement of finding equality within the kiss and thus fell into a sweet, fierce delirium. 

He could feel his hardness straining his trousers and tried to angle away from her in caseshe thought he meant for something else. Her words from before still echoed in a corner of his mind. Trying to shut them up, he bit her bottom lip, his body singing at her gasp. One of her hands snaked around the front of his clothing, bunching it in her hand. She pulled him closer, her hips meeting his. She shuddered as she felt him pressing into her and shifted her hips, making him growl. 

He pushed against her, pausing as she made a soft "ow" sound, yet could not stop his soft whine as she pulled her luscious mouth away. 

“My head, the wall…” She explained ruefully, placing her hands on his chest. He released her and stepped away, curbing his inner self which longed to pin her against the wall. They stood apart, chests heaving, looking at one another and then immediately away as the other met their eyes. Kylo was aware of his erection, straining against his trousers. He turned away from her, sitting down in a chair and folding his legs, forcing it to go down. He should feel Rey watching him, saw her cocking her head inquisitively, her barely contained giggle as he squirmed in his seat.

“That was, um, nice.” She spoke softly.

“Yes.” 

“What happens now?”

“Uh, we, uh, I, you,” He didn’t seem able to speak proper sentences anymore. He shook his head, closing his eyes. “I’m leaving tonight, so you don’t have to come to my chambers for the next following nights.”

“Where are you going?”

He hesitated, his eyes fluttering open to look at her, knowing his next words would throw them back into the fire. 

“There’s a small rebel band heading this way.”

She froze, her expression caught between joy and trepidation. Her jaw trembled yet her eyes blazed. She swallowed and nodded, pressing her lips together, turning from him to look out the window.

“Where do I go? What should I do?” She said, her voice calm and low. Pity stabbed his heart. 

“You’ll go to Kira. Now.” 

Rey nodded and pressed her eyelids together, forcing her tears back in. 

_No wonder nobody has come to rescue you._

_They have!_ She wanted to hunt Vicrul down and scream those words in his face. To gloat, to run, to dance. They hadn’t abandoned her. 

_But you’re about to hunt them down and I cannot warn them._ She wanted to cry, to drive her fist through this glass window, to climb from it and run from the castle. She wanted to turn to the man behind her, the one who was so soft and caring and vicious and cruel; to strike him, to kiss him. She wanted to feel his blood under her fingernails, to feel his body vibrate from his growl. 

She did none of these things. 

She squared her shoulders and faced Kylo. He was standing now, awaiting her. She lifted her chin. 

“Let’s go.”

✥

As Rey made the finishing touches to her gown, the silver and pastel flowers glittering in the light, her thoughts wandered to the infamous Kira.

_Kira would chop his knob off._

Although the memory made her giggle, it also made her chest tighten. If she carried the reputation of being willing to harm her fiancé for stepping out of line, how would she react to a known rebel? 

_You took me down in the heat of battle and had to be restrained by seven people. She-_

What had he been about to say? That Kira was more than a match? That she wasn’t? That he’d help her? If Kira attacked her, where would he stand? He’d protected her against the kitchen wenches and his knights, but would he stand against his fiancee? 

The questions faded to a background hum as Kylo entered the room. Rey smiled shyly at him. She held the ornate gown under her hands, an alien yet comfortable clothing. She watched as his face relaxed and he burst into laughter. 

“You’re headband is upside down.” He got out between his laughs, reaching for it and fixing it on her head. He smiled when he did and looked down at her scowling and flushed face. “It’s cute.” His face slipped into a panic. “Refreshing. That you, you don’t know how to dress- I mean, you can _dress -_ obviously - that you-”

“Let’s just go.” Rey shoved past him and put the door. The first time she’d been dressed up, like a lady, had felt pretty, perhaps even beautiful, and he’d laughed. She wanted to rip the stupid headband off her head and change back into her battle attire. _That would be more appropriate for this meeting._

They walked in silence to Kira’s chambers. Kylo’s hand brushed against her lower back but she’d speed up her pace, away from his touch. She thought she saw hurt flicker across his face as she moved away from him, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. _Now you’re imagining things. Great._

Once outside her door, Kylo stopped. Rey turned to him.

“Are you not coming in too?”

“I’m not permitted. She only wants you.”

“Oh.” Rey’s breath shook, her face crinkled, her hands gripped her skirts so her knuckles turned white. Kylo’s hands wrapped around her shoulders.

“Look at me.” 

She did. He looked steady, strong. His eyes were clear and warm as they gazed into hers. He matched her breath and then guided her to a slower, steady pace. 

“Just think, you’ve kissed me and she hasn’t.”

Rey laughed. “Right. I’ll lead with that.”

He smiled and leaned forward a fraction, tilting his head, waiting. Rey smiled and leaned forward also. He swooped and kissed her cheek, his lips soft and warm, his hands squeezing her shoulders before he released her and walked away, not looking back. 

Rey stood to her full height; shoulders back, chin lifted, mask carefully in place. _I’ve fought bigger and badder things than some spoilt princess._ She opened the door.

The room was a large square; the walls were hung with apple-green damask bordered with a wide gold stripe. The various velvet-covered sofa was arranged in a semi-circle, with a jewellery cabinet in one corner and a musicians corner in the other. Large windows with seating areas meant a copious amount of sunlight streamed in, the heat filling the room. A fireplace lay to the left, untouched. Bookcases lay to the right, filled with volumes Rey could not read. The ladies from the kitchen were occupying the seats, whether that be on sofas orwindow sills. All snapped their heads to her direction as she stepped into the room. 

Kira stood in the centre of it all, dressed a gown of red and black, glittering with jewels. Reys' breath stopped as she surveyed the other woman. _We could be twins._ She wasn’t sure if the thought comforted or horrified her. She was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful.

Kira’s dress was by far the grandest Rey had ever set eyes on. Her dress was red with a black diamond in the centre, falling from her neckline, in at her slender waist, and out at the skirt once more. The black and red were separated by a line of garnet, glittering in the light. The black itself was littered with amethyst and peridots. The sleeves fell to her elbows, falling into trumpets, revealing the black inside. Rey watched as her loose wavy hair moved delicately as she walked towards Rey, breaking into a smile that reached her hazel eyes. 

“So you're the one everybody's talking about.” Kira purred, a soft giggle rising to her lips. Rey’s breath still hadn’t returned. Kira placed a hand upon her arm, a delicate touch, leaning forward, her honey-scented breath flittered across Rey's face as she leaned in, her hazel eyes wide and glittering.

“We’re going to be the best of friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you caught the Heather and Nightmare Before Christmas references, you have outstanding taste.


	10. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for being patient with this update! I'm heartbroken over Naya Riveras death and needed a few days to process it... I'm still grieving to be honest but I'm in a better mental state. 
> 
> In happier news, we surpassed 200 kudos!! Thank you for every comment, kudos, bookmark and hit on this; they all mean the absolute world to me 🥰
> 
> CW: Talk of war, fighting, death, self-hatred throughout. Please be advised and take care 💗
> 
> If you would like to skip over the mention of **death** , the start of the section is:  
>  _Her head pounded. She tasted vomit in her mouth and the scent of blood and dirt surrounded her._
> 
> Then end of the section is:  
>  _one word echoed in her mind._
> 
> _I will add a summary of the events at the end of this chapter 💗_

Kaydel Ko Connix had just about had enough. 

Enough of her friends whining when they couldn’t find more than berries to eat, enough of the root digging into her back when she tried to sleep, enough of crawling under floors and forest to hide from the first order, enough of now knowing if the next door they knocked at to ask for shelter and food was a rebel sympathiser or not. But most of all she’d had enough of missing her friend, Rey. 

They were a two-day journey from the castle where they had been informed she was being held. Their informant had reported seeing her within the walls, rumours of Kylo Ren taking her under his wing. Kaydel had blanched at the thought of it, as had several others. Immediate doubts had flown about the camp.

“What does he want with her?”

“Maybe he’s training her for their side.”

“Maybe she wanted to be captured.”

“What if she’s been turned already?”

“Shut it!” She had finally interceded, a headache threatening to burst. “Rey wouldn’t do that. Go to sleep.” 

Surly silence had fallen, broken only by the faintest whispers, as the five of them fell to sleep, leaving her to keep watch. She sat against a tree trunk, munching on cloudberries, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. In the beginning, every tree had looked like a knight, every bush a crouching threat, every noise a reason to grab your weapon. Now, they greeted her like a pleasant companion. 

She heard a rustling and reached for her knife, her body tensing, jumping her feet. 

“Just me.” She heard Cova whisper. She relaxed and sat back down against the tree trunk, shifting as the other woman came to sit beside her. Kaydel could feel Cova’s shivering, whether from the cold or fear she did not know, so she took her hand in her own and squeezed. The squeeze back was immediate. 

“Do you honestly think she’s okay?”

Kaydel sighed. “I think Rey is capable of looking after herself… but she’s surrounded by them so…” she trailed off, not wishing to voice her doubts. 

“What’s going to happen?”

“To what?”

“To the world?” Cova’s voice was small and weak. Kaydel shifted closer to her. 

“Hopefully, it’ll become fairer and better. Unfortunately, we’re currently in the storm before the calm, but it’ll come.” 

“What about us?”

“We’ll live in the new world.”

“What if we lose?”

“You can’t think like that.”

“But if we do?” Cova pressed on, turning to Kaydel. “What then?”

Kaydel shrugged. “We die, we conform or we hide.” 

Cova sighed and leaned back against the tree. “I wish we had more people, more resources.”

“Numbers don’t win a battle.”

“They sure do help.”

“Yes,” she conceded, weariness creeping in. “They sure do.” The wind picked up speed through the trees, sending leaves fluttering. A pine marten crept along the forest floor, sniffing at the scent of them. Kaydel smiled at the sight of the small animal creeping towards them.

“Are we losing?”

“I don’t think so.” Kaydel yawned, rubbing her eyes with her fists. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not always privy to those meetings.”

“So what do you know?”

“I know that General Organa is doing everything in her power to help bring change. I know that we have an informant in the first order helping with that. I know we’ve lost one of our best fighters but we’re going to get her back. I know that every two steps forward we make, the first order drives us back a step, but we’ve still made a step forward so we’re making progress.”

“I heard about the Essex plan.”

“Yes.” Kaydel shut her eyes, wishing she could slip underwater. She felt Cova’s hand leave hers and pat her shoulder, shaking her slightly. Kaydel laughed, opening her eyes. “I’m not asleep, Cov.”

“You can sleep if you want. I’ll keep watch.”

“What about you?”

“I’m having nightmares.”

Kaydel cupped her face, the wind flew through Cova’s hair, swirling it around. The pair giggled and brushed it back into place. It struck Kaydel how young Cova was as she fought the forces of nature for her hair, her laughter relaxing her face. 

“Here,” Kaydel held out her knife, hilt facing the other woman. Cova took it in her hand. “If you see them, wake us up and then run okay?” 

Cova rolled her eyes but nodded. Kaydel dropped a kiss on the top of her head before creeping under her blanket and falling asleep as soon as her head hit the soil.

✥

Kylo’s heart felt heavy for reasons he knew not. Initially, he thought he'd have forgotten something and listed everything upon his person. He had everything. Then he thought it was nerves, yet he had not had nerves for any other mission– why would this be any different? Perhaps because the last mission he had been on had led to Rey kicking his ass, a broken nose, trouble in the kitchens, Snoke being pissed off at him, Rey kicking some of his knights' asses, a handjob and a kiss. The thought of Rey added more weight. _I’m just nervous because last time was a disaster and ended me in this mess. That's it. Nothing to do with her_ _,_ _and her meeting Kira_ _,_ _and how that's going. She_ _’s_ _can look after herself. They both can._

“Kylo,” Ap’lek’s voice cut through his inner monologues, for which was grateful. “If it came down to it, who would win in a fight, Kira or Rey?” 

“They’ve got different skill sets.” He spurred his horse onwards to overtake them, to avoid this. 

“Yes.” Cardo drawled. “But if you had to choose?”

“I reckon it’s a tie,” Trudgen called. 

Kylo pondered. What could he say? That Kira was more than a match for Rey? That she wasn’t? That he’d help Rey? That he’d help Kira? If Kira attacked Rey, where would he stand? He’d protected her against the kitchen wenches and his knights, but would he stand against his fiancee? He swallowed.

“I’m loyal to the first order and thus Kira.” He spoke stiffly. 

“Ever the diplomat.” Ap’lek sighed. 

“Him?” Vicrul snorted. “A diplomat? _Please._ I’d be much better than him.”

“No, you wouldn’t, dickhead.” Cardo retorted. 

Kylo drowned out their bickering, preferring to watch the way the sun glittered in the sky, turning it to a brilliant orange as it sank away for the night. They were at the edge of the forest and would make camp there before heading in the following day to track the rebels. When he thought of finding them, his chest tightened, his mouth dry, his body tingling with energy. He had to kill them, that was his duty. Yet if he’d followed his duty, he wouldn’t have Rey.

He gave in to the weight in his chest as they ate their soup dinner. He ignored all attempts at conversation, brushing off their banter like leaves in the wind. He turned from Trudgen, who sat beside him post-meal.

“You alright?”

Kylo let out a breath. “I’m okay. Struggling to hold all my plates at once.”

“I hear you. Once the war is over, you’ll just have to worry about the wedding though.”

“And then ruling the country.” He could hear the bitterness in his voice. 

“Yeah but…” Trudgen paused and then bordered on. “You have experience with that right? I mean, watching people rule a country? What wit-”

Kylo seized the front of his clothes and dragged him to the fire, holding him over it. The knights yelled but he ignored them, bearing down on Trudgen, who, give him his due, had not even broken a sweat. 

“If you _ever_ mention that again, I’ll release you as you currently stand, do you understand?”

Trudgen nodded, swallowing. Kylo swung him back around, away from the flames, and shoved him away. He unfolded his bedroll, climbed inside, and turned his back to the camp. White-hot fury seared through his body, giving him the shakes. Images flashed in his mind, words from long ago:

_A king is first a man. And so it must follow that a king does as all men do: the best he can._

Him tugging at his mother's sleeve, begging her play and her brushing him aside, promising _later, go ask your father_ having seemingly forgotten his father was on a mission and therefore could not play with him. He’d slink away, to find a room by himself to play in, tears sliding down his cheeks.

The night breeze whipped at his hair. Kylo clenched his fist and drove it into his forehead as though to smack the memory out of his brain. _I don’t need them, I didn’t need them, I don’t need anyone, I don’t answer to anyone- Liar, you answer to Snoke, you’re in the same place, just different people- Snoke listens to me, he respects me- Is that why you’re covered in bruises? From his respect?_

He stuffed his hands over his ears, curling into a ball, clamping his teeth around the collar of his shirt to muffle his cries. _So weak, so alone, so disposable. If you died on this mission, nobody would care. Who would come to your funeral? Maybe Snoke and your knights out of duty_ _,_ _but nobody for love._ _But–_ _Rey would._ The thought gave him pause, his body freezing. _She’d come. Maybe she wouldn’t cry or grieve_ _,_ _but she would come._

He did not know where the thought came from nor whether he truly believed in it, yet he wound it around himself like armour and drifted to sleep, the sounds of nightlife awakening in his ears. 

✥

The morning brought a blood-red sky and disgruntled moods. Kylo wolfed down his breakfast, working out a crick in his shoulder girdle from his uneasy night’s sleep. He stifled a yawn as Cardo came and sat beside him.

“What’s the plan?”

“Hit the villages, see if they’re hiding there. If not, they’re probably in the woods so fan out and find them.”

“Then?”

“Then kill them all.”

Cardo smirked. “No little prisoners for our beds this time?”

Kylo was grateful he’d grow his hair long enough to cover the burning red of his ears. “She’s not a prisoner. Not in the literal sense.” He corrected himself, seeing how Cardo's eyebrows shot up. “But yes, she’s a prisoner.” He conceded before Cardo could retort. 

The knight shrugged and started packing up his belongings, and putting them on his horse. Kylo did the same, mulling over his own words. She _was_ a prisoner, no matter how he tried to give her freedom. What she asked for, he’d denied. What she wanted, he hadn’t bothered to ask, simply boxed her into a corner. He felt shame weigh heavy on him as he saddled up and began the journey to the village. 

The knights' usual chatter fell deaf upon his ears. _What am I now?_ The question swirled about. _Who am I?_ The eternal question. He turned to the nearest knight; Kuruk.

“Are you okay?” 

Kuruk started. “What?”

“Are you okay?” Kylo repeated, regretting the question. 

“Uh, yeah. Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I heard you fidgeting in the night. Missing countess?”

“Why do you call her that?” 

Kuruk laughed. “After Matilda of Canossa, you know, ‘The Great Countess’?” 

“Rings a bell. So… it’s a compliment?”

“Yeah.” If he hadn’t been who he was, Kylo was certain a ‘duh’ would’ve been added afterward. “She was the most powerful woman of her time, and got into amour and fought wars herself with her troops.”

“Did her husband consent?”

“She was higher than that, she didn’t need consent from even the emperor of Italy. She was a cool woman.” 

“So, you think Rey is cool?”

“She brought you down, as well as Cardo, Ushar, and Vicrul.” He said simply. Kylo nodded and turned back to the road. _They think she’s cool. Well, some of them do._ The thought warmed him like stepping inside during a blizzard, a smile spreading over his face. He urged his horse ahead of the knights lest they teased him about it. 

The village crept into sight and he swallowed. _I hate this part._ He shoved the thought aside and straightened in his saddle, pulling his helmet onto his head. The knights fell into formation behind him– an arrows head with him at the tip. They could hear the cries, the shouts of warning, see the commotion of the inhabitants as they approached. His heart compressed in his chest as they reached the outskirts. He cleared his throat.

“We are searching for members of the rebellion. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. Open your doors and prepare to be inspected.” 

As one, his knights climbed from their horses and fanned out, going into people's houses, questioning them, rummaging through their possessions, rifling through their gardens.

_I wish they’d be gentler._

The thought burnt within him like hellfire. He dismounted his stead and strode through the village, his cloak floating out behind him, people parting like the red sea before Moses as he walked. Some twisted part of himself enjoyed the sight of people moving to make way for him. Struggling to stay on his good side, not to be looked at by him, shrinking away from his presence. _Here._ His back straightened, a smile came to his lips beneath his helmet. Tension melted away and he began to walk slow, deliberate strides. Close to some, far from others. His head felt light and his body stirred. _Mine._

He stopped in the village common, by a statue of Lady Justice. She was blindfolded, down on one knee, her sword in one hand, the tip resting upon the floor. A beam balance held in her other hand, held out in front of her. Kylo went to the statue, noticing the various coins and food upon the beam balance. He bent to see the words carved upon the base;

_Contritionem præcedit superbia, et ante ruinam exaltatur spiritus in ruinam_

He recognised the proverbs quotation immediately. _Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall._ He felt his head begin to spin, his chest constrict. He turned back to the crowd that had gathered within the green.

“When we come back through here in several days, this had better be gone.”

A murmur spread through the crowd. Kylo felt a flash of rage course through him and seized the coins and food left on the statues. He drove them into the mud with the heel of his boot, over and over. _You child. You imbecile. Why aren’t you better?_

Words from over the years, spoken by family, friends, comrades, servants, Snoke bubbled in his mind; 

_You must carry your names like a badge of honour, it’s up to you to continue the dynasty._

_You’re not as good as your mother at leading._

_You’re not as charming as your father._

_You’re not as skilled as your uncle at fighting._

_You’re not as diplomatic as your grandmother was in politics._

_You’re not as good as your grandfather at everything._

He withdrew his sword and hacked at the statue. He was aware he probably looked ridiculous, a grown man bearing down on a statue when there were real threats about, but he did not care. He was going to rip this damn statue down if it was the last thing he did. He drove his sword into the stone which the quote was carved upon, slashing, striking it until the words became a blur. He could hear yelling. Was it his mouth or those around him? He did not know. 

Once the words were nothing more than a disfigured blur, he sheathed his weapon and faced the stunnedcrowd. 

“Do it.” He snarled, stalking back to his horse. Once more, they parted to allow him to pass yet he felt no pleasure at this. Part of him wanted to run back to his horse and ride away, to where he knew not. A part wanted to strike the crowd down. Part wanted the crowd to fall on him, to feel their hands and feet and teeth upon his skin. He saw his knights standing by their steads and sped up a fraction. 

“Nothing,” Vicrul said as they climbed upon their horses. 

“They’re in the forest then.” Kylo urged his horse forward. “We leave none alive.” 

✥

She awoke to screams. 

Kaydel fumbled for the knife. _Cova._ She stood and saw Cova running through the woods. She smiled yet it was short-lived. An arrow sunk its way into Cova's back, sending her twisting, blood leaping from her wound as the arrowhead protruded from her chest. She crumpled to the forest floor like a fish out of water. 

Kaydel didn’t have time to react as she felt a hand seize the back of her clothing. She spun, ready to punch the person, yet came face to face with Edward, who was holding a rock.

“Wha-”

“Someone has to get back to base.” He spoke quickly. Kaydel had no time to respond before he brought the rock down on her head and all she saw was darkness.

✥

Her head pounded. She tasted vomit in her mouth and the scent of blood and dirt surrounded her. A weight lay upon her arm. She blinked, spluttering, opening her eyes to see-

The knights of ren surrounded by the corpses of her friends. 

Kaydel bit her tongue and shut her eyes. Voices were beginning to float into her hearing. 

“We should hang them up. Make an example.”

“No tree is going to hold them all. Just carve some branches into spikes, chop their heads off and display them that way.”

“Makes the same message.”

“Not really, plus that'll take more time. We sho-”

“Enough.”

A shiver passed through her. She knew that voice. It meant _he_ was here.

“We’ll pile them up there and then head back.”

“Fine.” 

Kaydel heard the sounds of grumbling, the odd cursing, the sounds of heavy objects being dragged across the forest floor. _My friends._ Tears leaked from her shut eyes. Then she felt gloved hands seize her. Before she could restrain herself, her eyes flew open. Straight into _his._

He stared down at her, his own eyes widening as he realised she was alive. She started to shake, her mouth opening. Whether to scream, to plead or to curse, she did not know but he clamped his hand down over her mouth, a thunderous expression on his face. She watched as his lip quivered, his eyes darted around, his body shifted to hide her from view. 

“Shut your eyes.” He hissed and she obeyed. “Go limp.” She did and felt him catch and lift her over his shoulder.

“What you got there, Kylo?”

“Another dead one.” His body vibrated against her body and she fought off a twitch in her foot. _What the fuck is going on?_ “I’m putting her on top of the others, so hurry up.”

“Why she on top?”

Although Kaydel couldn’t see, she guessed at the silence and hurried to drag and shuffling noises that followed he wore ‘a don’t fuck with me right now’ expression. She bit back a giggle but knew he felt the movement. His grip tightened in a warning. She took a deep breath and tried to hang lifelessly. Across his shoulder. Across Kylo Ren’s shoulder. _This is insane._

She fell, falling onto a firm yet squishy pile. Although she couldn’t stop her limbs from tensing she prayed nobody was close enough to notice this. She felt claustrophobia creeping forth and bit her tongue to stop her inevitable freak out, her hands sneaking out to grip her friends' lifeless hands. Tears burned her eyes.

“Move out.” His baritone voice shook the trees. Kaydel squinted through her lashes to watch them leave, to know when she could make her move. As they departed Kylo Ren turned around. Although covered by his helmet, she knew he looked right at her. She popped her head up. 

“Thank you.” She mouthed. He gave no sign of seeing this and kicked his horse onwards. She slid off her friends, feeling tears and sick brewing within her. _I cannot carry them all back._ The thought made her shake, burying her head within the corpses she once knew, to muffle her crying. _Later. Back at camp. Hold on._ She stood and began to run, allowing her muscle memory to consume her. As she ran through the forest, back to camp, back to her family one word echoed in her mind. 

_Why?_

✥

_You’re in deep shit if anyone finds out._

Kylo's stomach was in knots. He had vomited twice on their return journey. His forehead was shiny with sweat, his body shivering. His knights had given him water, food, wet cloths, teased about seeing Rey with Kira when he got back, advice on what to say to Snoke, and everything in between. He accepted them all gratefully but spoke nothing to them. 

_It’ll be your head if they find out._

His hands shook so badly, he could not hold his reins, preferring to lie forward on his horse, leaning against its neck as it walked home. This made their journey considerably slower yet he was grateful for this. Maybe slow would mean never. 

_Why did you do that?_

In truth, he did not know. Only that he had looked down upon the girl, her eyes bright and full of terror, and could not find the strength to commit murder. For that's what he was, as Rey had said. A murderer. 

_Less of one now._

His head spun in a web of questions, his breath uneven, his stomach-churning. Kylo longed to pass out, to fall from his horse yet no such mercy came. They strode on through nature, each step taking him closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, the knights of ren kill everyone but Kaydel manages to stay alive and Kylo stumbles across her. After some deliberation, he lets her live and hides her in the corpses. As they leave, she looks at him and mouths 'Thank you', which he sees but does not acknowledge, before running home.


	11. XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as ever, for reading!! You are the best, I hope you enjoy this update, and I would be ecstatic if you left a review and/or hit that kudos button :)

Words had abandoned her. Rey gaped at Kira, like a fish out of water. The sunlight within the room seemed to surround her, turning her into the sun. She curled her hand around Rey’s and pulled her inside. Rey allowed herself to be pulled, her mind racing. _This is Palpatine's grand-daughter. She’s dangerous!_ Her mind screamed, yet another part of her sprung up with doubt. Kira turned back to her and smiled, her face breaking into a picture of joy, and Rey found herself smiling back. 

The ladies stood as they both approached. Kira did not let go of Rey’s hand as she introduced them, pointing to each as she did. 

“Albreda, Katherine, Jane, Constance, Florence, and Margaret.” 

They chorused a hello, which Rey choked back at them. Kira turned to her, her mouth centimetres from Rey’s ear.

“I had a chat with them about the kitchen incident.” Her hand squeezed Rey’s. “Dreadful. and I hope you know I don’t condone that. If they do,” Kira’s other hand came to rest upon her arm, warm and light, “just speak to me and I’ll sort it, okay?” She pulled back, her eyes wide and full of warmth, her mouth curved into a smile, her voice as soft a mother. Rey felt a lump enter her throat, her eyes prickled. She nodded and smiled shyly back. 

Kira withdrew from her and lounged upon a sofa. Upon this cue, the other ladies sat back down and resumed their sewing, gossiping, or reading. Rey looked about the room and saw the bible open on a stand. Kira noted this. 

“Help yourself to any of them. We do daily readings of the bible which you can either read to us or just listen.”

“No, thank you.” Rey swallowed and shifted away from the bible.

A line fell between Kira's eyebrows as she scrunched them together. “Honestly you’re welcome to anything. Especially the books. Please.”

“No.” Rey tried not to snap, sweat breaking over her forehead. She could feel the ladies beginning to look at her. Kira cleared her throat and they turned away from Rey. Kira came close to her, bringing her lips to her ear once more. 

“Can you read? Just nod or shake.”

Flushing the colour of a tomato, Rey shook her head. Kira’s hands curled over the shoulders, her face coming parallel to hers. 

“I’ll teach you.” She said simple, crossing to the bookcase and plucking a volume off the shelves. Rey stumbled over her words of protest;

“No, I... honestly, you... no, don’t have to, no-”

“I shan’t hear another word. Come.” Kira patted the space next to her on the sofa and opened the book to its first page. Rey swallowed and sat beside her, looking at the page of symbols she did not yet understand. 

“Just copy me, and follow my finger on the page so you know what words go with what vocal sound.”

Rey nodded, her mouth dry. “What is this?”

“Medea by Euripides. Do you know him?”

Rey shook her head. 

“He’s an ancient Greek playwright. Excellent writer.” 

“What’s it about?”

“It’s about a woman who is abandoned by her love, so she destroys everything in her wake.” Kira’s eyes gleamed, her lip curling. “It’s about a woman’s calculated desire for revenge against those who have wronged her. It’s my favourite play. Now, let us begin. Just repeat after me. Nurse.”

“Nurse.”

“That is N-U-R-S-E.”

“N-U-R-S-E.”

“Great! Oh, how I wish that ship the Argo had never sailed off to the land of Colchis.”

✥

The town, once full of laughter and children's footsteps, was a ghost town upon their return. Kylo felt his stomach twist, bile rising up his throat. He leaned over and vomited upon the earth, yet there was nothing left to bring up. He heaved, spitting out blood which stained the ground. He sat up shivering. 

Far off in the village green, the statue lay upon the earth, ripped from its holding place. Kylo swallowed, tugged at his reins and started down the path.He felt the eyes of the village people staring at him from their windows yet he kept his head up high. At the green, he demounted his horse and went to the statue. Her head had cracked during the fall so her face was in pieces. Her scales were gone as was her sword. The base remained up, his sword markings etched into it. He sighed and was, not for the first time, grateful for his mask. He retrieved the broken piece of her face and put it back in its rightful spot. Lady Justice gazed up at him, a mark similar to his own splitting her face. A shiver went down his spine and he went back to his horse. He untied his purse from the saddle and left it upon the empty base of the statue. 

Then he swung himself back onto his stead and rode away from the village, not looking back, a weight shifting from his heart.

✥

  
Despite her easier trepidations, Kira was, well, _nice._ She sat patiently guiding Rey through the play's first scene, answering her questions and gently correcting her. If any other lady made so much as a snort, Kira shot them a look or sent them away. She was near constantly speaking;

“Your speech flows so naturally… Like a duck to water… Your eyes are so pretty, almost the same shade as mine…. That dress really suits you, shows off your gorgeous figure… I have a similar headband to yours. I shall wear it tomorrow! Then we can be matching! Isn’t that exciting!” 

When the food arrived, she urged Rey to pick first, keeping everyone back. When Rey paused, not knowing which food complimented the other, Kira piled her plate for her and sat beside her. She whispered which fork and spoons to use - “Move a fraction behind me, to see what I pick and nobody will notice.” - and threw grapes into her mouth, catching them between her teeth and mock bowing when the table burst into applause. Rey found her cheeks hurting from her smiles. Yet, no matter how Kira tried to involve her in the festivities, she watched them all eating, chatting, laughing as though from behind glass.

“Rey, you try! You try!”

She did, and the grapes tumbled to the earth. Kira giggled and picked up a grape in her hands. 

“Stay still. Tilt your head back. Open your mouth. Wider, silly! Okay.” 

The grape landed perfectly in her mouth, soaring to the back and Rey straightened, coughing and spluttering. Kira rushed to her side, smacking her back so the grape shot out. Fire erupted across Rey's back as Kira’s slaps ignited her whipping wounds. Kira drove the heel of her hand between Reys' shoulder blades. This movement sent Rey to her knees, gasping in pain. She felt Kira’s hands curl around her and guide her back to her feet, murmuring;

“Poor you. Still not healed? Poor baby. Come sit by me. I’ll look after you.”

Her body trembling, Rey lay down on the sofa, on her side. Kira sat down and lifted her head into her lap, taking her headband off and running her hands through her hair. The skin of Rey’s neck stood up. _I’m in pain. It’s nothing._ She closed her eyes and tranquility washed over as Kira stroked her hair. She had no memory of this action, yet it felt like what a mother would do. Tears burned at her eyes. She felt Kira’s hand stroke down from her hair to her back, moving in slow soft circles. 

“You poor motherless baby. Like the duckling in the story. You’re my little duckling. You don’t have to worry anymore, I’m here to look after you.”

✥

Although they were a few hours from the castle, Kylo insisted they camped at the edge of the forest for the night. None contested him but laid out their sleeping packs, setting up a fire, pulling food out and laughing together. 

Kylo took the food from them and started prepping a stew. His thoughts faded to a hum in his mind as he focused on slicing the vegetables with his dagger, occasionally slipping and catching his fingers. He sucked on them and continued his job.

“Do you need help?” Cardo’s bass interrupted his concentration.

“I can make a bloody stew.” He snapped. 

“I know you can make a bloody stew, I’m asking if you need help making the bloody stew. Like catching a rabbit for it or stirring while you cut?” 

“Fine. Vicrul got us a rabbit, do that. It’s over there.” 

“Right. Can I use your knife?”

“Here.” 

The two men sat in silence, broken only by the cracking of bones, bubbling of water, the odd splash and insects humming in the twilight air. Cardo set up a little fire of his own to roast the rabbit, the fire crackling and spitting as he turned it upon the stick. Kylo felt him glance at him but refused to catch his eye. 

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

“Are you okay? I know you’ve been having a hard time recently.”

 _I brought Rey back and got punished for it. I let another go and don’t know what awaits me when that is brought to light. Help me._ The words were at the tip of his tongue, calling out to be spoken, yet he turned away from Cardo and bit it instead, tasting blood. He added the cut vegetables to the boiling pot and stirred.

“I’m fine. Just hungry.”

Whether he brought this or not, Cardo did not press him. An ache began to sink into Kylos head, pressing at his temples. He handed out bowls of food and ate alongside his friends, feeling sick with each mouthful. _Are they my friends? If it came down to it, would they follow me or Snoke?_ He had no answer and dared not voice it out loud. He swallowed, gagging slightly on the meat. He watched his friends eating, chatting, laughing as through from behind glass. His head ached, his vision blurred, constantly swallowing. He longed to join in, to be accepted, to relax in the atmosphere. But all he could hear was Snoke's voice echoing in his brain;

 _How weak and pathetic you are, snivelling and shaking against what you deserve. Stand up and take it like a man. Or maybe you should stay down. No man behaves the way you did_ _,_ _so stay down, boy._

He snatched the moleskin from Vicrul, ignoring his protests, and poured the wine into his mouth. He barely tasted it as it flowed, focusing upon the sensation of the alcohol, his brain quieting for once. Once empty, he thrust it back towards his knights and went to his bedroll. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the ground.

✥

As she made her way back to her chambers, Rey’s ears pricked at the sound of someone following her. She glanced upon a suit of armour, seemingly checking her reflection and saw a glimmer of movement. Her eyebrows knitted together and she continued her walk, slower than her usual pace. _One of the maids?_ Possibly. Or a knight set to hurt her. _I need a weapon._

She had none easily to hand. She glanced at the statues holding spears and dismissed them as heavy and awkward to grab. As she turned a corner, she saw an empty, dark corridor out of the corner of her eye. They usually had empty fire brackets upon the walls. 

Yawning, closing her eyes, feigning clumsiness, she turned and headed down it. She allowed her eyes time to adjust to the plunge, her ears noting how her follower paused. Although there were no fire brackets as she had hoped, her feet touched upon a discarded spear with no spiky head. Her hand closed around the smooth wood and she weighed it. _Not very heavy or dangerous_ _,_ _but enough to startle them and run._

Her followers' footsteps began down the corridor, cautiously. Rey gripped the spear, holding it slightly to her left in order to send it in an upwards arc. She noted her follower spot her and head towards her, their arm outstretched. She leant out of their grasp, bringing the spear upwards as planned. The person yelled and fell backward, landing with a thump, and groaned. Rey jabbed the butt of the spear onto their chest. 

“Rey!”

“Finn! Oh, no, I’m sorry, I thought… Here.” 

He accepted her outstretched hand and stood, coughing and rubbing his jaw where she had struck. She let the spear fall from her hand and eased him back into the light. 

“You’re going to have a cracking bruise. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He smiled at her. “I was asked to keep an eye on you, but I think you can take care of yourself.”

“Who by?”

“Ren. In case, you know, Kira or her ladies tried anything.” He began walking down the corridor and she fell into step beside him. “Have they?”

“No. They’ve been…. nice. She’s nice.”

Finn let out a puff of air, his cheeks deflating. “Not what I’ve heard.” 

“Okay! I’m just saying she’s nice to me. She… is friendly and kind and gracious and-”

“Okay, okay, sorry. Maybe it’s just men talking because she won’t indulge them.”

“Maybe.” 

They completed the journey in silence. Finn smiled at her as they lingered outside her door. 

“Night.” Rey stepped into her room and began dressing for bed. As she went to blow out her candle, she noticed a shadow outside her door. 

“You still out there, Finn?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“He told me to watch over you while he was gone, and he’s still gone isn’t he?” 

Rey huffed loudly and blew out her candle, sinking into her bed. She turned to the wall. Although she was alone, she wanted to hide her smile. 

_She saw a bird within a cage. Its green and yellow feathers gleamed in the sunlight as she approached. She stretched out a hand, the bird beak clamped down upon her_ _,_ _and she withdrew_ _–_ _yet no blood had spilt from her hand. The bird was bleeding instead, blood gushing from its mouth. Panic rose as she grabbed the cage and began to run down the corridor,_ _in_ _search for help. The door at the end burst open and she rushed through, to find herself standing on a beach, without_ _the_ _birdcage in her grip. A storm raged above her head and she ducked, running along the sand and into a nearby cave. She caught her breath and wandered through the cave, following_ _its_ _twists and turns until she reached a meadow, the sky now a brilliant orange sunset. Turning, the sun now behind her, the meadow le_ _d_ _to the cliff. She saw a figure standing upon a cliff and smiled as they turned to her. She began to make her way towards them, her hair whipping in the wind. Before she could reach them, they fell into the sea. She screamed._

✥

_He stood on the edge of a riverbank, watching as the raging, turbulent river swirled beneath him. He lifted a foot, ready to step into thin air, to tumble into the waters and be carried away_ _–_ _yet his clothing was digging into his chest. He looked down and saw himself wearing a bodice over his normal clothes. He wrestled his way out of it, dropping it to the floor. He looked up to find himself in a blank white room. He saw the door and headed towards it. A bright blue eye peeked through the keyhole, disappearing as he headed for it. He stretched out his hand to push the door open, to reveal his watcher_ _,_ _and met thin air. The wall began to grow smaller, the walls closing in. His breath came shallowly, as he shoved pitifully against the walls. He screamed_ _as_ _they touched his shoulders from either side_ _–_ _and_ _then_ _they exploded. He was standing_ _on_ _a cliff, his toes curled over the very edge, in his ordinary clothes, the water clear and calm beneath his feet. He looked up into the brilliant orange sunrise and saw a figure heading towards him. Her hair whipped behind her_ _,_ _and although he could not see her face_ _he_ _was certain she wore a smile. Before she could step into the light he fell, sinking beneath the water._


	12. XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday!! I can't believe it's almost August. Thank you so much for being patient with this update; my beta had some personal stuff and I've started doing [fic and / or moodpboard commissions](http://ko-fi.com/emrys/commissions) so that has also been taking up my time! This fic will still be updating per week, but maybe not always on Fridays. Maybe that's better; keeps you on your toes and I get to read all your lovely comments on different days :P 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and please feel free to let me know your thoughts on it! ❤️

Rey woke to a blood-red sunrise. The rays danced across her face and she yawned and rubbed her eyes. She dressed in yesterday's dress, fumbling with her headband. She smiled as she remembered Kylo's face breaking into laughter at her mistake and ensured it was the right way up, lightness filling her. She threw her window open and gazed at the sunlight.

Upon opening her door, she was face to face with Finn carrying a tray. He smiled and held it up.

“I brought you– well, us– breakfast.” He started forward, forcing her to retreat into her room and kicked the door behind him. Once he’d lain it upon the table, Rey gingerly took her plate of bread and kippered herring and her goblet of watered wine and sat on the edge of her bed. She tried not to wolf down her food, but waited until she had swallowed before tearing off her next piece and popping it in her mouth. Finn appeared to be trying to eat slowly also, glancing at her with fatigue filled eyes.

“Did you sleep at all?”

He shrugged and swallowed. “I was told to stay with you, not to sleep with you... Not...not like... sleep _with_ you, but sleep when you’re around.” He hastily shoved bread into his mouth as Rey burst out laughing, nearly spilling her wine. 

“I can take care of myself.” 

“I know.” He grinned sheepishly. “That’s why I did sleep, but right outside your door so any intruder would have to trip over me first.”

“You’re a good man, Finn. Thank you. But if he’s still away tonight, go back to your own bed.” 

“Nope.” He ate the remainder of his herring, staring at her, unblinking. Rey glared back.

“You _just_ admitted you know I can take care of myself-”

“Rey. I was given orders to follow, so follow them I will.”

_He’s not your friend._

Rey swallowed the last of her wine and placed her empty plate and goblet back on the tray before stepping to the door, her hands clasped in front of her as she’d seen the other ladies do. 

“I’m ready to leave now.” She deliberately kept her voice emotionless, cold. She saw Finn realise this, his brow furrowed. He stood and stretched it a hand to her. 

“Rey-”

“I’m ready to leave. Now.” 

He swallowed and picked up their tray. 

“We’ll need to go via the kitchen to drop this off.” 

She did not answer but followed him down the winding corridors, the air thick between them. Rey felt her body grow heavier with every step.

✥

Kaydel stumbled into headquarters, her legs were burning, her chest heaving, her hair matted, her clothing splattered with mud and dried blood. She was certain she smelt terrible; of sweat and shit and death. It dripped onto the wooden floor with a faint _drip drip drip._ She swallowed and attempted to draw herself up as she looked around at the faces of her comrades. They all sat about the long table in the centre of the room, surrounded by maps and various papers. The fire to the far-right filled the room with delicious heat, the smell of embers filling Kaydel's' nose. With no windows, she felt claustrophobia creeping forth once more yet shoved it away. She had to get to a window soon, to breathe in unpolluted air. 

“General Organa.” Was all she managed to stumble out before she fell to the ground, exhaustion winning. She struggled to stand back up, felt hands supporting her, arms sliding under her body to pick her up and help her to her feet. She grinned at Rose to her left and Poe to her right. 

“Are the others behind you?” Poe asked. She shook her head, tightening her dam. She would not cry until alone in her bunk. She felt Poe and Rose deflate, yet they supported her towards the generals quarters. Once standing outside, they left her with hugs, praise, and a head kiss from Poe. She raised her arm, feeling like it was made from metal instead of flesh and bone, and knocked. 

“Enter.” 

Kaydel stepped inside the room; sunlight streamed through the windows in the stone wall, covering the room with a golden hue.Behind the desk sat Leia Organa, whilst her right-hand woman, Amilyn Holdo, sat on the sofa to the right, flicking through a book. Holdo stood and put it back upon the bookcase as Kaydel smiled weakly at them and sat in the nearest chair, lolling backward, her hands on her stomach in an attempt to control her breathing. Blood dripped upon the carpet, and she attempted to shift herself so not to damage it, but it seemed neither one cared about this. 

“Are you okay?” Holdo's gentle voice pulled her back to the present. She sat up, nodding, wincing. 

“I’m fine. Everybody else is dead. They found us and killed them all.”

“How did you escape?” It was Leia who spoke this time, stepping out from her desk and sitting in the chair opposite her own. 

“I-” Kaydel paused, her eyes flittering between them both. Leia took her hand in her own. The action encouraged her to continue. Kaydel swallowed and looked at them. “He, Kylo Ren, I mean, saw I was alive and… let me live.” 

At the mention of his name, the pair of them tensed, the air turning sour within the room. Leia smoothly put her mask back upon her face and squeezed her hand in encouragement. 

“Let you live?” She prompted. Kaydel nodded and watched as confusion flicked across her mask. “Why?”

“I-I don’t know. Maybe so someone could come back and let you know they can kill us easily?” 

“It’s possible. Thank you Kaydel. Go eat and rest.” 

She took her cue to leave. As soon as she had shut the door she heard raised yet muffled voices. Her stomach rumbled, her bones ached, yet her curiosity awoke like a volcano. She pressed her ear to the keyhole-

“Don't be ridiculous!” Leia snapped at something Holdo said. She heard Holdo retort something unintelligible and then Leia’s response-

“I know who he is!”

“What about Rey?” 

Kaydel heard Leia say something, clearly moving about the room, and squashed herself against the door to hear– to no avail. She felt the footsteps before she heard them, and fled down the corridor with a burst of adrenaline, questions burning her brain. 

✥

“They’re back!”

They all ran to the windows, pressing their noses against the glass, peering down at the men. Kira raised an eyebrow at Rey and winked as she stood on a stool, gazing over their heads down at her fiancee and his knights. At this, Rey felt her stomach churn, her head feeling light. She pressed her forehead to the glass, closing her eyes, letting the coolness of the glass envelope her senses. 

When she opened her eyes, she saw Kylo gazing up at her with an unreadable expression. Her heart jolted as she gazed back. His lips moved without breaking contact and then he tore his eyes away from hers, spoke to a messenger. She watched Ap’lek slap his back, saw him wince at the gesture and then head towards the entrance.

“Are they coming here?” Florence wondered allowed as they all disbanded back to their seats.

“Just Kylo and some musicians for us all to enjoy together.” Kira picked up Medea where she and Rey had left off. “When he’s finished with the Supreme Leader, of course.”

“Are you excited to see him, my Lady?” Katherine piped up. Kira smiled a smile that did not reach her eyes, her head tilting to the side, the mock picture of innocence. Her hands gripped the book so hard it vibrated. Her dark eyes snapped to Rey with a look that sent a shiver down Reys' spine. 

“I know Rey is. Aren’t you, sweetling?” 

All eyes fell on her. Rey blushed and stammered her denial, to which Kira answered with a peal of laughter. She pulled her down onto the seat next to her, her hand wound tightly around Reys' wrist, the action stinging her in an unknown way. Once she had released her, to refocus upon the book, Rey noticed crescent grooves from Kira’s nails upon her skin. 

✥

Leia thought tears would flow once Holdo left the room. She sat in her chair, gazing at the blood and dirt-stained chair Kaydel had occupied speaking of her experiences. Her thoughts passed over Rey, concern filling her like water filling a cup– yet this was short-lived as her thoughts turned to him. Her son. 

But he wasn’t her son anymore. He had rejected everything to do with his family by adopting that name. _Kylo Ren._ It was ugly, vile even in her mind. The vocal embodiment of her son's pain and torture. _Does he think of me? Or his father?_ A lump came to her throat as she thought of their last encounter. 

_I hope he does not dwell upon it. And since then he’s destroyed everything in his wake… except for those two girls. Is this Rey’s influence or his own volition?_

She shook her head, as though to shake her train of thought from her. She did not know, she may never know, and it was best not to dwell. She had military strategies to go over, attacks, and defences to plan, a warrior to rescue. _Unless she wants to stay. She has made no contact nor no word of her attempt to escape has reached us. Perhaps he’s influencing her. Perhaps she’s influencing him. Perhaps it’s both._

This last reflection comforted and frightened her.

✥

He was near fainting as they staggered into the courtyard. He fought to sit up straight and demount with dignity, handing his horse off to the nearest boy. He heard his knights snort.

“Welcome committee is out.”

He looked up at the faces of Kira’s maids pressed against the glass and let out his own snort as he saw Rey leaning against the glass. It looked almost as though she was sleeping; her body was slumped, her forehead flat against the glass, her eyes shut. _She looks peaceful._

As if she’d heard him, her eyes snapped open and she gazed down at him, her expression unreadable.

“My lord? The Supreme Leader and Her Royal Highness both request your presence.”

“Her Royal Highness first.” He said, unthinkingly. He felt the ripple effect of his words to those around him. He swallowed and looked apologetically at the messenger who would have to tell Snoke he would have to wait for him. The messenger was ghost white but nodded and jogged away. 

“You’re a brave man, Ren.” Ap’lek teased, slapping his back. Kylo winced and started towards the entrance.

✥

“Duckling,” Kira called, stretching out a hand. ‘Come sit by me.” 

Rey took her seat next to Kira, as the musicians took up their instruments, their hands wound together. She found herself wishing Kira did not notice her sweaty palms, her crooked stance upon the seat, her awkwardness in her dress. Kira smiled at her and squeezed her hand. 

“Any requests?”

“Dawn song?”

She heard sniggers erupt from the other ladies, yet Kira simply smiled and turned to the musicians. “As she says.” 

Before the musician could strum his lute, the door opened and Kylo stepped into the room. Rey inhaled, her stomach clenching. He looked exhausted, his expression sullen, his hair wet although freshly come from a fresh washing. He inclined his head to the ladies, who bowed back, and came to Kira. Kira beamed up at him as he bowed to her. His eyes flicked to Rey, who blushed and bobbed her head, earning more sniggers. His eyes grew dark, yet he stood firm, his hands behind his back.

“You summoned me, my lady?”

“I thought you would enjoy some company and music after your journey. I also have food and drink, if you wish.” She gestured to the servant holding a platter of cheese and grapes, whilst another held a decanter of wine. “Come and sit by duckling and me.”

His eyebrow shot up at the nickname, yet he sat next to his fiancee, accepting a cup of wine and a bunch of grapes. Despite the princess between them, Rey found herself looking at him from the corner of her eye, clenching her thighs together and running her tongue around her dry mouth. 

“Play on,” Kira called before turning to Kylo. “How was your trip?”

“Fine.” 

“Did you find anyone?”

“Yes.”

“And…?” She sighed and turned to Rey when he did not answer. “We’re going to have such a loquacious marriage.” Kira’s hand toyed with Kylos, trying to slide his glove off his hand. When he withdrew, she pouted. “ _She_ lets me hold her hand.” She held up their entwined hands. Rey flushed darkly and looked down at her lap, but not before she caught Kylo staring at their hands and then her, his jaw clenching. 

“Hold my hand.” Kira’s voice had taken an edge to it, her body stilled. Rey looked from her to Kylo, practically tasting the tension. Wordlessly, Kylo rested his gloved hand on his leg, palm up. Kira relaxed, angling into him as she slid her hand over his, locking their fingers together, turning her gaze to the singer. 

Rey glanced down and saw her tighten her grip, her knuckles turning white. “See? That wasn’t so hard.” She heard the noise from Kira, who seemingly sat still with a glowing smile on her face. Kylo nodded, shifting closer to her, and Rey watched as Kira grip slackened an inch. 

Rage and a feeling she could not identify flew within Rey like a volcano. Kira glanced at her, noting the change, and dropped Kylos' hand, bringing it to Rey’s face. Concern was etched into her features. 

“Are you alright, duckling? Is the song not to your liking? It is too crowded in here? Yes,” she turned to the room before Rey could answer. “Everybody out.” 

The musician, singer, and ladies filed out obediently, offering Kira and Kylo bows and smiles as they did. Kira returned each one, glowing like a halo whilst Kylo sat, staring darkly at the floor. Once the door had swung shut, Kira's attention turned back to Rey.

“Better?”

“Yes,” Rey admitted. “But-”

“Don’t worry. You say the word and I shall help you. We both will.” She took Kylos's hand once more, leaning into him.Her eyes drifted to Kylo who, it seemed, the moment they made contact, softened. He nodded. 

“You say the word.” He echoed, offering her a ghost of a smile. Rey looked at Kira, who smiled at Rey and, despite herself, despite her anger and annoyance, Rey had to respond with a smile. Because the princess’ smile was unexpectedly pleasant, friendly, and sincere. And extraordinarily beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Dawn Song](https://www.questia.com/library/5773792/erotic-dawn-songs-of-the-middle-ages-voicing-the) \- A dawn song is a song about lovers separating at dawn 
> 
> The final paragraph describing the smile between Kira and Rey is inspired by [Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett](https://www.waterstones.com/good-omens)
> 
> If you would like me to write you a fic and / or design a moodpboard, feel free to contact me [here](http://ko-fi.com/emrys/commissions) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/kylosgal) or [tumblr](https://kylosgal.tumblr.com) ❤️


	13. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Thank you so much for every comment, kudos, bookmark and hit; they all mean the world to me! Just a lil note to say I'm away on a road trip holiday for the rest of August so you probably won't get another chapter until September. (I'll try my best but idk how much internet I'll be able to access)  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter ❤️

She entered his room as the sun was beginning to set behind the trees, spreading a deep red about the room. His left side window was open, allowing a gentle breeze to flutter into the room. He sat at his table, as always, dipping his quill in ink and writing on the parchment with a dull scratching sound. She watched him for a while, how he scrunched up his face as he concentrated, his mouth opening a fraction, his jaw clenching. She ran at him, grinning when he looked up and then lurched from his desk. His quill sent a line through his document; she felt a twinge of guilt as she used the desk to stop her flow. He regained his composure and picked up his ruined parchment, hiding his face, his hand shaking. 

“Are… Are you okay?” She asked, softly. He scrunched the paper up, throwing it into his fire. He looked at her, his eyes reflecting the fire. 

“What do you want to do?”

“Excuse me?”

He blushed but set his jaw and repeated his question to her. Rey looked about the room; at the desk, the table of food, the bookcases and the bed. She swallowed. 

“Eat?” Her voice quavered and rose in pitch. He was enough of a gentleman to ignore this and hold her chair out for her. She accepted this and allowed him to tuck her in and place a napkin upon her lap with a flourishing bow. She giggled and enjoyed how his face relaxed as she did. He sat opposite her and waited for her to make up her plate. 

Once she had piled it high with food, he sat and helped himself.

“How was the rest of your day?”

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head but she answered nonetheless. “Good. I like Kira… How was the rest of yours?”

He tore a chunk of bread off. “Boring. Farming work.”

“You have a farm here?” Her face broke out in delight. It pained him to wipe it from her.

“No. I was overseeing and signing documents in regards to controlling farming.”

“I hope you wrote that it’s shit.”

“It’s not shit.”

“Is too.”

“How?”

“You’re expecting them to just grow and plant and produce when you say so and that's not possible. Because you’re not God, and because to control it like that, you have to downsize the crop a bit– meaning the plants don’t get all the nutrients out of the soil. and That affects and alters the environment in multiple ways that you can’t always predict, and so your plan is shit.” 

Now his eyes nearly popped his head. She shrugged and bit into her cheese.

“Countryside, remember? Helped out a few farmers in my time.”

“Crop output and controlled environments means lower prices for the consumer.”

“And lower wages for the farmers. This is all just a money saving scheme for the crown. Like taxes.” 

“Taxes mean you stay out of trouble and you get the benefit of whatever your taxes paid for.” He countered.

“But they’re too high, so most people don’t get the benefits because they’re starving.” She responded, waving her hand holding some grapes before popping some into her mouth. “I’m a product of that.” 

“It’s two shillings per hide!” He protested. She laughed mirthlessly.

“Spoken like someone who's always had money.”

‘Well, what would _you_ do then?”

“The more you earn, the higher the tax.” She spoke as though a ‘duh’ was at the end of the sentence. He looked away from her, staring at the bust of the young man.

“I never thought about it like that,” he admitted in a low voice. 

“You were raised around all this,” she waved her hand at their surroundings. “That’s not your fault, but you should realise not everybody is and help those you can.”

She slowly stretched out and laid her hand on his gloved one. He immediately pulled away and she made to apologise until she realised he was pulling his glove off and to hold her hand with his bare one. Weariness hung on him like seaweed on a shipwreck, the silence stretched out between them. 

“I’ll propose that. They might not go for it but…” He trailed off, sinking back into silence. 

“Can I lie down?”

“You say the word, remember?” He looked at her; his face etched with something between sorrow and regret. He pulled away from her, taking her plate from her, stacking them neatly upon the table and pouring himself another goblet of wine. 

Rey collapsed on his bed, forming a starfish and snuggling into his sheets. She sighed happily and rolled onto her back, still like a star.

“There’s so much _room!”_ She glanced over at him, a coy smile on her lips. “I guess you need a _lot_ of room, huh?” She laughed as he blushed, the gleeful sound filling him like sunlight through a crack in a wall. She propped herself up on to her elbows. “There’s enough room up here. If you’d like.”

Kylo pulled his other glove off, laying them on the table and climbed on to the bed next her, careful not to touch her as she shuffled over to give him space. They lay silently, staring at the ceiling. Kylo tried to subtly move his hand so the back of his brushed against hers. When she didn’t move away, he slowly slid it over until their fingers were interlaced. He struggled to breathe and gripped the sheets tightly with his other hand. 

“Hi.” His voice had jumped an octave. 

“Hi.” So had hers. 

“This is nice.”

“You don’t have your gloves on.”

“No.” 

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Uh, yes, if, if you want to.”

They turn on their sides, face each other, hands still linked, bridging the gap between them. Her hand shaking, Rey reached out and brushed a lock of his hair from his face, hovering by his face. Kylo turned his head and kissed her palm before moving his face closer to hers. 

He kissed her, gently. Something mournful passed between them in the brush of their lips. Kylos hands went to her waist and her hair, pulling her closer, hunger in the hard slant of his mouth, an unfamiliar edge. Rey shivered as restless sparks burnt through her, her own hands going to his face, cupping it and moving in tandem with him. 

Their foreheads bumped together as they tried to shift the tilt of their heads and moved the same way. They broke apart, Rey giggling, Kylo pressing a hand to her forehead.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. We’ll just have to practise.”

“Fine by me.” He dipped his head and kissed her once again, igniting a fire within her. He shifted so she was lying flat on her back, him leaning on his elbow, hovering above her, his spare hand tangled in her hair. After a few more bumps and laughter, they found a rhythm, their tongues sliding over lips and teeth and each other. Rey could feel Kylos hand drifting to her shoulder, over her collarbone. She arched, her own hands pulling him closer and then he switched to her upper arm. She sighed and then smiled as his hand curved around her ribs. 

_Move up, move up, move up._ She tried to shift, to wriggle, to encourage him but he shifted in time with her, his hand still upon her ribs. She sighed and put her hand over his, pulling it upwards so it laid upon her breast. 

He paused for a second, making Rey worry she’d pushed him too far, and then he squeezed so tightly-

“Ow!”

He released her immediately. “Sorry, I got excited.” He peered up at her through his eyelashes, and she was struck at how _young_ he looked. Full of innocence and worry. She smiled and brought his hand back to her breast, titling her head for a kiss. He was ready for her and kissed her arduously, his hand squeezing gentler this time. 

They fumbled about upon the bed; Rey rolling over to straddle him, Kylo’s hands upon her breasts, their hips grinding against the others in clumsy movements. Kylo’s hardness digging into her pleasantly, the growing wetness and throbbing between her thighs, their mouths exploring each part of the others exposed skin. Rey gasped when he nipped her throat, his thumb running over where her nipple was. Kylo bucked into her as she kissed from his jaw to his collarbone, her tongue occasionally licking his skin as she went. 

Kylos hands yanked at the neck line of her dress, tearing it slightly so her breasts spilled out. Rey was past caring the moment his hands returned to them, twisting her nippled between his fingertips, his breath hot against her neck. She moaned and he let go of her, curling his arms around her so he could roll them over, her legs automatically wrapping around him. He paused, gazing down at her, his eyes full of hunger and wonder as they raced over her. Rey grew hot under his gaze, embarrassment flooding through her and gripped her torn hemline, making to cover herself. He caught her wrists, pinning them to the bed, looming over her. Her cunt throbbed in response. 

“Please don’t hide yourself. You’re beautiful.”

Before she could absorb this or answer, he leant down and licked her nipple. She cried out and he chucked, releasing her wrists. His mouth closed over her breast, the other covered by his hand. Rey cried out, her hands moving to his hair. Pleasure rolled through her like waves in a storm as his tongue and hands explored her breasts. He switched between them, swapping out his hands and mouth, his teeth biting down softly as his fingers twisted her nipple on her other breast. Rey bucked into him, rubbing herself against his hardness, moaning all the while. He was breathing heavily himself, covering her torso wet kisses and thrusting into her. 

His hands gripped the sheets on either side of her, his body shaking. He sucked her breast, making her cry out and press her hips into his. She paused when she felt wetness. She pulled away, confused - _Me or him? -_ until she saw his sheepish face peering up at her. She raised an eyebrow.

“Did you just...?”

Then he did something that shocked to her core. He turned the colour of a tomato, crawling over to where she lay and buried his head in the crook of her neck. She froze, feeling his nestling against her, breathing her in and then curled her arms around him. She felt him let out a breath and sink further into her as though he’d been waiting for her to push him away. Laughter bubbled over her mouth until she was shaking and calling out in glee. She felt him smile against her and press his lips to her neck. 

“What?” He said, his tone had a whining edge, elongating the ‘a’. She shook her head and clapped a hand over her mouth to steady her laughter. 

“Nothing.” 

He did not press her to elaborate but relaxed back into her, his torso covering hers, their legs tangled. One of his hands curled around her hair, stroking it between his fingers and she traced patterns over the skin of his back, meeting old scars as she went. Peace fell about the room; simply the sound of their breath and rustle of fabric penetrated the delicious silence. 

_If we weren’t us, would we be this us?_

The thought came to them both in that moment, fear and wonder spreading through them. They felt glad for nestling together so they wouldn’t have to meet the others eyes and risk blurting it out. Thoughts raced of what to say, what to do, to move past, to fill the silence, once so peaceful but growing in tension, until-

“I’ll make it up to you.” He murmured into the side of her neck, before kissing her there. She shivered, her hands pressing into him as his own drifted under her dress. He traced up her thigh to the apex, pressing experimentally there. Rey gasped and her legs shook a tad. She felt Kylo smile against her and he ran his fingers over her covered cunt, stopping at the top where the pressure seemed to make her body shake, her chest heave. He shifted so he was hovering slightly above her, his hand dipping under her undergarments. They both paused as he did; Kylo stroking the hair that grew there, Rey basking in the feeling of someone else’s hand between her legs. 

Kylos eyes met her own, flickering between her mouth and them. She wound a hand around his hair and pulled him in, pressing her mouth to his in a wet, passionate kiss. Their tongues slid over each other, Kylo angling his head, Rey pulling him closer. His hand slid further down, to her entrance, brushing over it. She moaned as he did, to which he pressed his body closer to her, his kiss full of hunger, his renewed hardness grinding into her thigh. 

His fingers pressed against her clit, causing her body to shake. He smiled against her lips and broke the kiss. As her fingers started to hesitantly move in circles, up and down, side to side, he sucked at her neck, nibbling softly, as Rey mewed in his ear, twisting her body and whispering which direction he should move in. 

When he slid a finger inside of her, they both paused. Rey closed her eyes, her body trembling with pleasure, her hands gripping him so tightly he half-expected permanent marks of her upon his body. He watched as she seemed to simultaneously relax and rile up, her face a picture of bliss, her cunt clenching around his finger. He moved it experimentally and she gasped, arching into him. Encouraged, he began thrusting it slowly in and out of her, rewarded with moans and her body moving in time to his. As he added another, her eyes flew open and gazed into his; scared happiness staring up at him, her mouth slightly open, a blush spreading over her alabaster skin. He wished he could imprint this image of her in his mind forever.

Rey seemed to grow embarrassed as she pulled him down, burying her head in his neck, as he had done. He resumed his thrusting, his thumb moving to her clit and rubbing soft circles again. Rey’s sweet tones were muffled by his neck yet he could feel every part of her body against his. 

His mouth returned to her breast, his fingers and thumb building speed and pressure. His other hand lay next to her head, his thumb gently tracing her cheekbone. 

She started shaking, her cunt clenching, her cries growing louder. He made to stop, to pull away, but she pulled him closer, growling at him to continue and so he did. Continued until her cunt clenched so tight around his fingers he thought he’d lose circulation. Continued until her body was convulsing, heaving, writhing. Continued until she cried out, her face scrunching into his neck, swearing softly to herself. He paused, allowing her time to catch her breath. She extracted herself from him and beamed up at him. 

“Again?”

“You can go _again_?”

She laughed and nodded before pulling him down for a kiss, their bodies already moving in tandem. 

✥

“Good morning betrothed,” Kira breezed into his rooms and sat in Rey’s chair. _My chair. A chair._ She beamed at him, popping a grape into her mouth, shifting so her golden necklace which dipped below her neckline, glinting seductively between her breasts, glittered in the sunlight. Kylo swallowed and sat opposite her, accepting the plate of bread and cheeses she held out to him. 

“What are your plans for today then?” She adjusted the hem of her sunset orange dress, pushing the sleeves over her elbow as she started breaking her bread into little chunks to eat. He shrugged.

“Meetings, training, planning, petitions to sign.”

“Well, let me save you a meeting.” She cocked her head. “If you’d like, of course.”

He looked at her, warily, watching as how her lips pulled over her teeth in a smile, how her eyes reflected the sunlight, how her body arched slightly against the chair. _Rey’s chair._ He leant backwards, shifting his own body so his elbow rested on the table, his hand coming to his mouth.

“Depends… Who with?”

“Snoke.” She purred his name out, biting the nail of her thumb as she smirked. “He’s fuming you didn’t see him yesterday.”

Kylo’s leg began to shake under the table. He was sure she could sense this, yet her large, bright eyes never left his. She smiled softly, her face relaxing into a kind expression. She removed her hand from her mouth and slid it, palm up, across the table to him. He didn’t move. Her face and tone softened, her voice taking on a coaxing edge. “I’ll help you.”

See Snoke and face the consequences of not seeing him or accept Kira and be in her debt. 

He felt like vomiting. His scars reminded him he could take whatever Snoke distributed and yet…

If he had a chance to avoid it, he should take it.

Whatever Kira came up with as his payment, wouldn’t touch what Snoke did. And yet it filled him with similar dread. 

She was looking at him, so soft and kind and open. She looked somewhat like Rey. _Rey._ He didn’t want to go to her with fresh marks and the taste of failure in his mouth. He wanted her to look at him the way she had yesterday; with amazement, like he could do anything, like he deserved the look, like he was worthy of her affection. 

As he laid his gloved hand upon Kira’s, his stomach fell. He felt as though he had been walking across a lake of ice and stepped out of place; the crack of ice, the sudden drop, the knowledge that there was nothing beneath but dark water.

Kira squeezed his hand and then moved away from him, once embrue digging into her breakfast. Kylo forced himself to drink his goblet of wine, despite his stomach doing somersaults. 

“He has a plan for shifting duckling-”

“Rey.”

“Over to our side of the war.” She continued although he hadn’t spoken, sipping her own goblet, flicking her auburn curls over the shoulder. 

“Which is?”

“Charm.”

“What?”

Kira sighed, rolling her eyes. “You just swing a sword with her, build comradely and have little chats. Just as you have been doing, so you don’t need to change your technique.”

The words slid into him smooth as a polished knife.

“And you?”

“I’ll be my delightful self.”

He shoved his plate away from him, feeling lightheaded and nauseous. Kira’s foot nudged him under the table, and he pulled himself back to focusing upon what she was saying as she cut the head off her sardine. “Small uprising in the Southeast, which you’ll have to go squish with your friends, wedding planning and I’m having a soirée in a few days so you obviously have to come.”

“To be your party piece?”

She winked at him, popping the decapitated fish into her mouth. Then she rose, waving her hand to stop him from also rising. She slid round the table, coming to stop mere inches from him. 

“You’re even more handsome with your scar.” 

Her hand tucked under his jaw, her thumb sliding over his cheek. “I’ve saved you one.” The nail of her thumb grazed his cheek as she spoke. He fought to maintain eye contact with her stormy hazel eyes. 

“One.” He echoed. Her face tightened but her smile never left. She nodded, letting her hand drift away from his face. She sank into a curtsy before holding out her hand. He took it and kissed it; their eyes never leaving one another throughout this exchange of curtsies. 

The rays of the rising sun luminated half of her; half brilliance, half darkness. She looked beautiful, but her beauty was like a golden stags carcass. She smiled as if she knew this, and basked in her terrible glory. He didn’t know whether to be in awe, or envy her, or fear her. Her arched eyebrow showed his body had betrayed this and he fought not to fidget. Her face softened, making her look younger, delicate. 

“Farewell betrothed.” 

“Farewell.” 

“No name for me?”

“Farewell, _princess.”_

She laughed, the cold, rich sound bouncing off the walls. “I accept. For now.” With a swish of her skirts she was out of the room, carrying the scent of the aconite flower with her. His throat ached. All he wanted was to be left alone to cry or be sick, maybe both. Yet, he couldn’t give in to his hurt, so he gave in to his anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 shillings = 14p / 18 cents  
> Hide = 60 to 120 old acres (approximately 30 modern acres (120,000 m2))


	14. XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!! Happy September, I hope you're all well and cozy. Thank you to those who messaged about my holiday; I had a wonderful time and got engaged to my partner whilst away! [Here is a photo of my ring if you'd like to see :) ](https://twitter.com/kylosgal/status/1300529342594899968) So expect fluffy lovey dovey chapters whilst I'm on cloud nine haha.
> 
> Hope your enjoy this chapter 💙

Kylo ducked into the training room, noting his friends standing about, holding their weapons, standing in a vague circle where Rey stood in the middle. He saw how her eyes lit up as Cardo held out his weapon, seemingly talking her through how to hold it properly. She placed her hands over his, following his movements as he swung it.

Kylo felt something bubble within him, but squashed it down and picked up his own sword. 

“Hey,” Rey's voice called out to him. He inclined his head but ignored her otherwise. _Just as you have been doing, so you don’t need to change your technique._ Guilt clawed at his insides much as a cat claws at fabric. His technique. _Technique._ His gaze fell on one of the dummies; standing waiting to be beaten into submission, taken for granted by them all, simply living his life as a dummy doing what he liked with no ulterior motive until they all shoved one on him for their own means. 

He crossed the floor, picking up the dummy and, ignoring the rest, placed it in the corner of the room. He walked about the room, picking up all the dummies and placing them in the corner too. He turned to his companions.

“Is there a sheet here?” 

They all fanned out looking for one, Rey trying to catch his eye. He deliberately turned away from her, heat flushing over his body. He saw a blush spreading over herself and she also avoided him. It struck him as Ap’lek found a sheet and handed it over, she probably thought his avoidance was out of embarrassment of the previous night and thus she reacted similarly. He smiled softly to himself as he threw the sheet over the dummies, ensuring they were all covered. He did not notice Rey by his side until she spoke.

“What’s that for?”

“Taking care of them until we need them again.” He turned to the room. “We’ll use blunt instruments on each other. Team up.” 

Vicrul and Cardo moved together to collect their blunted weapons, playfully shoving the other as they walked. Ushar and Trudgen shrugged at each other and moved off wordlessly. Kuruk and Ap'lek grinned and raced one another to the weapon stand. Kylo turned to Rey.

“Guess you're with me.”

“Guess I am.”

“What do you know of fighting with a sword and dagger simultaneously?” He fell into step with her as they crossed the room. She shook her head slightly.

‘Very little. I’ve always just used a sword or a dagger, never both.”

He handed her both of the blunted weapons. She twirled them both experimentally and made a series of movements; her arms seemed to be two separate entities, neither weapon complimenting the other. The dagger spun out of her hand across the floor as she tripped over her sword after attempting a half-pirouette jab. He retired his own blunt weapons and gestured for her to pick up her own. 

“You need a teacher.”

She flashed him a smile. “Let’s go, teach.” 

They laid their daggers down for the moment, moving to the centre of the space and exchanged a few short blows, the sound of metal ringing in their ears. They switched to simply using their right hands. Rey stumbled with this, unused to having one hand behind her back as she fought yet she danced with him well enough. When they switched to left, Rey held a slight advantage over him as they moved with slickness, their weapons meeting with a kiss, easily flicking the sword without her right hand. 

“Are you left-handed?” Kylo asked, lowering his weapon. 

She nodded. “But I was taught by a right-handed teacher. Plus, people thought I had the devil in me if I used my left hand. Is it useful?”

“It can be. But if you just use your left hand you're at a disadvantage bec-”

“Because your body is turned to the left and they can get to your heart.”

He nodded, swinging his sword before taking an attack stance; feet apart, one slightly in front of the other, sword straight out at her. Rey spun her own weapon, grinning before swinging at him ferociously. They switched to free style, switching between their hands or holding with both, shifting back and forth over the space, ducking and weaving, attacking and defending with a balance neither had felt in a fight with others. This energy seemed to be reserved for the other; a vicious dance of halves. Although the weapons were blunted, it still stung when they’re rapped against the others fingers or sides. After a series of feigns and blows that left her winded, Kylo successfully knocked her on her backside, her sword spinning out of her grasp and his tucked neatly under her chin. He let it drop to his side and held out his hand to help her up. She accepted it graciously and was surprised when he drew her closer, his lips to her ear. 

“Watch the blade, not the soldier. Steel never deceives.” 

She nodded and he released her, his eyes dark and glinting. He picked up their daggers as she picked her sword back up, tossing one to her which she caught clumsily. She held her sword in her right, the dagger in her left to which he nodded approvingly. 

“Now, to fight with both together,” he drew his own. “If you can, try to hide your dagger until the last moment and then you can attack from either side and tilt your body about,” - he ducked and weaved, demonstrating. “If you can’t, that‘s okay, but you must favour the sword on the right. Only use the dagger alone if you lose your sword or use of your sword arm.” He spun and brought the sword to her throat, the dagger moving in a swift upward arch, stopping at her sternum. She did not flinch at the sword but stepped back at the dagger. He stood upright and beckoned for her to try. She attempted to mimic his movements, making adjustments as he called them out. 

“Lower! Attack, dodge! Parry! Half-pirouette! Parry, full pirouette! Steadier on your feet. Not tiptoe, use your whole foot. Don’t wobble! Lunge, thrust! Faster! Half-pirouette! Jump and cut! That’s it! Good!’ 

“Really?” She paused, weapons in the air, staring at him. “Was that really good?”

“Yes,” he said impatiently. “Don’t lose your focus.”

“Surely this works only if I’m fighting one opponent?”

He snorted and shook his head.

“I’ve got to leap about like this, even when I’m only fighting one opponent?”

“You never know what you’re fighting. You never know what’s happening behind you. You always have to cover yourself. Foot and sword work! It’s got to be a reflex. Move then!” He barked. She scrunched her face in concentration and began the sequence again. He began to circle her, still speaking. Although she did not look at him, he knew she was listening to each word.

“A reflex, understand? You mustn’t forget that. You forget it in a real fight and you’re finished. Again! At last! That’s it! See how such a parry lands? You can then strike with your dagger from it. You can cut backwards from it, if you have to. No, not overhand. That’s only good if you’re attacking from above. Stick to underhand. Yes, like that.” 

She could feel sweat running down her arms, her chest heaving, her muscles trembling from the extension– but she could not stop grinning as she spun about the room, under Kylo's bossy voice. He came and corrected her stance a few times, gripping her body and shifting it into position. Once he released, she felt the section he’d touch burn and a giddy sensation spread over her body; she sought to concentrate on her movements, yet could see him circling her from her peripheral vision like a vulture. He stopped her after what seemed like an age. She lay down on the floor, drinking in the air, letting her weapons go slack, her eyelids drift shut. She felt the air change and opened them, rolling just in time to avoid his foot from landing on her face. She sprung to her feet, crouched like a tiger, her weapons held out in front of her.

“The sun is still in the sky so it’s not the time to sleep, especially...” his eyes glinting, his lips curling. His voice dropping lower, making her knees shake. “In enemy territory.”

“You wouldn’t hurt me.”

“We’ve established that’s untrue.” 

They began to circle each other, weapons at the ready. She became aware of the rest of the room pausing their training segments to watch theirs. She shook her head slightly. _Focus on what’s in front of you, not others battles._

 _“_ You wouldn’t hurt me, ungallantly.” She corrected herself. 

“Not deliberately, no” he struck out quick as a flash, she only just managed to raise her sword in time, his sneering face looming over her. “Unless you deserve it.” 

She shoved him off her, twisting out of his reach. “And what if you deserve it?”

“You’re welcome to try. I’ll go easy on you now.” He threw his dagger away; Vicrul caught it and spun it between his fingers. Rey gripped hers tightly, watching Kylos other hand curl around the pommel of his sword. 

Using speed, she swung her sword in a series of arches, each different from the last, each aiming for his head, gritting her teeth as he dodged them all. She spun around, their swords making contact as he glanced off her blow. She grasped her sword underhand and drove it towards him, grunting with the effort. He masterfully countered her attack. She spun her sword in her hand, making to drive the side into him. Dropping on to one knee, he held his sword out with one hand, the point inches from the ground, halting her progress. 

He stood, spun, bringing his sword down in a large arch towards her head. She dodged his attack, moving into a half block with her own spin. Steel rang throughout the room. In the back of her mind, Rey wondered why the knights weren’t shouting out words of encouragement or making bets, but she drove this from her mind as she moved into the defensive, pushing his sword away. 

Their swords made a series of X’s in front of them as they lunged together. She made to reach for her dagger, but Kylo pushed through the movement and knocked her off balance. He had misjudged the distance, however, ending with his sword way out to the side, giving her time to regain her feet in the form of a spin and attempt to drive her sword into his side. He blocked just in time, their eyes meeting in vengeful euphoria. She tried to spin around again, sending her momentum the other way, her hand fumbling with her dagger, but Kylo ducked and backed off, twirling his sword. Rey gritted her teeth and attacked again. 

Stupidly, with her fist. 

She missed, lurching towards him. She saw his eyes lit up in amused surprised, easily dodging her fist and backhanding her across the face. Her neck snapped to the side with a _crack,_ causing her tostumble, taking all her control to stay on her feet. She could taste blood, yet held on to her sword. Her arm was starting to ache with the effort, but she’d be damned if he thought she was going to yield before one of the them was flat on their back.

Rey roared and made to strike again, their swords once more meeting in an X. Kylo gripped her arm, halting her from snatching up her dagger and drove her backwards. She was panting with the effort of trying to resist, yet he was larger and heavier than she; he shifted her across the stone floor, his mouth set in grim determination. He put his non sword hand on her arm, forcing her blade towards her throat. 

Despite knowing it was blunt, panic seared up inside of her and she struggled against him, desperately trying to shove him away. As her blade grazed her throat, he relaxed a fraction, a half smile dancing over his features– and that’s when she struck. 

She pressed her dagger into his side, right where his kidney was. She watched as his eyes widened, his mouth agape, looking down at her handiwork. With this, she shoved him off of her and prowled towards him like a lion moving on a wounded antelope. She watched with pleasure as his surprise turned to rage. 

_Good. Be angry. You’ll make more mistakes._

He swung towards her with a snarl. Her sword met his and slid down to his cross guard, giving her control of both their weapons. She shoved against him, spinning the dagger in her other hand, slashing at his face. He lurched away from her, fury etched into his face along with, what she thought, was a glimmer of fear. She made to stab him with the dagger again but he caught her wrist, twisting it painfully and driving his sword in a downwards thrust. She blocked and dodged out of his way, wrenching her wrist free. 

Her arms were starting to shake from the extension, her wrist now stinging. She scowled and resumed her attack. She moved her sword, feeling her own anger grow with each block. She tried to strike with her dagger which he blocked too. Frustration winning out, she spun and made to slice his back but Kylo whipped his sword up behind his back and blocked her there too, the flat of the sword against his back. 

They stared at each other in this position, their chests heaving. He bared his teeth at her. 

“Growing tired yet?”

“You wish.” She hissed, pulling out of the hold. He swung his sword over his head, bringing it down in a deadly arch she blocked with both the sword and dagger, the clang of the swords sending her teeth chattering. 

“Thank God they’re blunt.” She heard someone mutter to the others agreement. The split second distraction caused Kylo to break her block and send the edge of his sword into her shoulder. Despite the blunt edge, she still cried out and fell to one knee. She slashed blindly out at him with the dagger, causing him to leap back and giving her time to get back on her feet. 

White hot anger was coursing through her veins as she looked at him; he looked completely at ease whilst she stood before him a sweaty, tired mess. She ran towards him with a yell, sending her sword and dagger out in an arch which he had to step backward to avoid, and swapping them out behind her back. She smirked as his eyes widened at the change in her weaponry and resumed her lunges. She extended her thrust which he slapped aside; she converted to a side wards slash which missed completely. She was breathing heavily, sweat dripping off her face, her muscles aching. She looked Kylo over as they parried, noting the sweat beading on his forehead, the tremor in his bottom lip. She grinned to herself, coming up with a slash which glanced off his blade. She ducked as he took a swing at her head, switching to an underarm grip. She swung her dagger down and paused as he caught the blade in his hand, halting her. 

He sneered at her, yanking it from her and tossing it to Vicrul, who grinned. Rey swallowed and gripped her sword with both hands, her entire body trembling. _Shit._

Kylo slashed at her, mercilessly, driving his sword into hers over and over, driving her back, steel deafening her ears. She stumbled, exhaustion momentarily winning, watching as Kylo twisted her sword from her grasp.

_Just like I did._

She fell to the floor, landing painfully on her side and looked up at him. He wore a triumphant smile.

“Yield?”

“Yield.” She grumbled, accepting his hand to stand up. The high pitched ringing in her ears had subsided a fraction so she could hear the whoops and encouragement of the knights. A few slapped her on the back and commended her efforts before they playfully jabbed at Kylo, cajoling him. She didn’t miss his smile before he ducked out of his friends reach, his hand going to her lower back and guiding her from the room, with the promise of food and drink.

“And something else in between!” His friend jeered to raucous laughter as he shut the door. He gazed down at her, his eyes sweeping over, what she was sure, was a dishevelled look. 

“Good?”

She nodded and followed him back to his chambers where he presented her with a clean dress and undergarments, and assured her lunch would be set once she had changed in his adjoining room. 

Sure enough, the moment she stepped out, pausing to enjoy how his eyes raked over her body, there were cold meats, bread, vegetables, wine and water. She helped herself readily to the water, drinking it down in one gulp before refilling it and setting her plate. 

“Where did you learn to fight like that?” She broached the question, hesitantly, pulling at her chicken. He swallowed his own water before answering, his eyes flickering about the room as though he was debating what to tell her. 

“Partly my parents, partly my uncle, but mostly the Supreme Leader.”

“I thought your uncle owned a monastery?”

“Yes”

“So what’s he doing teaching you to fight?”

“In case you hadn’t realised, we live in a dangerous time. Plus monasteries used to fight each other, and my uncle likes to be prepared, even if it's madness to others.” This brought a wry smile to his lips. Encouraged, she leant on the subject.

“And your parents?”

He shrugged, a scowl encompassing his features. Rey’s heart strayed thrashing in her chest. She knew she had to sit still, lest he spook and go sullen on her as was want. He tore at his bread as he spoke.

“My parents fought in the last year, that’s how they met. My uncle and father rescued her and she fought alongside them, despite being female. Not that that ever stopped her, if anything she’d double her efforts of beating them to a pulp to prove she was more than a match for them,” he smirked slightly at her. “They married after the war and had me. But... they had grown in turmoil, so turmoil was all they knew. My mother turned to politics, leading people, whilst my father turned back to his... ways– and I was left in the middle. Eventually, they got sick of me and sent me away to my uncle.”

“How did you get here?”

“I met the Supreme Leader and he showed me the light.” He answered tersely. She nodded, his story pressing into some deep corner of her brain, as though it was an old fairy tale she had heard before but could not put her finger on. She shook herself and focused on what he was saying. 

“Sorry?” 

“And you?” He said the words slowly, clearly repeating them. “Where did you learn to fight?”

“Being an orphan means you have to defend your space.” She shrugged. “Had my nose broken a few times, couple of cracked ribs, wicked headaches, but I was stubborn and won out in the end.” 

“Surprising that.”

“Extremely shocking.”

“Wouldn’t have known if for looking at you.”

“I’ve been thinking of getting a sign.”

“Saying what? Female but handy with a sword?”

“I defeated Kylo Ren should be enough I think.”

“Once!” He protested.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Would you like it to be?”

“Why, you feeling up to it?” 

He jabbed her playfully in the ribs with his elbow to which she kicked his shin under the table. He tugged at her hair, which she mimicked. They both stayed like that, holding onto the others hair, grinning broadly.

“Let go.”

“Ladies first.”

She rolled her eyes but kept a hold of him. “On three?”

He nodded. They both counted to three and neither released the other, glaring.

“So much for being gallant!”

“I’m not letting go until you do.”

“Neither am I.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

They began to eat one handedly, occasionally leaning one way for the other and feeding the other from their own hand if they could not reach. Over the hour, whilst they did not release the others hair, their grips slackened and turned to stroking and twiddling with the strands rather than gripping. 

Before they departed his room to walk to Kira’s chambers, Kylo tightened his grip once again, his other hand circling her waist and pulling her in for a kiss. Despite his playful tone throughout their lunch, when his lips met hers, there was nothing playful in the kiss. He tasted of warmth and pears, his familiar scent filling her senses. Rey came up to her tiptoes, circling her arms around his neck, feeling her body melt into his as his teeth scraped her bottom lip. Having witnessed and being the receiver of his strength that morning, she shuddered when she felt it as his fingers bunched the back of her clothing and drew her in. She could feel her body awakening, quivering as one his hands slid around to the front, loosening her bodice and sliding a hand underneath to her breast.

His mouth kissed down her jaw, her neck, nibbling and sucking at her skin as his fingers twisted her nipple, making her gasp, her knees shake. She was grateful for his arm round her, holding her up. Her head was spinning; her thoughts slow and hazy. With a whine from her, he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. 

“You need to go to Kira, and I need to go to my meeting.”

“Now?”

“Now or else I won’t stop.” He laced her bodice back up, taking her hand and kissing it before holding his door open for her. As she passed him, she paused and looked at him. 

“Thank you for today.”

“Don’t thank me yet, we’ve still got eleven hours I could fuck up in.”

She laughed and kissed his cheek before walking away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Training sequence inspired by [Outlander by Diana Gabaldon](http://www.dianagabaldon.com/books/outlander-series/)
> 
> Teaching and [fight sequence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmq-f8dAVOA&t=10s) inspired by [The Witcher by Andrzej Sapkowski](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Witcher)
> 
> Watch the blade, not the solider. Steel never deceives. - inspired by [Folk of the Air series by Holly Black](https://blackholly.com/books/folk-of-the-air-gift-set/)


	15. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Thank you for being patient with this chapter; me and Ash (my beta) have both returned to university so we’re still getting into the swing of working again! (I’m studying english literature and classical civilisations you wanted to know) 
> 
> CW: psychological abuse, violence and threat of burning (none takes place nor torture of any kind) - If you would like to skip over this mention, the opening sentence of the paragraph is:
> 
> _“Let us warm you up then.”_
> 
> The ending sentence of the paragraph is:
> 
>  _The ladies released a petrified Jane, who stumbled back, into a corner._
> 
> I shall provide a summary of events in the end notes. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter ~~and please be nice to Rey~~ ❤️

Kira smiled as Rey stepped into the room. She beckoned her over, her smile widening as Rey accepted her seat. Kira was holding Medea, ready for her. 

“Good morning?” Rey nodded. “What did you do?”

Rey paused, unsure how much she should say. The hairs at the of her neck bristled. Rey swallowed and tried to replicate the princess’ easy smile.

“Swung a sword around.”

“I’m jealous, I’d love to do that.” Kira sighed. “You’re lucky.”

Rey snorted and hastily tried to disguise it as a sneeze. “You’re lucky you never had to pick up a sword. You got to be here; safe and…” she trailed off, her throat closing up. Kira took her hand, her own glistening eyes meeting Rey’s own.

“A golden cage is still a cage.” Kira was still smiling yet sadness tinged the edges; the corners of her mouth trembling, her cheek disfigured slightly- _she’s biting her cheek,_ Rey realised after staring. She flushed and turned her attention to the book. 

“Medea?”

“Medea.” Kira agreed, flipping the book open and read aloud the first sentence;

“Of all creatures that can feel and think, we women are the worst treated things alive.” She let out a delicate cold laugh. “Apt. Your turn, duckling.” 

✥

They read as the sky turned from bright blue to yellow, pausing only for Kira to order someone to turn the fire on, sending a soporific atmosphere out among the ladies. They began to yawn and wander about waiting for dinner. Kira had ordered a fire to go to keep the room warm, yet by this time, it had become stuffy. Rey sipped water, combating the feeling of light-headiness. Her dress stuck to her underarms, her back, and her legs via her sweat. She tugged at the material, trying to find release. Kira sat unperturbed upon the sofa, with one hand holding her book open, the other stroking Rey’ hair. Rey leaned into the touch, sighing and closing her eyes. Jane huffed and went to the windows, trying to prise one open for them. 

“Jane, stop that.” Kira spoke as though she was swatting a fly aside. 

Jane ignored her. Rey felt Kira’s hand still on her hair for a moment. Her stomach twisted painfully, sweat breaking out over her forehead that had nothing to do with the heat. 

“Jane,” Kira cooed, her hand resuming its movement. “Come here, piglet.”

Jane did so, the layer of her skirt bunching under her hands. Kira’s eyes flickered over her, a gleam in them which sent a shiver around the room. She smiled and turned to Rey.

“Duckling, what’s your favourite thing on Jane?”

“What?”

“Her necklace, her headband, her rings…” Kira prompted. “Anything.”

“Um,” Rey looked at Jane, who looked like she was about to wet herself. “Her headband?”

“Jane, take it off and give it to Duckling. Now,

Jane. Don’t pull at your hair, sweetling. Good girl.” 

Rey accepted the headband from the shaking girl. Other ladies had drifted over, circling Jane like vultures. Kira gleamed. She called out each ladies name, who said that they liked and took it from Jane; Albreda took her necklace, Katherine her shoes, Constance her hose, Florence her dress and Margaret her bodice until she was dressed in simply her slip. Jane wrapped her arms around herself, tears dripping off the end of her nose. 

“Oh, are you cold piglet?” 

Jane nodded slowly. Kira’s head jerked and Constance and Florence seized Jane’s arms. 

“Let us warm you up then.”

The two ladies dragged Jane over to the fire, one had her hand behind her head, pushing her towards the flames. Jane’s cries became wails as she edged closer to the fire. Kira sipped her wine and watched, giggling as her wails turned to screams. Rey stood up, started towards the fireplace-

“Duckling?” Kira caught her hand, gazing up at her. 

“You have to stop it.” 

Kira sighed and set her glass down. She stood, placing her other hand upon their entwined ones. “Duckling, if there is no order, there is anarchy. Did your leaders let everyone run amok?”

“No but-”

“Exactly.” She squeezed her hand. “But for you,” she turned to the ladies at the fireplace. “Enough.” 

The ladies released a petrified Jane, who stumbled back, into a corner. Kira nodded to a lady who covered Jane in a blanket and gave her a glass of wine, tipping the contents carefully into her mouth. Kira smiled at Rey, lifting a hand to her cheek. 

“You’re so kind, darling one.” Her nails scraped Rey’s skin as her hand moved back down to her side. “Don’t become a carpet.” With that, she was released and Kira went back to her sofa and her wine and her book, spreading out so there was no room for Rey anywhere other than the floor. 

Dinner arrived soon and Kira ordered the fire to be lessened and the windows to be opened. Rey tried to sit next to Jane at the table yet Kira firmly pulled her into the chair next to her, so she was seated between her and Katherine. Jane sat opposite her, looking down at her plate, not catching Rey’s eyes despite how much she tried. 

“Duckling? Hello?”

“Hello.” Rey snapped back to the present. Kira raised an eyebrow, chuckling. 

“We’ll have to work on your concentration skills, hmm?”

This sent sniggers around the table, and Rey fought to keep still, yet she still gripped her fork tightly in her hand. Kira continued as though she didn’t notice this. 

“As I said, I’m having a soirée day after next, so you all obviously have to come with guests.” Kira turned to Rey, her mouth curled in a half-sneer. “Even you, Duckling, you can’t share mine.” 

Rey forced herself to laugh and stabbed some chicken with her knife. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, I have someone.” _Oh, bollocks._

“Liar.” Albreda mockingly coughed out only to have Margaret dig her elbow into her.

“Rey is very pretty, she’ll be snapped up.” Florence retorted. 

“Unlike you.” Katherine jeered, ducking as Florence threw a handful of pine nuts at her. 

“Oh yeah? Who have you got Kath? The blind stable boy?”

The table laughed and Katherine sat up a tad straighter in her chair. 

“Actually, Cardo will escort me.”

“Ooooh escort you now? You sure that’s all?” Constance flicked her long blonde locks over her shoulder and fixed her eyes on Katherine smirking. 

“A lady never reveals one's secrets.” 

“It’ll only be dancing and talking in this room.” Kira interjected.

“And that room?” Margaret pointed to the far door. Kira smirked. 

“Whatever doesn’t ruin your reputation. Not that all of you care about that.” 

Rey ate the rest of her meal in silence, tasting only cardboard. _Was the comment for me? Was it directed at someone else? Or just a playful off the bat remark? Does she know?_ They had never discussed Kira’s knowledge of what was or wasn’t happening between them. Rey preferred not to think of her in those moments; imagining he was only hers. Maybe they should talk about her, at least so Rey knew where she stood in terms of their relationship. _What will happen post wedding? Will I be tossed aside or will we continue? Would Kira join in? Or would I be his private mistress? Or a public? Or allowed to leave?_ But then, if the rebellion has been squashed, where will I go? Could I work here as a servant? 

Questions swirled within her mixed with nausea. Making excuses, she left the room and headed for his chambers, determined to find some answers. She was so focused on this, she missed walking smack into Finn. 

“Careful.” He chided her slightly, his hands around her shoulders, steadying her. Rey swallowed and nodded, her body beginning to tremble. She hesitated before wrapping her arms around Finn in an embrace. He responded immediately, curving around her, his head resting next hers. 

“Finn?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to go to a party tomorrow? With me, I mean.”

“Sure, Rey.” 

She disentangled herself from him, her cheeks flushed but feeling calm. She smiled at him which he returned. 

“It’s at Kira’s.”

A shadow passed over his face but he nodded and fell into step with her as she made her way to Kylos. 

“How did you end up here?” 

He shrugged. “I’ve been here since birth.”

“You mean, your parents are here?”

“No, I don’t remember my parents. I’ve…just been here, training as a soldier. You?”

“I don’t remember my parents either.” 

“I’m sorry, that sucks.” 

“Sucks for you too.” They shared a smile, the air around them shimmering. Rey felt as though she was on the edge of a cliff, one step and she’d fall. She took a deep breathe and stepped forward. “So, why did you stay here? Serving the First Order?”

Finn paused, his forehead creasing. “I was taken from a family I'll never know. And raised to do one thing. I don’t know how to do anything else. I don’t have anywhere else to go but I-” he stopped, coughing slightly. “I mean, why are you still here? You have somewhere to go outside these walls.”

She bristled as they turned the corner. “Show me how to get out without being shot down and I will.” 

“There’s always a way.” His tone was gentle but his words were not. Rey felt a prickling swarm over her, tears threatening to spill. She ducked her head away from him yet he had already seen. He took her hand; warm and solid in her own.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I know it’s hard. I’m here for you.”

“Why? Why do you care, Finn? You’re First Order.”

“Just because I was born here doesn’t mean I believe in their ideals.”

“What-”

“Goodnight, Rey.”

They were at Kylo’s door. Finn nodded to her and then jogged away before she could protest. She contemplated running after him but knew pushing him wouldn’t work. She sighed, shelved the conversation and stepped into Kylo’s room. 

Rey entered with a storm cloud over her. She smiled distractedly at him, taking her chair at the table, and nibbling on some bread. Kylo’s heart was thrashing in his chest as he sat opposite her, his wrist still aching. He set his jaw and poured some soup for them both, his hand only trembling slightly. He ate with consideration, occasionally glancing at Rey who sat, half-shrank away from him, staring off into the distance. He sighed and repeated his question;

“Rey? How was your afternoon?”

“My reputation.” She whispered.

“Sorry?”

“Yours will be fine.” She snapped at him, her eyes blazing. “Did you ever think about mine?”

His own anger flashed like lightning in his veins. “I gave you a choice, I didn’t drag you here, I even gave you a night to think on it.” 

She slumped as fast as she’d snapped. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“It… It’s fine. What’s wrong?”

“What happens post-wedding?”

“To what?”

“To me?”

“What do you want to happen?”

She shrugged, folding her arms and staring out of the window. Kylo sighed and racked a hand through his hair. 

‘What do you want me to say?” He muttered. 

“Nothing.” She muttered back, her voice cracking. 

“You clearly want something. Spit it out.” He snapped, standing, his chair falling to the floor with a bang that made her flinch. 

“Am I your mistress? Will I be your mistress?”

“You’re… Rey. You’re Rey.”

“That’s my name, yes.” She snarled, standing herself and pacing about the room. Kylo clenched his fists, longing to drive it into something. Instead, he focused on his feet on the ground, his breathe, the cool evening breeze flitting over his face. 

“Don’t think Kira will like you being shared.” She rounded on him.

“She doesn’t own me.”

Rey barked out laughter. “I watched her near burn a girl today and you think she’ll just happily let me slide into your bed? I don’t think anyone has a hold over her. You wouldn’t even walk me into the chambers because Kira doesn’t permit me.” 

They stood on opposite ends of the room, breathing heavily, both itching to drive their hands into something. Rey scoffed and continued; 

“Call yourself a prince.” 

His blood rushed in his ears. “I am a prince, I know my place in this story.”

“Yeah and I’m free to make my own. I want to know, why me?” 

“For what?”

“Why me?” She yelled, stalking towards him. “Why did you choose me? Why am I here? Why did you help me? _Why me_?” 

“You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You're nothing-”

Rey slammed her fist into his stomach, making him double, gasping for breath. Before he could stay himself, her foot connected with his jaw with a crunch, sending him staggering to the side. She spun, her foot reaching out to his side, but he caught it and pushed her away, air beginning to return to his lungs. He successfully blocked her next few attacks but still got pummelled in his ribs by her fists. He shook his head, backing away, memories closing in around him-

_He was screaming and hitting out at his mother for leaving him once again. His mother, so soft and strong in equality, simply wound her arms around him and let him ruin her blouse with his tears and snot. They had sat on the floor; his mother, his protector, his comfort, wrapped up in her arms until he had calmed down and drifted away to sleep._

He came back to present with Rey slapping his face. He shook the pain away and bundled her up his arms, as his mother had done. Rey squirmed, lashing out, shouting obscenities at him all the while. He sat down on the cold floor, still cradling her and rocked her like his mother had done. He pressed her face into his shoulder and rocked her while she sobbed. She tried for a bit to control herself, but he only hugged her harder and said small and gentle things into the cloud of her hair, and she finally gave up and cried with the complete abandon of a child, until she was worn to utter limpness and hiccupping exhaustion. Flushing the colour of a tomato, she wriggled away from him slightly.

“What’s going to happen?”

“I don’t know.” His voice was hoarse. “I don’t know but I…” he tailed off, the promise dying on his lips. She leant towards and kissed him, catching it, accepting it.

_Nothing. You’re nothing. Nothing._

The word bounced around inside of her brain, whispering, shouting it's presence. She tugged Kylo closer, hoping the feel of his mouth upon hers, his body curving to hers would fade out the voice– but to no avail. Instead others joined it; taunts from her childhood, words spoken in frustration by her friends when she clung to them, Kira’s little jibes towards her earlier. She flinched away from them and bit his lip, making him gasp. She kissed him as though she were drowning and he was a gulp of air. Her hands clinging to him, dragging him closer, yearning to burn her presence into him. In years to come, she wanted him to remember this day; as she would.

She smiled and began shifting her body so he was leaning against the wall, with her legs on either side of him, his hands resting upon her waist.

_These hands think you're nothing._

_He said not to him._

_He only said that so you’d stop crying. He didn’t mean it._

_Then I’ll show him nothing._

She drove one hand into his chest, pinning him to the wall. The other went to the front of his trousers, tugging at the material. He raised his hips obediently, his own hands pushing hers aside to pull his clothing from his body. He groaned as her hand wrapped around his erection, feeling him grow within her movements. His head dropped onto her shoulder, his hands at her waist. She moved slowly, precisely, listening to him whine and feeling him wriggle, trying to make her go faster. His lips went to her throat, biting at her soft skin. She gasped as he did, squeezing. He pulled her closer, his mouth sucking at her neck. So fiercely she knew she’d leave with a bruise. 

_Good. Let them talk over their tea about who gave to me._

Rey wound her hand in his hair, pulling him closer to her, whispering encouragements. Whilst his mouth explored her throat, brushing over her collarbones, his hands went to the back of her dress, pulling at the strings so her gown slid over her shoulders and down her torso. Growling, Kylo pulled at her bodice, the lacing falling away at his fingers. She moved her hand from his hair to the wall, to steady herself, her knees shifting in response, hitting the floor. Before he could pull the her chemise away, she leaned back and shoved him in the chest once more. 

_You said nothing, you get nothing._

She watched with a twisted triumph at his eyes grow darker, frustration etched into his face. She heard his cursing, felt his body complain. She only smiled and tightened her grip. His eyelids fluttered closed, a deep sigh escaping. For now, for one glorious moment, he was hers. To command. To bend to her will. With a deft squeeze she could elicit moans from him. With a slick twist, she could make him murmur words under his breath; 

“You bloody minx.”

Rey knew what she wanted to do; even spied it a couple of times whilst growing up and knew well enough that their current position would not work comfortably for them both. She released him and, ignoring his protests and curses, pulled him upright and sat him on the edge of the bed. She pulled a pillow from it and laid it upon the floor. Kylo watched her with a growing sense of fear and excitement. He gripped the post of his bed tightly with his hand, his other pressed into his thigh to stop it shaking. 

She knelt down, his erect cock coming eyeline with her. She hesitated, staring at him. It seemed larger somehow, now she was closer to it. Yet, it held a certain beauty. The cream of his skin mingled with the blue veins and pinkish tip. She traced a vein with her fingertip, a thrill running through her as he hissed.

_It’s so big... How will it fit?_

He burst into laughter and she flushed, pulling away, realising she had spoken. He caught her face in his hands, his face dropping back into its seriousness.

“I’ve seen you eat, you can make it fit.” He smirked, releasing her and leaning backwards slightly so it crept towards her. She nodded and gripped the base of him. She glanced at Kylo, watching his eyes grow darker and hazier. He gave her a lazy smile yet his fingers gripping bed sheets gave him away. 

She felt a thrill go through her and licked him base to tip in one smooth motion.

“Fuck!” The word tore from his lips, deep and rich and unapologetic. Liquid pooled at the tip of him, which Rey licked away, tasting salt. Kylo swore once more, his knuckles upon the pillar turning white. He wanted to close his eyes, savour the emotion yet he also didn’t want to miss a second of Rey. In years to come, he wanted to remember this day; as she would. Hopefully. 

She repeated the motion but this time stopped at his tip, her eyes meeting his as she took it in her mouth and slowly sank down. She could feel his legs shaking, see his eyes misting over, hear his ragged breath filling the room. She pulled back up, her tongue tracing against this underside as she did. He moaned, his other hand coming to her cheek, stroking it softly. She smiled at him as she wound both her hands around him, now slick with her saliva and began to move in tandem, twisting as she went. He winced and hissed as her teeth snagged against him. She froze.

“Orry.” She mumbled, her mouth still full with him. He laughed, a snort escaping as she began to splutter and snigger also. She paused, took a deep breath through her nose, closed her eyes and bent her head back down. He did not know where her mouth stopped and her hands began. Pure bliss engulfed him and he watched as Rey bobbed on his cock, her hazel eyes occasionally flicking up to his and, god, she smiled. He could feel himself beginning to lose control, his body shaking, noises beyond his comprehension coming out of his mouth. 

_Should I warn her? Last time she ran- oh fuck._

His thoughts turned to a jumbled string of swear words and calling out to god as her tongue licked over his tip, slowly at first and then building in momentum as her hands tightened. Her movements were sloppy, messy, sticky but he had a look of pure happiness on his face so she continued as she was. Continued until he was trembling, his hands gripping her hair. Continued until his face screwed up, a deep growling coming from his chest. Continued until hot, salty liquid shot into her mouth and she gagged slightly, hastily swallowing before pulling away and feeling it run down her chin; watching it pool over her hands. 

“Oh lord.” Kylo groaned, looking at her. She peeked up at him, smiling, vaguely aware of his cum beginning to slide off her chin and land on her chest. She could feel it running down and dabbed at her chest with her chemise which was still protecting her dignity. He shuddered and closed his eyes, falling back on to the bed, releasing her. She stood, wiping her chin with a cloth from the table and doing her clothing back up. She fumbled with the back but it held together well enough to get her back to her room. Kylo was lying motionless on the bed, one arm flung over his face. He did not lower it when she shook him slightly, whispered her goodbyes.

Before she pulled the door shut, he spoke;

“Thank you Rey.”

Tears sprang to her eyes and she stuffed her hand in her mouth so he wouldn’t hear her cries down the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary:  
> Kira orders the ladies to hold Jane over the fire, which they do. Rey protests and tries to stop the action, but Kira blocks her. She notes that “ if there is no order, there is anarchy. Did your leaders let everyone run amok?” Rey: “No but-”. Kira: “Exactly.” Kira says that for Rey she will release Jane and they do. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and see you next week ❤️ I hope you have a gorgeous week!


	16. XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweethearts! I hope you've had a good week. 
> 
> CW: Talk of war, abuse and mention of blood. Please be advised, take care and enjoy 💗
> 
> I do not go into detail of the abuse however if you would like to skip over the mention, the start of the section is:  
>  _His sentence was cut off by Snoke’s open palm meeting his face_
> 
> Then end of the section is:  
>  _Yet, this time, he wasn’t alone._
> 
>   
> If you would like to skip over the mention of blood, the start of the section is:  
>  _Kylo twisted his mouth into a grin_
> 
> Then end of the section is:  
>  _staining his clothing._
> 
> I will add a summary of the events at the end of this chapter 💗

"You’ll head out at daybreak, with a small band of soldiers. Do better than last time.” Snoke's voice filled the small war room, setting everybody’s teeth on edge. Kylo fought not to shuffle in his chair but it was difficult. He had invited Rey to breakfast and following her refusal, lunch. Which she also refused, citing Kira as an excuse. Instead, she had asked to go to the training room, alone. He had granted her but it nagged at his brain. Was she embarrassed for the previous evening? If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be him, yet he felt nothing but happiness and yearning for a repeat. 

He felt a bloom of happiness and bit his cheek to hide his smile. He’d often heard his knights speak of such things, both in praise and disgust as per the ladies skill. Some ladies had even offered themselves to him. He was tempted by some yet some nagging part of him hadn’t wanted it to be quick in some broom cupboard where anybody could walk in. For those ladies to gossip, for his own skills to spread about the castle like wildfire. Having to sit opposite Snoke, Kira or Palpatine with the knowledge they knew of his endeavours. With no small amount of pain, he had brushed them aside and retired to his room, his hand rubbing against himself as he thought of them. Their doleful eyes, their hair brushing against his cheek, their warm breath against his ear, their bodies pushed against his, heat swirling, the swell of their breasts in their corset dresses. He thought until he spilt over his stomach. Now, he had Rey. Who wouldn’t talk. Who appreciated the delicacy of their meetings and treated him as _him,_ not a prince, not Kylo Ren. He felt his stomach drop and his body tense in anticipation. He shook his head. He’d have to find a way to stop thinking of her else he’d have to lock her in his room to enjoy each other forevermore. 

“A week.”

He was jolted back to the room and turned to Snoke, blurting out:

“A week?”

“Yes, my boy. A week.” Snoke’s eyes pierced him and he ducked his head as usual. “Should be plenty of time to eradicate those who seek to oppose us.” 

Kylo felt sweat trickle down his back and burst across his forehead. _Did Snoke know? Did anyone know?_ He had no doubt that those at the rebel camp knew what he had done, that the girl had run back with stories of him. And if they had a mole inside of their camp - he couldn’t be sure as Snoke and Hux usually handled that and didn't share the information with anybody else lest they be captured - then they could hear those stories and report back to them. His own loyalty would be called into question. His own position. The life he’d carefully created would crumble within seconds. He clenched his fists to stop his shaking hands. _She has made me weak. No._ Another voice interjected. _He has made you weak._

His sentence was cut off by Snoke’s open palm meeting his face, sending his face snapping the side. He laughed as he brought his backhand around so his neck snapped the other way. The whiplash sent his feet sprawling, his body meeting the cold floor. Through blurred vision, he watched Snoke’s expression turn smug. He blinked, shaking his head, trying clear it and stood, his arms shaking as he pressed into them before limping to his feet. He watched Snoke’s face turn pure white with fury and let a thrill run through him; enough energy to stand fully despite his shaking legs. 

“Get back down.” Snoke roared. Kylo twisted his mouth into a grin, feeling the blood dribble down his chin, no doubt staining his clothing.

“Floor's uncomfortable.”

That earned him another blow which sent him sprawling and Snoke’s foot pressing into his face, all the while he bellowed about _respect_ and _you’re nothing but a worthless insolent weakling._ Words that, once, only a few weeks ago, would have rendered him lifeless, nodding along, grovelling at his feet now left him... empty. Like they simply entered the air and then floated away like clouds, nothing to do with him. Glanced off him like sunlight on a lake. He heard a voice calling his name. _Ben. Ben._ It dragged at him like an anchor, pulling him down. He closed his eyes and retreated to some dim place within, where there was nothing but an aching grey blankness and where the sound of Snoke’s voice, still yelling, was no more than a faint yapping.

He supposed he must’ve smiled because the next words to enter his space were:

“You think this is funny, do you? Wipe that smile off your pathetic face... Although, one has to admit, your failures are funny. You’ve failed as a son, an heir and are on your way to failing as an apprentice. You’re right, it is funny. Smile then, Ren.” 

Hands seized his face, pulling at his skin and he retreated further inwards. To his sanctuary; where he could not be reached by any soul.

Yet, this time, he wasn’t alone. 

Rey sat in the centre of his father's ship, the Millennium Falcon, from his smuggling days. It was an old viking ship, a knarr. It seemed smaller than it had been in his childhood; the square rig flowing gently in the breeze. His hand ran along the grey wood, looking over the boards where he had run and fallen many a time as a child. He padded down the steps to the captain's quarters, listening to the boats familiar creaking. The ship shook slightly, humming, taking Snoke’s actions and words for him. 

He started as he entered his father's quarters and Rey smiled up at him from the floor and held out her hand. He went over, taking her hand and sat opposite her. Their other hands also linked and they sat, gazing at each other. Not for the first time, he was struck by how remarkably pretty she was. The slope of her nose, the arch of her cheekbones, the curves of her body. 

“Where are we?” She glanced about the room, her lovely features showing curiosity, her body twisting this way and that as she stained to take in everything. 

“M-My, My f-f...fathers ship.” 

Rey turned back to him, her expression soft and curious. Her hands squeezed his. “Will you tell me about him?”

“One day.” He returned the squeeze. 

“I look forward to it.” She smiled, her face lighting up like the stars in the night sky. 

“I don’t.”

She cupped his face, her expression turning tender. He closed his eyes, not wanting it, not _deserving_ it yet he leaned into her touch. Her hand became rougher, longer, wider within his embrace. He opened his eyes and was looking into his mother's dark brown eyes. She was as beautiful as he remembered but each time he thought of her tiny details altered. More or less a line appeared upon her skin, her hair either rich brown or with grey streaks. His mind flip flopped between the two; remembering how she looked versus what she might look like now. Would he ever know what she looked like now? She was fading from his mind as was his father.

“My brave boy. Come home soon.” 

Tears blossomed in his eyes. “I can’t go home.”

His mother said nothing. Instead, she smiled. It was soft, her laughter lines becoming it more prominent as she did.

“Ben,” His mother’s tone was soft yet chiding, her smile soft, her eyes steely. He swallowed and tired again.

“I-”

The ship was still and then disappeared. His eyes fluttered open to watch Snoke’s feet walking away from him. He waited for the door to slam shut before he allowed his tears to fall, stuffing his gloves in his mouth so his despair made no sound.

✥

“Got everything?” Leia smiled at Kaydel, who nodded, slinging her rucksack onto her back. The others stood by their horses, awaiting her, chatting lightly amongst themselves so as to afford them some privacy. “Run the plan again.”

“Intercept, distract, get in, get the package, get out. Hope we don’t get caught or realised too soon.”

The older woman nodded, her hand coming to rest upon Kaydel's shoulder. “Good luck.”

Kaydel nodded, unable to resist reaching for Leia who wrapped her into a hug. Kaydel breathed in her warm, comforting scent of daffodils and embers, missing it already. Leia dropped a kiss onto the top of her head before releasing her. The pair smiled at each other before Kaydel turned and joined the others. As a group, they placed their bags onto their horses, swung onto the horses and rode away into the orange dusk in silence. 

✥

No matter how hard Rey pulled, the dress refused to go over her shoulders. She twisted and turned to no avail. Huffing, she yanked it back over her head, exhaling loudly and dropping the dress upon the floor where she kicked it for good measure. What was Kylo thinking giving this to her? Not practicality, that was for sure. 

She sighed and then tried again, this time loosening the lacing a tad more before sliding the red silk over her body. It fit like a glove. The corset clung to her torso, the V dipping almost to her breastbone. The skirt tumbled around her legs, stopping at her ankles, the shadows and candlelight turning it a thousands of shades of red. She drew her hair back into her usual three buns, leaving little curly tendrils so frame her face. Picking up the bowl of ground leaves of angelica, she dabbed some of the powder onto her lips to turn them rouge. She peeked at herself in the window, vaguely making out her pale face; pointed chin, sharp cheekbones, wide eyes. 

A knock came at her door and she nearly stumbled onto the floor in her haste to answer it. Finn stood, in a tan doublet and crisp white shirt. He held out a bunch of yellow roses to her. 

“Thank you, Finn.” Rey grinned, taking each rose and wounding it into her buns so they rested between the spaces. Finn gave a low whistle, looking her up and down, grinning. He himself was dressed in a white shirt and black trousers, his tunic over the top a moss green with silver details upon the hem and collar, all tied up with a black leather belt. 

“You look amazing, Rey.”

She flushed darkly and looked down, shaking her head slightly, scrunching her nose and pursing her lips. “So do you.”

“Shall we, my lady?” He held out his arm. 

“Not a lady.” She rolled her eyes but took his arm, warmth rushing through her as she did. His presence was as though the sun had burst through the clouds, lighting up everything in its path. Her feet were steady as they began their journey to the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary:
> 
> Snoke shoves Kylo to the floor, insulting him all the while. Kylo gets back up, with a bloody nose and fights back. Snoke does overpower him but Kylo retreats into himself for protection.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story! Please feel free to leave me a comment or a give a quick kudos. They mean so much to me and I really appreciate them ❤️
> 
> I studied history, specialising in the Tudor period and I've tried my best to make this story as accurate as possible. If you do spot any mistakes, feel free to notify me so I may fix them in the future.
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful [Ash](https://twitter.com/daisyridlevs) for being an amazing beta! ❤️
> 
> If you like my work, come say hi to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/anyataylorjxy) or support me [here](https://ko-fi.com/emrys)


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